What an odd start to my working day

This morning my first call was to a house in St Neots, Cambs, where I
had to check out loft insulation for a charming young lady. I heard the
shower going upstairs as I went up there, and pointed out the glass
window above the bathroom door and said I'd wait until her gorgeous 19
year old daughter was done and then go up into the loft and check it
out. All fine, job done and leave.

Next job was in St Ives, just up the road - another loft. Up the stairs
I went, bathroom is quiet, and the door is slightly ajar... "fine"
thought I. Extend my flash collapible ladder, shunt the hatch out of
the way and climb up. As I'm going up the ladder I catch sight of
something through the little glass panel above the bathroom door and
drop my eyes as I climb, to be met with the sight of the fattest,
ugliest monster teenage female I have ever seen naked laying in the
bath.

There are days I wish I was deaf and didn't hear showers going.

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer
Fireblade 929 (For sale)
CBR600F-W trackbike
SR250 SpazzTrakka,
SR250 wivva topbox
TS250C
RD400F, somewhere
I see a bright new future, where chickens can cross the road with no
fear of having their motives questioned

 

Never mind that. Your satnav is fucked.

Still, if you meet that **** with seven wives, tell him he still owes me
a fiver.

 

Not if you're looking for St Ives in Cambridgeshire

Will do, Captain.



--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer
Fireblade 929 (For sale)
CBR600F-W trackbike
SR250 SpazzTrakka,
SR250 wivva topbox
TS250C
RD400F, somewhere
I see a bright new future, where chickens can cross the road with no
fear of having their motives questioned

 

Bear wrote:

Soon, I'm working on it during the weekend in between trackdays and
shit. Not happy about the charging system, so trying to suss that out.
Also waiting on backordered Ventura bits. I also have a celebration to
attend as my son was 16 today, so at some point over the weekend me and
him will be getting shitfaced together.


--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer
Fireblade 929 (For sale)
CBR600F-W trackbike
SR250 SpazzTrakka,
SR250 wivva topbox
TS250C
RD400F, somewhere
I see a bright new future, where chickens can cross the road with no
fear of having their motives questioned

 

Talking of ventura bits, do you have an inside track on where you can
get the Ventura side rails cheaper than the £90-odd RRP ?

I've seen them down to £85, but it's still a mint for 2 bent tubes.

Cheers,

Paul.

 

If the pair of you are getting shitfaced for his 16th, what does that
leave for his 18th? Surely you should be stumping up for a hooker for
this one instead and doing the shitfaced thing for his 18th?

 

Nah, kids grow up quicker these days, he had the hooker at 14.[1]

Was sat with him, his mum and sister last night when Gina pipes up with
"you can legally have hardcore sex now", he was all "yeah, yeah, I can
now", so I calmed things down by telling him he shouldn't really, and
lots of softcore sex would be a better idea. His mum was less than
impressed with me.

[1] I tried, but his mum vetoed that idea

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer
Fireblade 929 (For sale)
CBR600F-W trackbike
SR250 SpazzTrakka,
SR250 wivva topbox
TS250C
RD400F, somewhere
I see a bright new future, where chickens can cross the road with no
fear of having their motives questioned

 

Some people have this thing against incest, you know.

 

I won't show Jane[1] this, she'd have your bollocks for doorstops.

[1] All 5 foot of her, but **** me, can she get angry

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer
Fireblade 929 (For sale)
CBR600F-W trackbike
SR250 SpazzTrakka,
SR250 wivva topbox
TS250C
RD400F, somewhere
I see a bright new future, where chickens can cross the road with no
fear of having their motives questioned