Woodland Alliance: Fifth columnists

Discussion in 'UK Motorcycles' started by Wicked Uncle Nigel, Mar 18, 2009.

  1. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Wicked Uncle Nigel Guest

    So, there I was this morning, trundling along the A602, no particular
    hurry (I was going to work, FFS). There's a bit where overtakes are
    pretty much a non-starter, even on a bike.

    I was behind one of those irritating tarts who gradually accelerate to
    65-ish, get scared and brake down to 50. I dropped back a bit to even
    the speed pulses out, and waited for the next overtaking bit.

    Suddenly, and without warning, she slammed on and swerved. I mean, full
    on. Fortunately I was back a bit and barely troubled the ABS.

    And the cause of this manoeuvre?

    A pigeon.

    A fucking pigeon.
     
    Wicked Uncle Nigel, Mar 18, 2009
    #1

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  2. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Wicked Uncle Nigel Guest

    Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Champ
    Heh. OK, "a wanking pigeon".

    Better?
     
    Wicked Uncle Nigel, Mar 18, 2009
    #2

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  3. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    zymurgy Guest

    Copulating, presumably ..

    Paul.
     
    zymurgy, Mar 18, 2009
    #3
  4. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Simon Wilson Guest

    How do you know it wasn't a pigeon and say, a hedgehog?
     
    Simon Wilson, Mar 18, 2009
    #4
  5. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    MikeH Guest

    "It was flat and I was trying to pump it up"
     
    MikeH, Mar 18, 2009
    #5
  6. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Wicked Uncle Nigel Guest

    Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Simon Wilson
    I'll thank you to keep your sick bucolic fantasies to yourself, you
    pervert.
     
    Wicked Uncle Nigel, Mar 18, 2009
    #6
  7. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    dog Guest

    jainism is gradually making inroads into britain, then. the next tirthankar
    will be pleased.
     
    dog, Mar 18, 2009
    #7
  8. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    darsy Guest

    meanwhile in Africa:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7946614.stm

    one step closer to the Rise of the Apes.
     
    darsy, Mar 18, 2009
    #8
  9. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    darsy Guest

    you're one to talk. Still, this ain't no manatee, but is Floridian -
    how's about some hot girl-on-alligator action?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7941699.stm
     
    darsy, Mar 18, 2009
    #9
  10. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Wicked Uncle Nigel Guest

    Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique,
    typed
    Yeee-HAW!
     
    Wicked Uncle Nigel, Mar 18, 2009
    #10
  11. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Eddie Guest

    Eddie, Mar 18, 2009
    #11
  12. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    ogden Guest

    20 years or so ago I went on a school trip to Port Lympne zoo. The only
    thing I really remember about the trip was the chimps.

    They had a routing where they'd piss in a pool, suck it up into their
    mouths, then climb up the mesh of the cage. By this point they'd have a
    large audience pointing and oohing at the monkey with a mouth full of
    piss.

    At which point the chimp would blow a huge raspberry, spraying everyone
    in range with a fine drizzle of chimp urine.

    Made my day, that did.
     
    ogden, Mar 19, 2009
    #12

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