Why do the innocent parties come off worse?!?

Well, I can't really explain it to you, because your empathic score is
so low that you can't see it. And, as my score shows, I'm barely any
better.

Still, I'll give it a shot:

A manager's job is to manage, which includes getting his team to be as
productive and efficient as possible. The people in his team will
have various personalities and psychological "needs" [1]. Being aware
that one of his staff is "in a pissy mood" will greatly assist the
manager in getting the best out of that member of staff. Thinking
"it's not my problem he's in a pissy mood", or, worse, not even
realising, is likely to cause a negative response from the staff
member - he'll be feeling uncared for and un-valued.

[1] I've come to the conclusion that almost all of the behaviour that
people show at work is due to their personality/psychology, and almost
none of it is actually about the work in hand.

 

Yes it is.

And their manager should do their job and *manage*.

 

What if you suddenly get a raging boner whilst sitting at your desk and
need to go to the bogs for a quick wank?

That's a feeling, isn't it?

Same as if you're at home boning the missus and you know you're going to
be late for work

 

Crikey, you are unusual.

You have a man's brain, m'lady.

 

I'm lucky if I speak to my manager 2 or 3 times a month for more than 10
mins at a time... even then it's mostly over the phone!

I *always* get the job done due to a strong work ethic, the rest of my
generally follow the same approach... it's not about needing to be
managed so much about knowing a job needs completing by a deadline, and
making it happen.

Shouting achieves nothing at all. More so when there are 100's of miles
between various members of the same team.

Ranting? What ranting?

 

People aren't robots and sometimes real life gets in the way and you think
"**** it". By understanding the fragility or the work ethic in such a
soulless corporate environment people can generally work around each other's
mini breakdowns. You've posted things about going near-postal and saying
"**** it" before. Even if you're just venting it's part of the workplace
ethos to sympathise and work around you when you're having a period.

Don't be so literal, it was an example. It could be anything that
exacerbates a situation when a different approach would yield more positive
results.

You're always moaning about something or other work-related. How overworked,
, under-resourced, etc, etc. You're a living Dilbert. Don't make me google,
I cba.

 

Sometimes. But either:

a) I'm paying them, so I don't need to feel empathy for them.
b) They're paying me, so as long as I deliver what I'm being paid for,
empathy need not come into it.
c) They're a mate, so they just accept me and my cold heart and my
strange ways.

I can see how it'd be a useful skill in many walks of life, but not
really in mine.

 

I'll beg to differ, feelings are the symptom not the underlying cause.
You can make allowances for them, but they can't be directly controlled,
that's down to each individual to work out.

Define *manage*, in my view it's about striking the balance between
protecting staff from stitch-ups whilst meeting the needs of a business,
re-setting expectations on both sides in order to reflect reality,
capabilities, etc.

As for emotion, that's more about treating people as you'd want to be
treated yourself, about acting fairly, something I don't see as
something exclusive to management at all.

 

You've no idea what management really is.

"Shouting" was an (extreme) example.

You do. Really.

 

That kind of assumes managers and teams are in the same location,
doesn't it?

 

A socially inept 43, and proud of it!

 

Maybe not, but my team seem to be happy with the way I do things, and
strangely so do those I work for... Must be luck.

SHUT THE **** UP AND STOP PICKING ON ME YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!

I guess that's how it's seen. I'll have to do something about that.

 

I got an EQ score of 8[1] and didn't get as far as doing the other
test. I see that as not liking long quizes that try and analyze me.
[1] When are the retakes?

 

Actually I do this, but I don't see it as "work" or "management" I just
see it as dealing with people.

I'm generally venting. I don't think I've ever got myself quite to
breaking point, seems I've a tolerance to just about any amount of shit
so long as I vent occasionally.

I don't consider that ranting, as it's based entirely on fact. However
I do accept I've created myself a little stress driven mini universe and
realize it would be quite cool to break out of it.

 

Groan.

 

And you always get *exactly* what you pay for?

And you always deliver *exactly* what you're being paid for?

This sub-thread is quite amusing - there's plenty of folk who can't
even see *why* empathy would be useful. I freely admit I'm pretty
crap at it, but at least I can get an inkling as to what it's for.

 

Not in the slightest.

However, given that <some very large percentage> of communication is
non-verbal, being able to empathise with someone remotely is very
difficult.

 

Lemmiwinks, The Gerbil King says...

Humm 31, and along with my EQ and SQ scores means I should be a socially
inept geek who never comes out from behind their computer. Strange, cos I
actually like going out and meeting people.

 

If the person I'm paying wants to get paid then yes. If I'm paying for
something up-front, and someone doesn't deliver, then I just winge and
shout a lot until I get what I want or get a refund. Which usually works
fine (but, annoyingly, not always).

Yes, apart from when I deliver more.

Yeah, well I suppose the ideal would be to score highly in both sets of
tests. But, as a computer programmer, I'm not really expected to have
any interpersonal skills or patience. And that suits me fine! People
with empathy (or, at least, people who can fake empathy) have to go and
speak to customers and stuff. It sounds awful.

 

I thought that's what usenet is for; you can go out and meet people,
without having to do the actual "going out" and "meeting" parts.

Actually, I'm not quite as hopeless as I'm making out, although I
probably should make more effort than I do. I'm sure I used to like
meeting people and making new friends once.