Warning to mankind

**** me, you must be the only man in the world who can do this. What's
your secret?

 

Lizard-like aliens masquerading in human form, featuring the bloke who plays
Freddie Kreuger are going to land on Saturday and eat guinea pigs whole?

Cool!

Just make sure you've got a nice 80s haircut and access to some automatic
weapons and we *can* defeat the alien fascist invaders......

Or do I have the wrong 'V'......?

Dave

 

ARRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!

I'm doomed! Doomed, I tell you!

Phil

--
Phil Launchbury, Network & Infrastructure PHB
Triumph Tiger 955i
"I'm training the bats who live in my cubicle
to juggle mushrooms"
Remove sick person to email me

 

True - those plastic "toys" will last a long time - what
with not being biodegradable and all..

Wot me? I'm the very soul of moderation..

/me points to job title. Especially the bit that says "Infrastructure
and Network Manager"..

Indeed. Now where did I put that paraquat?

Phil

--
Phil Launchbury, Network & Infrastructure PHB
Triumph Tiger 955i
"I'm training the bats who live in my cubicle
to juggle mushrooms"
Remove sick person to email me

 

It's a little practiced technique of:

1) Asking what she wants
2) Buying
3) Wrapping it up
4) Presenting at the correct time [1]

[1] Actually thats bollox, I just buy her diamonds and flowers.

--
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Dishwasher

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We do that too, actually (mostly, we tend to give each other presents
through the course fo the day) I *love* cooking.

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The 'toys' are made out of rubber ITYF

Thinks. Pretty sure I didn't buy SWMBO much made of plastic. Her MP3
player was about it

ahhh, Ooops?

Here, have some of mine

--
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..... from a safe distance?

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Bollocks. Now I know that either a) you're lying through your teeth or
b) You're married to a bloke.

Well the former would probably work, but might get a bit boring after
a few years, unless she just flogs them and pockets the cash. Flowers
are not generally seen as a luxury in our house...

 

Which bit makes you think that?

They're not in ours either, but they are things we buy for a change
IYSWIM

--
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www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

Don't worry - I'm only a techie in managers clothing. I haven't
even had the lobotomy yet..

Phil

--
Phil Launchbury, Network & Infrastructure PHB
Triumph Tiger 955i
"I'm training the bats who live in my cubicle
to juggle mushrooms"
Remove sick person to email me

 

No _real_ woman would ever give a straight answer to the first
question. Even if she did, she'd obviously expect something else as
well, as it wouldn't be a surprise.

If your experience is different, it leads me to think that you SO is
not, in fact, a woman at all.

 

#Their bottoms are made out of springs
#They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
#Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!

 

Ahh right I see. So when she comments that she'd quite like a
portable radio for xmas, and I buy her a MP3 player with, I'm scoring
double?

Or vice versa

Has to be said, she likes fast cars and stereo

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sounds like *she* should be in the dog house!

Andy, why not get a single person to babysit all 3 kids, and whisk
SWMBO off for a romantic night out?

You might get a shag out of it...

 

I'm not average.

It's not Christmas - I don't think I've ever given a Valentine's gift,
tho I've sent flowers many times. And I don't care what anyone says,
most women like to recieve flowers.

You see problems, I see opportunities...

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Ace

Christ, but you must know some fucked-up women. All you have to do is
listen. They'll tell you what they want. Honestly. They won't (often)
point at something and say "buy me that for my birthday / valentines /
crimble", but they will let you know.

And I'm with Champ on the flowers question. I send my missus flowers
often. Always for no reason, and *always* to work. All of her staff are
insanely jealous and she feels ten feet tall when they arrive.

It's really not that hard.

 

*dung*

 

Don't do it to work. Getting the bloody things home on the tube is un-funny

I tend to agree
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