Useful very dead battery trick

Went to start the Ducati this morning - zilch, nada, nothing doing. I
guessed that I might have inadvertently turned to the "park" position last
time I removed the key and the lights had drained the battery. A stupid
fucking design fault that has tripped me up sooner or later on every bike
that I've owned with this feature. Usually I notice when I am walking away
but not this time apparently. Anyway - no problem I thought, just hook it
up to the optimate via the lead already attached to the battery and go out
on the v-strom instead.

Optimate says "no". There then follows 15 minutes of fairing wrestling to
get the battery out. The oximiser in my spare room then also says "no", car
battery charger also says "no". I check the voltage across the battery
terminals which turns out to be all of 0.3v. Not good. Suddenly I have a
brainwave - I dig out an old spare battery that still has a reasonable state
of charge. I connect this in parallel with the fucked Ducati battery and
then apply the oximiser. Left it for 10 minutes or so then removed the old
spare battery and the Duc battery is now charging successfully. Result!

 

I've used this trick ever since the chargers got too clever for their own
good.

In the old days it was sufficient to hook a bulb in parallel with the "dead"
battery, so the charger would see some load and not just an open circuit.

 

How is this a design fault?
--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

Of course, if you had a sensible traditional trickle charger without all
the eeelecbollocks in it, you wouldn't have a problem charging an
utterly flat one up.

 

What else would it be? Somebody designed it, it didn't fall off a tree,
and it's prone to being left on accidentally - faulty design. Nul
points.

 

Hmm, in interesting interpretation.

You don't think there's an element of user error involved, at all?

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

IMO It is the job of a designer to make things not only work, but,
work in such a way that success is ensured.

Remember floppy discs? Remember how they only go into the drive the
correct way? That's a 'poke yoke' design - it has been designed in a
way that is 'mistake proof'. CD's and DVD's are a step back in this
regard, as they can be inserted incorrectly.

 

In the old days it was sufficient to connect a battery charger to the battery.
You must be referring to the good recent days.

 

That would be sensible, indeed.

Cars have an audio warning on *parking* lights? Must be really annoying
for anyone you park next to.

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

Would you like to bet on that? I mean *really*?

Indeed. Self correcting though, as it won't function, of course, and
fails safe.
--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

We shall see - it hadn't been like that for long. Currently (pun intended)
its up to yellow on the oximiser so with a bit of luck it will be green
tomorrow.

 

Because there is very little movement between the "lock" position and the
"park" position, making it very easy to leave parking lights on
accidentally. My v-strom is similar as are many bikes. If the "park
position required the key to be moved a further 90 degrees, or better still
if there was a secondary switch in addition to the "park" position, then
much grief could be avoided.

 

I didn't think it would be an original idea, I was just pleased to have
worked it out for myself.

 

And this was the same on all your other bikes? Bad luck, old chap. The
Sprint needs (IIRC) about 50 degs.

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

I really doubt that leaving the parking lights on will fry the ECU.
Leaving the ignition on, OTOH.

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

All depends on how you connect up the battery when jump starting the
bike the next morning... or so I'm reliably informed

 

Thus demonstrating the difference between good and faulty design...

 

Oh *yes*. Forgot that bit.

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

Green light!

 

*phew*

I was on the edge of my seat.