What a week... part two the 'breakdown'

And, then, to continue... On my way home from work Friday night, late,
left the office at 11:30pm (which I haven't done for months).

The M4 is stationary as I pass over it so I decide to follow B roads.
I'm on a tiny B road coming into a place called "Baydon" near Swindon,
the rear of the bike starts to wobble and I think "****, it's a flat
tyre". I soldier on for about 1/4 of a mile to a village where it's
safe to pull in. Almost fall off when I slow down, the wobble becomes
so fierce. Stop and look...

SHIT.. THE FUCKING REAR WHEEL IS LOOSE ON THE HUB.

Bollocks. It's now 11:45 and I don't have any tools. Burn my hand on
the exhaust tightening the nuts by hand (it's a BMW K, the rear wheel is
held on by four bolts which pull the wheel onto the hub). Try to flag
down a passing car, **** drives past me. Wanker.

I struggle on for three miles, stopping twice to tighten the rear wheel.
It's not looking good. I don't even know the road number (I don't think
there is one...) so can't call out the AA. I see a pub with lights on,
hope someone's there. Look through windows, see nothing. It's 12:15.

About to struggle on and I spot a glimmer outside a house... it's a
motorbike! Go and look closer, there are *two* bikes outside the house.

Swallow and knock on the door. Big bloke answers door after a couple of
minutes in his dressing gown... I explain my predicament and he's
helpful. Very helpful.

After 20 minutes I've tightened the wheel onto the hub and have yacked
away for a bit over a coffee. I'm very grateful. It transpires we both
work for telecoms companies. What a small world.


I'm worried about part three to be honest.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, belched forth and ejected the following:

"The fire"

 

heh. The K100 is leaking petrol somewhere to be honest and it doesn't
seem to have been completely fixed by replacing sealing o-rings in the
injection system.

Garage fire. Gulp. counts... six bikes including son's. 30 years of
tool collection, vast array of SOB spares. It's all irreplaceable you
know.

Compulsive types would say it's a fucking disgraceful mess...

 

This is why I'm picking up an in-line fuel tap for the Z650 in 15
minutes.

The same, except it's five bikes (no room for numbers six and seven and
they're outside, under tarpaulins).

Others, like myself (and, I daresay, Champ and YTC), would nod
approvingly.

 

(The Older Gentleman) wrote in

Actually.. I was thinking of Champ who's commented recently on the mess
that is my garage.

I must hire a skip and fill it. Note, this isn't a feedline for Lozzo
suggesting I chuck a bunch of bavarian pig-iron in it; I'm rather fond
of the K Series and fully expect to continue with them for some years
yet.

I've never had a K1100RS, K100RS or a K1 so I suspect I'll pick those up
at some point in the future. There's also the K1200 range to think
about but I think they've lost it somewhat in the 'hard as nails 100k+
stakes'.

I suppose I ought to decide whether to keep the K100RT or the K75RT but
I feel when running shite-old-bikes you need options for when one's
being stripped down and repaired, there's no way I'm using the K1100LT
or ZXR750 in the winter (ignoring the fact the ZXR's not working atm).

 

<gets new posts>

Ah. Here it is. Even if they come in threes, the third should have a
poitn of uncertainty and a happy ending. Live dangerously for a change.

 

Ooh, a K75RT you say.

Mileage and condition please ?

jpeg too.

<fx: pushes wifes Morris Traveller even further back into garage and
looks approvingly at bike shaped space>

 

I think you're just preparing to take on a Harley Davidson.

I find it hard to believe anyone would use the word anal when gay offers
a much better description.

 

I've got one of those too - which is why I can't get the blackbird
inside atm.

Two cans of garage floor paint have sat on the bench for over a year,
the tools, tubs, and various lubricants, solvents, etc, are scattered
hither and thither, the lawnmower is on the bike lift.

That all sounds familiar, though.
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/CBX1000Z
|_\_____/_| ..87753../..22653.../..31893.
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 WG*
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 PM#5
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4 YTC#4 two#11
'^' RBR Clues: 84 Pts:1800 Miles:5704

 

I was thinking about the K1.
The front mudguard is an abortion but the RT/RS one fits straight on and
looks fine. You will find some *horrible* rusty bracketry under the original
BTW.
If you can find a spare ECU somewhere at reasonable money and squirrle it
away, budget for immediately replacing the fork springs and shock and do not
buy a red/yellow one then it it actually a decent bike. The fairing is
excellent even though the plastic is rather crap.

Thing is though Burnt, the K1100RS is just a far better bike in every
respect IMHO.

 

You are an utter UTTER fucking disgrace man. A pathetic excuse for a BMW
owner. The primary aspect of ownership, the one great redeeming factor, is
the pleasure and functionality of carring the absolutely excellent OEM
toolkit.

An essential responsibility of K ownership is having a large cheap throw
away torque wrench left permanently ratcheted up to 106NM, 78FT/lbs. I have
an old Britool one which was used exclusively for the porpoise.

Really this is just too much. It would have been better had you been
mysteriously thrown under the wheels of an HGV and killed instantly, with
the bike being crushed beyond recognition. None of the rest of us is going
to be able to bear Lozzo's crowing for the rest of our lives.

It's great to meet people like this, innit.

 

*snort*

I finished with a rather lovely young strumpet, known to Champ, due to her
predilection for fucking blokes with sodding great dildos bolted up to a
fetish harness. It had a variety of "additions" in varying sizes up to a
porn star replica casting in pink latex (1). Guys had flown over from the
States just to get this treatment. All she ever got from me was an impolite
"**** right of bitch" and the very real threat of a broken face (one has to
reinforce one's position at all times y'know). I think Champ might just have
been her perfect little bitch though.

(1) this item was admittedly rather useful in her correct submissive
position, for viciously double ending her

 

Oi, ****, it's a new bike to me and an ex-plod one. It doesn't have a
toolkit in it 'cos I haven't yet fitted the rear plastics to hold the
toolkit... or sourced the toolkit yet. But, it will happen in the next
couple of weeks.

Oh, **** that, it's not a job for a torque wrench. I just use a normal
1/2" ratchet. Mind you I prolly put something around that through it at
a guess.

Lozzo's crowing? This isn't a BMW design limitation, it's an indication
of my stupidity; I didn't wanna tighten it up when on my bike bench
since it isn't completely stable; at least not for the torque I wanted
to use.

Yes.

 

I phrased badly. If I out a bike it would be the K100, not the 75. The
75 is a new addition to my stable.

In reality I won't out either. If I fix the fuel leak on the 100 (it's
not enough to stop me riding it) and sell it, because it's got 117k on
it I'll get what, 700 quid? Especially when I take the luggage, heated
grips, fuel and oil gauges off...

I think the spare bike is worth it for me so I've got something I can
use when I want to be lazy about sorting out things on the 75.

So, no, nothing for sale. Soz.

 

I say "closet baker".

 

From my experience K75x & K100x good, Kanythingelse bad. Though maybe a
base K100 or K75 might be a tad sad.

So where were we? K75C/K75S splendid. K100RS pretty good. K100RT a bit
bloaty but acceptable. K75RT not as good as it should have been.

K1? Oh go on then, as long as it has the alternative rear bodywork &
touring luggage.

K1100 series. Like fighting blancmange.

K1200 series. Competent, as juggernauts go.

 

says...

It's a fucking disgraceful mess.


--
Lozzo
Triumph Daytona 955i SE (Black with added black bits)
GSF600SW (broked)
'I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking.
But I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they
are still going.' William Norman Birkett, 1st Baron Birkett, Oct 1960.

 

Champ says...

I like the sound of this garage of yours. It's just my kind of thing.

--
Lozzo
Triumph Daytona 955i SE (Black with added black bits)
GSF600SW (broked)
'I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking.
But I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they
are still going.' William Norman Birkett, 1st Baron Birkett, Oct 1960.

 

says...

We can all make mistakes. Thankfully this was on your own bike, so you
hadn't put anyone else in immediate danger.

--
Lozzo
Triumph Daytona 955i SE (Black with added black bits)
GSF600SW (broked)
'I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking.
But I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they
are still going.' William Norman Birkett, 1st Baron Birkett, Oct 1960.

 

Every time that Cheryl moans that her Morris 1000 has to sit on the
drive while my bike is in the garage I point out a) the relative values
and b) no-one would ever want to steal her car.

Eventually I get let back into the house..

Phil