Why do they always say that ?

Just when I am beginning to get my confidence levels up, just before a ride
some bugger always says "don't you kill yourself will you", not only that
but the say it like they have just given you a handy little tip, you know
like you were planning to until they mentioned it... bastards!

So my initial grin of anticipation drains from my face and is replaced by my
top lip sticking to my teeth as my mouth runs dry and my normal healthy
colour drains into my boots... sod's aren't they?

D

 

David Thomas wrote

So respond with a cheery, "I won't if you promise not to kill any
children on pedestrian crossings." Or similar.

And if it scares you that bad then give it up now while you are still
ahead.

I'll give you a tenner for your bike.

 

Pikey

--
Oldbloke

2000 Honda CB500
BOTAFOT #140
"He's like Robbo's chubby kid brother"

 

It's just games people play.
Take Dr. Eric Berne's advice and punch him on the nose.

 

Good point

Never, never, never, shan't

How did you know my bike was worth a tenner

D

 

Oldbloke wrote

Yes and...

 

Or "I won't if you promise to do something about your body odour
problem"

 

Or "Ride Safely"

To which I reply "No, I will ride like an utter **** !"

Nah , **** 'em, keep the grin, what do they know ?

 

Just think to yourself "Prolly not but I will have fun trying!"

 

Point out that car drivers die every day as well. Then go out and scare
yourself silly
--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
Allfa 116 giulietta 3.0l (Really). Sprint 1.7
Ducati Monster 600 Metallic
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

It's alright and perfectly normal. Non-bikers have a standard set of
conversational gambits that they use when talking to bikers. Over time you
will hear all of them, but it is most unlikely that new ones will emerge
because, frankly, people who don't ride bikes aren't that imaginative.

A non-exhaustive list would include:

"Be careful on that bike, won't you?"
"I'd love a bike, but they're too dangerous."
"I wouldn't like to be biker in this weather."
"Do you stop riding in the winter?"
"My husband/wife/brother/sister/nephew/niece/neighbour/dog has got a bike,
but I don't know what kind it is."
"Modern bikes are really fast, aren't they?"
"You must be soaked"[1]
"Do you have a car as well?"
"How much do bikes cost?"
"Do you not worry about crashing?"
"I went to school with a lad who was killed in a bike crash."[2]

When you make the decision to become a biker your brain wipes these stored
phrases and starts replacing them with proper stuff to talk to a biker
about.

Funnily enough though, for reasons which are wholly underfunded in terms of
psychological research, when you decide to _stop_ being a biker your brain
will wipe this new information and use it to store hundreds of tales which
all start with, "I used to have a [type of bike] when I was a lad and ..."

I'm sure those who have been biking longer than me can supply a few of the
rarer conversational gambits that I may have overlooked.

[1] Normally made in a tone of voice that suggests that, after 3 hours of
riding in the pissing rain, you might no longer be capable of making this
deduction.
[2] Upon cross-examination they won't know what caused the crash, what
vehicles were involved or what the lad (and it's always a lad) was called
and will eventually admit it was somebody that one of their older brother's
mates knew.


--
AndrewR, D.Bot (Celeritas)
Kawasaki ZX-6R J1
BOTAFOT#2,ITJWTFO#6,UKRMRM#1/13a,MCT#1,DFV#2,SKoGA#0 (and KotL)
BotToS#5,SBS#25,IbW#34, TEAR#3 (and KotL), DS#5, Keeper of the TFSTR#
The speccy Geordie twat.

 

I find "**** off ****" usually works for me.
Did feel a bit guilty last time mind. Still kids are resilient and he
is nearly twelve.

 

Are you a man or a mouse? Listen to the voices in your head.

 

"You know, I've decided with all that danger and inconvenience it's best
to to stop riding a bike. Best you give me your car NOW or I will have
to kill you." )

 

AndrewR wrote

I reckon you got it pretty well covered there.

 

"Squeak"

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Old Fart at Play said:

I read that book and I wouldn't recommend reading it, it throws
everything into doubt you ever thought you knew about people and never
did me any good.

Ignorance is bliss I reckon.

 

You're old and smell of wee?

--
Oldbloke

2000 Honda CB500
BOTAFOT #140
"He's like Robbo's chubby kid brother"

 

"Not on the bike today then?" when you walk into work in jog pants and
trainers and there's two inches of snow outside...

 

Wife always says "Be careful", usual replies are "Who me?" or "I
always am".

In future, when others make these comments, I'm going to tell them to
eat some cat shit!