Website pedants

*applause*

Bloody hell, you were on form last night!

 

the main logo is horribly stretched and pixellated.

 

He certainly was.

 

Get a proper petrol mower like this:

http://i704.photobucket.com/albums/ww43/jimukrm/mower.jpg

No cable, no grass box. You just hammer it round in circles until you're
bored of walking.

 

And are the ear defenders optional?

 

Walking? What is this walking of which you speak? Clearly, you need
one of these
http://www.husqvarna.com/fr/homeowner/products/garden-tractors/cth200-twin/

 

**** that, if I want to drive around I have an FE35 with a monster
topper attached to it.

 

It's a noisy beast. It's also a bastard to start when hot, so when
people come up and try to have conversations with you, it's perfectly
acceptable to keeping yelling "Whaaat?" at them until they go away and
stop bothering you.

 

culchie.

 

Pfft. When I feel the need to intimidate my country estae, I pull a
mower similar to this one out of the shed:

http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/2/9/7/4/1/7/webimg/395411061_o.jpg

It even does killswitch backfires.

IWT this would be more your speed these days:

http://bartblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/riding-mower.jpg

 

Oh dear. I actually really like that!

 

or better still one of these:-
http://www.gardenmachinesltd.co.uk/...-lawnmower--2-free-annual-services-1110-p.asp

 

That'll do the hob.

It'd be faster than the power one, as it goes, which has a top speed,
limited by gearing and a vacuum=controlled throttle, of about 5mph.
And that's after I've tweaked the throttle mech as much as I dare.

 

Looked at those when I replaced ours a couple of years ago, but they
have no facility to collect the trimmings, and can't easily tow a
trailer. More aimed at your park-keeper than for home use.

 

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They don't collect trimmings true, but mine has a tow bar.

 

I have fond memories of you trying to get a wheelie out of your
then-current ride-on mower, so throttle tweaking comes as no surprise.
It's all about safety these days, and vacuum-controlled throttles are
the devil's work. You'd need to rip it out and replace it with a
proper manual cable and linkage to get full juice.

My antique Webb, OTOH, has an equally antique throttle control,
consisting of a chromed thumb-operated lever on a quadrant - no
deadman's handle or nuffink. Once the thing is running, the only way
to stop it is to press the button that grounds the sparks - hence the
KSB potential. Half throttle is a rapid walk, full throttle is faster
than I'd care to run.

WUN came round one day when I had it out (f'naar) when we lived in
Greenfield and had an enormous grassed garden. He (unsurprisingly)
adored the beast and amused us all hrtling round the grass, trying to
keep up with it and pulling KSBs until his ears could take no more and
the garden was full of smoke. Ah, happy days.

 

My folks moved into a house in the 80's that had one of those in the
shed. Marvellous machine made in 1927 but was then still working perfectly.

 

You should have been there. You'd have loved it and wanted a go, to
boot.

 

I've really never understood why lawnmowers are fitted with such sorry
excuses for silencers. Making something just slightly better than a
pepperpot is hardly going to cost a fortune.

Heh.