Who does Champ think I am..?

His fucking secretary or something?

Update from the island as of 10 minutes ago. He thinks his first
practice lap today was fractionally faster but he's currently sitting
in pub, with money a marshall gave him, 3 miles from the end of the
course waiting for it to be opened so Alex can come and pick up him
and the broken bike.

He's 99% certain it is a throttle cable problem that can be quickly
fixed.

True to Mr Champion form the start of the conversation went something
like this

<muffled pub noises>

Hello, I'm in a pub.

Me. Yes I can hear that.

I'm waiting for Alex to come and get me, I'm bored.

Me. So how do you expect me to relieve the boredom?

I suppose phone sex is out of the question....

 

I think a Fucking Secretary is exactly the position he's advertising for.
Check if you get dental.

 

What do I look like? A Fucking Secretary?

 

I was leaning more towards the "or something."

Or a dumpy bird with a complex. But I've never met her, so what do I
know?

 

cheque if you get dental.

ouzo talking!