They're having a laugh

Apparently my presence is required for jury service from the 6th
September.

The bunch of lousy fucking bastards must be having a laugh. I'll still
be busy trying to make sure the cunts don't hold trials by candle
light when that starts and to make it worse I'm expected to go to
fucking Luton to do it.

The only plus side is that if I decide not to try and get it deferred
it might still be fairly warm and I get two weeks of going home every
night. They're still a bunch of cunts and if I get a case where
somebody has kicked **** out of a copper they're innocent no matter
what the evidence says.

 

Heh, I hope the defence prints & saves!

Can't you claim National Interest anyway, to be exempted.

 

You have my deepest sympathy. I bloody hated doing jury service.

It would be amusing to see you as the spokesperson for the jury.

"have the jury reached a decision on which you are all agreed"

"**** knows".

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh do **** off, wiggy **** bollocks"

etc etc.

 

The first thing I'll do is tell them I suffer from Tourette's Syndrome
and they can all **** off.

 

<VVBG>

Wouldn't it be great if Nige was called up for the same jury?

 

You and I might consider it great but I'm not sure what the judge would
call it.

 

It deep ends.
A bloke i know ended up on the jury for a fraud case that lasted 4 months.
OTOH, you could just sit around for a few days and be told to bugger off
home.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique,
typed

In fairness, if I were guilty, I'd want you on the jury.

If I were innocent, not so much.

 

Not sure about there, but on this side of the pond, prospective jurors
go through "voir dire" where you have the opportunity to demonstrate
your unsuitability for jury service. (Within the bounds of contempt of
court, of course.) IME, people really have to want to serve to be
chosen. Of course, you still have to go, sit around, and wait for your
name to be called.

 

It's your duty.

Get yourself the foreman's job. It's much more interesting. [1]

[1] Fucking twice I've been called and fucking twice I was elected to
foreman. It's crap.

 

A fucking well hung jury?

 

Lets no hope its a fraud case, they go on forever.

--


Nige,

'Candygram for Mongo'

R1