When love goes wrong

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&?ViewItem&item=7927433876

 

IM taking a look at my self, missus told me she loves bikes, she owns a bike
she has not riden in 6 months, we are now planning our marrage!

Dear god what have i got my self into...

and i thought booking my marrage same day as PI GP was a hint...

 

In aus.motorcycles on Wed, 13 Oct 2004 06:48:58 GMT

Serves you right for not encouraging her to go for a ride with you and
asking what you can do to make it fun for her.

Hell, bet you don't even wash it for her!

Zebee

 

and I bet he doesnt wash the bike either

mh

 

Johnnie5 said....

I thought that it would've been a link to that fellow who was flogging
is ex's wedding dress (there were photos of him modelling it).

This one's along the same lines, but nowhere near as funny....

 

Gone now.

:-(

 

ah found it in the cache for ya


This Helmet is like brand new. I bought it for my wife, but it's to small
for her big fat head.You know, it was all a big lie right from the
beginning. I asked her if she liked bikes, (i've been riding since i was 9
years old.) She's like "Yeah, I love Motorcycles, they're great!" Now, i'm
thinking to myself, this chicks cool, she's hot, has big boobs, and loves
motorcycles. I gotta snag this one up quick.Little did i know that as soon
as i gave her the engagement ring, all that would change. First, it was a
subtle hint, you know, that the wedding's going to be expensive, and that
that band costs just as much as my motorcycle. With all these wedding plans
going on, i hardly have time to ride my bike. I'm schleping all over the
state looking at reception halls, listening to cheesy wedding bands, and
picking out floral arrangements. She brings up the fact that i havn't ridden
my bike in a while now, (No kidding!! She won't let me out of her sight for
more than 5 minutes!) and that maybe i should sell it. Now, that brings a
whole lot of tension into the situation. I'm like no way! Then i notice that
our sex life has reduced dramatically. A man has gotta do, what he's gotta
do, so, i sell the bike, thinking that things will get better. She promises
me, that as soon as we get married, she'll get a good job, and then i can
get another bike. We get married, and we're having sex everyday. Life is
good. The Evil One is looking for work for like, 6 months. I find it hard to
believe that she can't find a damn job, but who am i to say? She's just
holding out for that Management position she says. To be quite honest, i
really don't care, she's cleaning my pipes better than Roto Rooter. Then the
kicker...She tells me she's pregnant. All the while i thought she was on the
pill! I ask her how this happened, and she said the pill gave her facial
hair. (I really couldn't see a difference, after all she is Italian). Fast
Foward 9 months...i'm out breaking my back doing manual labor, she's a big,
fat, hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition of a rabid Pit Bull.
Nothing i say, or do is good enough for her. The day she gave birth, i
thought again, that things will change for the better. WRONG!! Now
everythings about the baby. Me, i'm second fiddle. Sex life? Ha! The only
time i get some action is when i see her breast feeding the little bastard!
I'm going crazy, at least if i had a motorcycle, i could take out some of my
frustration. Even the guys at work notice how miserable i've been. One day,
my partner rolls up on a brand new bike. I wanted to commit suicide. He
knows how bad i wanted another bike. He see's the look in my eye, and asks
me if i would like to take it out for a spin Friday night. It was truly the
first time i lit up since marrying that bitch. Friday rolls around, i cash
my check, and head on over to my partners house. I cruise around for a
while, and end up at this little bar on the edge of town. I head up to the
bar, place my helmet on it, and order a beer. I look over and see this
little hottie chatting it up with her friends. I notice that the eye contact
is getting more and more frequent. After a few more minutes, she walks over
to me and tells me she just loves motorcycles. That they get her "excited".
I ask her if she wants to go for a ride. Her beautifully full lips widen
with a pearly white smile. I take that as a yes. I grab her by the hand, and
lead her to the bike. She straps on the spare helmet that was on the bike,
and away we go. We ride for hours. She taps me on the shoulder, and tells me
her apartment is on the next block. Would i want to stop in for a while and
have another beer. Who am i to say no? I watch her lead the way, and i can't
keep my eyes off of her tight lil' behind. I think back to the days when old
hippo ass looked like this. Well, once upstairs, one beer turned into two,
and so on. The next thing i know, i'm in bed with her, and she was amazing!
It was the best expierence i have ever had. Right then i had an epiphany. I
had to be happy. I wasn't going to live a miserable existance for the rest
of my life and something had to be done. Long story short, i left my hairy
beast of a wife. (She's done good since i left. She remarried an Appliance
salesman named Harold.) While i was moving out, i came across the helmet. I
don't ever want to be reminded of my miserable past life, so please, make a
bid. I have a motorcycle payment to make! The helmet has no scratches, size
MED and i would rate it a 9 out of 10 Winning bidder to Pay with PAYPAL
ONLY. Winning Bidder to pay all Shipping costs. I ship UPS ONLY. No Zero or
Negative Feedback Bidders.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Oct-12-04 at 15:24:25 PDT, seller added the following information:

Ok guys, First off, i gotta thank everyone for the great Emails. (Especially
the Hotties sending me Topless pics. BTW, i never get tired of that!) I
gotta get some things out here. ****** This is a no joke auction, so please,
don't bid unless your gonna buy the helmet. I really need the money, and i
don't think its fair to the people who really want to bid on this.
Thnaks!***** Ok, some concerns have been brought up to me in a few of my
emails. FIRST! Let me state that this helmet is not CURSED! I have brought
in a Poltergeist to "cleanse" the Helmet. I assure you that their will be no
left over "Bitch" residue in the helmet when the winning bidder recieves
it.I also had the helmet INFRARED SCANNED for cooties, and it passed with
flying colors. You have my word as a human being. I would never subject
anyone to the hell i went through. SECOND! Many of you have asked for pics
of the Ex. Come on now People! Do you REALLY expect me to have any pics of
her. I damn near wanted to drink a gallon of Bleach just to clean my mouth
out cause i remeber having to kiss her goodnight! If you need a visual,
Halloween is coming soon. When the little grubby bastards come trick or
treating with there scary masks, times it by 100, and you still won't be
close to the UG-LEE-NESS of that Wildebeast. Again, it's been friggin' fun.
Mikey Buell

 

Hahaha... oh, shit!

 

More suitable title might be "When lust goes wrong"

David

 

Laughed so much you shit yourself?

 

Ta. Very much appreciated.

What a pisser!!!

 

im suspecting something when she books the wedding for 15/10/05, told im not
allowed to watch tv.

Gosh what else is on that has an add of a wedding on a race track about that
time!

 

"SmeeR11S" asked...

Twice!