Well it made me larf...

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's
good)......................... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.

 

I like the story of Roy Rogers, who strolled into town, dressed in his
new duds, fringed jacket, Stetson, cowboy boots, etc, and this puma came
screaming down Main Street and sank its teeth and claws into his boots,
ripping them to shreds.

And then fucked off.

"A hundred bucks for whoever kills that cat!" screamed Roy, staring at
the wreckage of his footwear.

Business being quiet, three posses formed and off they went, but one by
one, trailed back empty-handed.

And then. as the sun was going down, in rode the Lone Ranger, with the
dead puma slung over the back of his horse. And he rode slowly up to
Roy, dismounted, heaved the puma off the horse, flung it at his feet,
and said....

and said....

"Pardon me, Roy. Is this the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

 

Two atoms walking down the street bump into each other

Atom-1: "Shit! Are you alright?"
Atom-2: "No, I think I've lost an electron."
Atom-1: "You positive?"

 

steve auvache wrote:

<thud>

 

<>Baffled>

"Pardon me, Al Capone. Is this the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

You're not a poet, are you?

 

Allow me.

Rope you are a thick ****. The original line in the song upon which the
pun is based is "pardon me boy". If it had been "pardon me gal" then
you could have been right but as it is you aren't but I am sure that one
of your fans will point out that yours is the funniest post in the
thread and for reasons entirely different to those posted by the rest of
us.

 

<Light dawns>

You're saying he's a thick ****! Ah!

 

I had to google to work out wtf the punchline was all about.

 

You've been trying to work it out for two weeks? Sheesh, Og, you need
your brain re-booted.

 

He's young, probably doesn't even know who Marilyn Monroe was.

 

Still working my way through all the tripe posted while I was away -
some of us have better things to do on holiday than trawl Usenet!

Even I'm not going to contest that point, however.

 

You could just pause it, reboot the host OS and then unpause it..

Phil.