Woodland Alliance strikes again

Well, we've discovered one reason why the washing machine (see previous
posts) has been playing up.

Bloody mice have gnawed away the insulation on the wiring.

Needless to say, the cat is as much use as a perforated condom. We've
threatened it with the Oxfam shop if it doesn't do its stuff.

The wiring runs under the kitchen floor.

The real problem here is that the bodger we bought the place from relaid
the kitchen floor by putting new planks down, crosswise on top of the
old ones.

At the risk of stating the bleeding obvious, the top layer goes like
this:

||||||||

And underneath, the planks run

_
_
_
_

So, to lift *one* floorboard from the lower layer means the entire
kitchen floor has to come up. because he put the kitchen units, gas
cooker, oven, etc on top of his double floor, that means they have to
come up too.

In short, to lift one floorboard, the entire kitchen has to be removed.

Argh. Right now, insulation tape is bodging things.

The alternative, whichy I daresay we'll do, is to chop the entire power
supply to the kitchen, and lay a new ring main at floor level, in
conduits.

<Thinks>

Timo, did you ever own the Chateau? In a past life?

I am now pissed.

 

message

You get stuck for a *proper* sparky, email me. Will work for beer.

*ding*. (but not when working obviously guvnor)....<arf, arf ,arf
.....snigger>

JB

 

Didn't you read the contract that came with it? "It's stuff" is mainly
snoozing on the sofa and shedding hair on guests.

Hehehehe Bwahahahahahahaha!

Nope, I don't bodge things like that . But by reading your description
I was beginning to wonder if we both bought a house from the same
bloke...

Speaking of houses, my mum was here for the past couple of weeks and we
were talking about me ripping out the manky old (yukky brown) carpet
that graces the upstairs, the staircase and some other parts of the
house. One evening she pointed out that the carpet in the downstairs loo
is hiding the same wooden floor as I have in the living room, plus there
was a perfectly serviceable wooden staircase hiding under more carpet.

Of course cleaning up said staircase would be a lot easier if they'd
just stuck the carpet down with double sided tape instead of backing up
said tape with a really nasty glue...

 

Had to do a similar thing at my sisters when she bought her present
house, but her problem was the walls. Previous bodge artist had
supposedly bricked up a previous door and window to put in a Patio Door
affair.

However, he hadn't took the door or window off, or glazing out, simply
plasterboarded over them, leaving the lighting and mains wiring intact,
with no sockets/switches ... just the bare wiring ending in a plastered
hole ... still live.

She also use to get minor shocks every time she used the shower.

That had no earth and was fed via the attic from a plug screwed into a
mains socket in one of the bedrooms. And I do mean screwed, they had
put the plug in, then drilled it and used a 3" screw right through
plug, socket and holder to hold it in.

Frightening.

 

Email us with a contact number, just in case....

 

Didn't your survey pick any of that up?

Mark

 

I'll bet!

 

Why didn't your surveys pick up on this stuff? I just wouldn't have
bought the place.

But then, with my Dad being in a related trade, I've heard all the
horror stories and have always had the full building surveys done, not
just the valuation survey.

 

Even worse was they'd (previous owner) been using it like that, kids
an' all, for about a year. Sister saw it straight away and called me.
I called a 'real' electrician ... didn't even touch it ...

Ended up re-wiring top to bottom, and total re-working of the whole
house, plaster off etc so we could see any other 'special' bits, but
they were the major ones.

'No nails' used to hold tiles on was a nice find.

 

Christ.

Our survey revealed that the house was structurally sound, and that
the main electricity ring main had been very well installed, but most
electrical installations off it had been bodged. Finding a live plug
socket, wrapped in gaffer tape, and hidden under the hallway
floorboards, confirmed that diagnosis.

But the survey managed to get quite a bit of money off the asking
price, and the Chateau was indeed bought very, very cheaply, so we
aren't complaining.

Why people don't bother with a full survey utterly eludes me.

 

I've only ever bought 2 houses.. in both cases they had NHBC warranty
left to run, so it seemed pointless going for anyhting more than the
minimum legal requirement.

 

For more modern houses, I suppose it makes sense. Mine Dew, a
dedicated bodger can wreck a new house in weeks, I'd have thought...

 

It was an auction sale for ver' ver' small amounts of money (30k ish)
and is now worth considerably more.

At the time she needed somewhere very quickly with land attached to it
which she needed for her horses. The house was almost secondary as she
was seriously considering another plot of land with a barn ... and
moving into a caravan on the site while she 'did up' the barn.

 

No. Everything but Part P. But I have another colleague who is registered
for that.

JB

 

Hands up who is surprised about this...

I guess it either depends on the quality of the surveyor or things have
changed a little recently. The survey for the Schloss consisted of a
couple of pages of minor things that I'd already found, another
relatively minor thing I hadn't, several statements along the lines of
'me guidedog didn't seen nuffink, guv' and a long list of legal
disclaimers that basically suggested that he didn't know much about
anything and that I should really get a sparky, plumber, roofer and god
knows who else in to check their respective areas.

And of course the guy missed *all* the major issues...

From what I hear in other places this is anything but an unusual
experience, which does explain to me why people stop bothering with full
surveys and do the minimum they can get away with.

 

.... assuming that the builder didn't do the job for him, that is.

 

Heh.

I'm surprised he's not thought about breaking it to be honest.

 

eBay
"On roofing tile....."

 

On eBay

"One roofing tile..."

"See my 8,000 other auctions.

 

**** orf all of ye.