Xmas bonus

And a pay rise. I'm feeling all warm and Christmassy now.

 

What ya get?

Actually, I've only ever had one xmas bonus that I've thought
"excellent". That was a months salary, a bottle of Jack Daniels and a
couple of grams of cocaine.

This year I got £30 in asda vouchers and a bottle of wine and an xmas
lunch. About £50 in total at a guess.

Previously I've had bugger all.

So what do you lot get?

 

Well, the bonus worked out at about a week's dosh. Not a vast sum, but
enough to cover Christmas.

 

No christmas bonus, But I get up to 15% of yearly pay in June. Well thats
what the letter says I can get.

 

Four weeks pay at M&S. Not too shabby.

 

Now that's what I call a bonus.

 

Doesnotcompute said...

I got the pleasure of going back to work on the 5th, and not being on
the dole again.

 

Last year it was max 15% as a bonus, this year it was changed with a 3%
salary raise for everyone and our future the bonuses will be capped at
10% instead, with 6% being the guideline for a good performance.

It's all a bit neg really.

 

Question is, did you get the 15% last year? All the figures mean nothing if
they say the usual "its been a hard year". I have only managed 2 in 5 yrs
and no, none have reached 15% yet

 

No, it goes on your grading over the year we get graded 1-4 in an end of
year review, with 1's are like hens teeth, 2's aren't all that freely
given, 3's are for people who've done an ok job.

A 1 used to get 15%, a 2 - 10%, a 3 - 6% and a 4 - 0%..

The last 2 years got me 10% with a load of bullshit about how I just
missed out on a 1 (which I know was actually down to politics, not my
work), I find out on monday what this year's corporate whoring gets me..
10%, 6%, 3% or 0%..

 

You are lucky its so simple, ours needs a degree in statistics to work out.
It says something about the bonus can go to 30% if the compay does 200% of
projected profit. Ha, fat chance. The best I have ever got was last year at
12.5%.

Still I will have to dream this year..

 

Absoultely bugger-all.... despite hitting all our targets.

Fsking bastard desk-jockeys at head office managed to **** up the gross
profit calculations.

Argh!

 

On Sat, 20 Dec 2003 16:55:10 +0000, Doesnotcompute

[bonuses]

now that's a bonus. Did you work for the drugs squad or customs &
excise?

Just a load of unending grief and anxiety coupled with continued "game
playing" by the bosses. btw what's a bonus?

 

A big fat zero.

 

I managed £120.

 

Money , ytc ! :=)

Doesn't atke much to please you does it :=}

Depends on when the don't fubar the wages.

We get ours quarterlyish, max of 10% if we are good little boys and girls.

 

Do what I did. I've awarded myself a bottle of Warre's Warrior )

 

On Sat, 20 Dec 2003 16:55:10 +0000, Doesnotcompute

Us lot, as in ukrm, in general?

Well I got sweet FA

Actually, that's not true. I had to pay for the Christmas lunch. So
I got less than sweet FA.

 

On Sat, 20 Dec 2003 17:42:38 -0000, Ginge

I have stopped making any effort at work since I discovered that our
pay rise grading system is based on a bastadised bell curve.

Even if you've worked your bollocks off and done a fantastic job, and
your boss thinks you've done a brilliant job, you are likely to end up
with the same grading as everyone else because each area is given an
alloation of grade 1,2,3 and 4s. 4% get grade 1, 10% get grade 2, 75%
get grade 3 and 5-11% get grade 4 (those that don't make grade 4 get,
confusingly, a grade "0" and a zero pay rise, but the money doesn't
go back in the pot).

Given the numbers in each area, that means 1 person gets a grade 1, 2
get grade 2s and everyone else except the dosser/leaver/new starter
gets a grade 3. Even if the local management feel that more people
should be awarded grades 1 and 2, there is a "peer review" meeting
where they are knocked back down again. Obviously local management
want to ensure they are the ones who get the precious few grades 1 and
2 ...

Since the pay rise difference between a grade 2 and a grade 3 is 0.5%,
it's not worth the effort at all. (To get a grade 1 you have to be
divorced from reality, sleeping with the MD, and gamble on the latest
corporate fad still being in fashion at pay review time).

 

On Sat, 20 Dec 2003 19:37:42 +0000 (UTC), "Dr Ivan D. Reid"

Well that's why you underpaid, silly )