Tog Tour 2009

I love it when it works

 

Did you ever! I thought you were taking the piss when you
stopped at the junction and got your map out, right in
front of the roadsign that was marked in foot-high letters.

 

I wasn't. He'd done it several times on the way down, despite having a
clear set of directions that said things like "At Grinchy, 2nd left on
D924 for Thingville (Rue de haute)"

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, ogden

You "map" chaps miss out entirely on one of the minor joys of life,
which is the GPS Doris's attempts to pronounce French street names.

"Turn right into the roo dee lyle."
"Take the third exit to the booly vard peri fur ee cue."

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "He's hopeless, but he's honest"

I have already made the greatest contribution to the fight against climate
change that I can make: I have decided not to breed. Now quit bugging me and
go and talk to the Catholics.

 

Northern lass?

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, platypus

Heh.

<bitter experience mode>

No, she has an "off" button.

</bem>

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "He's hopeless, but he's honest"

I have already made the greatest contribution to the fight against climate
change that I can make: I have decided not to breed. Now quit bugging me and
go and talk to the Catholics.

 

hah. I wasn't even talking about that one, which was more a failure
of imagination ("I need to change the map, so I'll stop here where's
there's a place. There's no reason to look for any signs first at
that junction over there, obviously").

I was talking about on the ride out, where, despite frantically
scanning the 27 signs on the corner in tehe village, I only saw the
one I wanted as I rolled round the corner.

 

AOL. It was a very enjoyable trip once again and I'm already looking
forward to next year.

Friday: I left home a bit later than planned so was the last to board
the ferry. On the plus side, I missed the closure of the M25 - it must
have opened minutes before I got to the front, having filtered for a
few miles and having to dodge the people wandering around in lane 2.5.
frag actually arrived later than me but boarded first as he hadn't
taken off his lid & jacket. Had a Stella for brunch!

Much (well, a bit ) decision changing on which route to take: scenic or
quick. I chose the latter mainly because I wasn't sure how my back
would hold up after 3 hours of interesting route with another 3 hours
to do. At least I got to see the Eiffel Tower. I was riding with Vass
& Mrs. Vass for a bit but they peeled off into some services so I did
most of it solo. Definitely a bit^h^h^h very boring, but of those on
the 10.20 ferry, I was first to get to the hotel. Woo hoo!

OK - this is getting wordy, so I'll try to keep it briefer now:

Beers were drunk, food was eaten, wine was drunk (thanks for choosing a
nice one WUN!), more beer was drunk and I had a fairly early night.
Even Champ outlasted me FFS!

Saturday: not much of a hangover (unusual for me on a TOG Tour) so
breakfast, wander round the town markets & church, lovely rideout for
lunch on the Loire, good thrash back. More beer, great food again,
another nice wine, more beer. On promising myself not to mix
beer/wine/more beer and to be in bed by midnight - FAIL.

Sunday: a bit hungover, so the plan to leave by 10 didn't quite
materialise but I was on the road by 10.15. Most people had left so I
schlepped up the autoroute solo again, bumping into frag at the
services. A final fuel stop (of seven in total) in Calais and it was a
lot quieter on the ferry back. Most were engrossed in the Tom & Jerry
cartoons. An hour and a half back from Dover for a bath and a proper
beer (Bombardier).

I was on mile 351 (of 358) for the day, just coming up to jct 3 of the
M3 when Champ went past me (again). I had a bit of a WTF! moment but
remembered it's probably as good a route for getting to the M4 from the
M25.

So once again, thanks a lot TOG. Here's to the next one.

 

No, I hadn't stopped. I'd just pootled between 80-90 all the way, so
you must have got some way ahead. I was too knackered to push on too
hard.

 

I was too knackered to do anything but be knackered.

I was losing the ability to continue to live, so bailed off the M25 for
the A10, being the first of the 'primary routes' homewards. Found a
nice shop with a lovely cold bottle of invigorating pop - and an alley
to wee in, then the rest of the A10 was much more pleasant.

Made the final fuel and fag stop at Buntingford, then the last leg down
the good old A507 was an absolute joy(1) - home turf, empty road in the
sunshine and a glorious end to a fine weekend.


1. I'd been suffering a blast of air up the inside of the visor,
causing dry eyeballs, since Calais -120. Finally sorted at Buntingford
when I cleaned the visor and found it was partially un-located and not
sealing properly around the base. Fuckwittery.

 

Seconded.

I particularly enjoyed following Hogs essential guide to biking in
France which has the following words engraved in gold on the front
"Let's see just how many French laws we can break today".

The road to Angerville was a bit of a misnomer. Was extremely happy to
have found the road both on the way to Pithiviers and again on the
return leg.

 

Is that why part of Ware town centre is being dug-up?

 

[snip]

Is that seven stops on the way from the hotel to Calais or the whole
round trip?

 

Where? Oh, there.

No, Shirley not. Ulp.

 

Total.

Outbound: Bracknell, Dover, one somewhere on an autoroute about halfway.
Saturday: two during the rideout to Gien and back.
Sunday: two, one on the autoroute, one in Calais.

 

Ah good, for a moment I was being blonde.

 

<considers fuel stops, loses count>

Still, I avoided being a petrol muppet...just.

 

Funny you should ask that.

 

Indeedy. We probably had the longest weekend. Set off early Thursday
p.m., ferry with Bonwicks and Smiths (and Mrs Wilson) to Caen, then
most of Friday with friends in Le Bec-Hellouin (Normandy at its
absolute best), Saturday cruising with the Wellers and Vass's, Sunday
meandering up the Orne (more classic Normandy) and Monday doing the
D-Day beaches. Thanks to Niall for the suggestion of Arromanche.

The return home today was delayed a little by needing to have a new
rear tyre fitted in Portsmouth. Thank you, ADT.

 

Heh. Got that when arriving in Landrecies on the Chimay run:

"Turn right into plaice der leg lies"