The List ... The Details ... Bike Number 5 (of 47)]

Based on the original fictional posting by Tim Morrow; nothing in this
submission is true in any sense of the word.

From "The List, 1978-2005", in approximate ownership order... About 47 bikes;
eight bought new. Who would believe THAT load of crap?

Featuring: 1978 Honda CB125S; bike number five:

Bought this bike new, for my wife, and now that I think back about it, we bought
and sold this bike before we moved to Rogers Drive, before we moved to Herndon,
and while we were still in the condo in Falls Church. So, just to illustrate
how hard it is to lie consistently and keep the story straight, even though this
tall tale is labeled Bike Number 5, it must actually be about bike number three,
after the KZ400 and the XS750F, but before the Honda CB750F. Geez, Louise.

Gee, no wonder Moto can't remember any of the years, makes, models, colors, or
other characteristics of any of the 78 motorcycles he has owned (or was it 117?)
over the years.

I've just *got* to stop insulting that guy - it's clear now that he's been
TRYING to tell the truth all along!

Back to the story. So, Kathy decides that riding a motorcycle is fun, much
funner than riding on the back, where some maniac in the front seat is apt to
get her killed (and in retrospect, a VERY good decision!) and we go back to
Cycles Arlington, where Fred Lutz is more than happy to sell us a shiny red
leftover '79 Honda CB125S for about $800 or $900 (which is close enough since
this is, after all, just an elaborate lie.)

Kathy rides, I ride, we're both happy. The End.

No, just kidding. I wouldn't want to get Moto's hopes up that I'd actually post
a brief, concise, to the point tall tale!

There were a few problems with this bike. For one, it was kick start only, and
for such a tiny motorcycle, it had a RIDICULOUSLY difficult kickstarting
procedure. Part of being a four stroke, and part of being just one cylinder,
but LORDY how it tried Kathy's patience!

Anyway, Kathy rides it to work, and I ride my XS750, and then one week we're
talking about going out of town for a couple of days of vacation, and we
suddenly realize we can't leave the motorcycles parked at the condo, or they'd
be vandalized (or worse) while we are gone. So, we call her folks, and they are
happy to let us leave the bikes parked in their back yard while we're gone.

Riding to their house, we get separated by a car between us. On the way down a
long hill towards an intersection with Route 7, we're passing these luxury
condominiums, when a Mercedes sedan pulls out of a sidestreet on the left,
directly in front of Kathy's path of travel. She hauls in on the brakes (lucky
for that mechanical front disk brake on the CB125!) and swerves to the gutter,
where she blows the horn at the guy. Amazingly, he hears the horn.
Unfortunately, it appears to A) piss him off, and B) make him determined to swat
Kathy and her motorcycle like a bothersome gnat.

Well, while this is going on, I'm honking at the car that's in front of me,
between Kathy and I, and motioning for the driver to pull over so that I can
pass and get up there to do something about the still developing situation. The
driver notices me, signals, and pulls off to the right side of the road. I zoom
past, just as the driver of the Merc tries for a third and final time to run
Kathy off the road. He's actually looking in his rear view mirror to see if
she's crashed, and instead sees me bearing down on him, high beam on, horn
blaring, and accelerating at, um, a respectable pace. Prudently, he takes off.
By the time we reach Route 7, he's hit 70mph a couple of times (this, on a 35mph
road).

The light is red at Route 7, and I start thinking about pulling this S.O.B. out
of the car when he stops. However, he doesn't stop, just slows down, sees that
no one is approaching on Route 7, and runs the light, turning left onto
westbound Route 7. I slow, look both ways, then take out after him. From prior
experience with Fairfax County cops and the hit-and-run driver that put me in
the hospital a year or so earlier, I know that I need a good look at this guy's
face to identify him to the cops, or they won't do a damn thing.

Eventually, he is blocked by traffic at a light further west on Route 7, and I
pull up beside him. I hammer on his window with my fist, and he looks over at
me. Bingo. I've got the look I need. I follow him for a little while longer,
then pull over, and write his license number down on my hand.

I meet Kathy back at her parent's house, and together we call the cops. Pretty
soon, a Fairfax County cruiser pulls up in front, and Kathy and I take a ride to
the local police substation. There, we file a report, and the officer then
drives us out to the house of the person to whom the Mercedes is registered. We
pull up in front of a very upscale house in Reston, and we wait in the cruiser
while the officer goes to the door and talks to the woman who answers her ring.
She comes back to the car with a framed family photo, containing the woman she'd
just spoken with, a man, and five cute kids. "Is this the man in the Mercedes?"
she asks me. It is. She takes the picture back to the woman, and returns to
the cruiser, and drives us back to Kathy's parents' house. The officer tells us
that the woman in the photo is his wife, and she didn't want to know what her
husband had done, only where he was and when it happened!

The first court date, the guy sends his wife to say that his father died and he
had to go to the funeral, so he couldn't be there. The judge rescheduled, and
told the guy's wife that he had to be there next time or have a lawyer represent
him, or he would be tried in his absence. When Kathy and I got home, I looked
the guy up in the phone book. Turns out he had two listings - a home number and
a professional office number. He's an orthodontist. So, I call his office (this
is the day of the first court date, when he is ostensibly out of town at his
fathers' funeral) and explain that I'm in town for a meeting, that one of the
bands on my braces has come loose, and could the doctor fit me in that afternoon
for an emergency appointment? Sure! No problem, the appointment was made.

The second court date, no defendant, no wife, and no lawyer. The judge has
apparently forgotten his warning to the wife from the first court date (this is
now a total of four days off work for Kathy and I, of course) and is ready to
reschedule AGAIN until the county attorney suggests that perhaps he (the judge)
might want to ask the Morrows about the first court date. I related the story
of my phone call to the defendant's orthodontic office, and the judge grows
visibly angry. He declares that the defendant will be tried in his absence, and
asks first Kathy and then I to relate what happened. He then calls the Fairfax
County police officer who took our statements and drove us out to make the
identification, and she relates her story. The judge then found the guy guilty
of reckless driving and reckless endangerment, suspended his license for six
months, and fined him $275 plus court costs (a lot more money in 1979 or 1980
than it is now).

Score one for the good guys. Unfortunately, Kathy never really felt the same
about riding after that, and the bike was sold within six months. She's never
ridden more than a couple of miles on some of my smaller bikes since then.

(Every Word is Gospel Truth!)

 

Bjay comments)~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tim Morrow wrote
<><>In part------Gee, no wonder Moto can't remember any of the years,
makes, models, colors, or other characteristics of any of the 78
motorcycles he has owned (or was it 117?) over the years.
I've just *got* to stop insulting that guy - it's clear now that he's
been TRYING to tell the truth all along!


Bjay here~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tim, that was very interesting about you and your Wifes ride, that
almost truned in to a diaster. I know it wasnt aimed @ me and wasnt
meant to be taken as true.
But, gawl'dern it, I don't think a feller cood
come up with a Bike tale like that, and it not be nothing but the truth.

But, as you mentioned it was a tale for Moto's benenfit, for some
reason.?
I missed ya'll earlier remarks, apparantly.

But, what you don't seem to remember, is:
Mr. 70 year old Moto, probably had trouble with his WTV apparatus, in
the way of ''it''comprehending your detailed, most interesting Bike
Story''.

These faux computer like apparatuses,
get hot, when they are forced to ''scroll'' down any further than 10
feet. I know mine does, and I wood assume Mr. 70 year old Motos wood
also, because your tale was 11 feet long. I made it, but it was getting
harder as I scrolled down.
Don't think I could've read another 12 inches further down. (grin)

Tim, apparantly you and Moto have been disc. how many Bikes he has owned
in his life time. ?

Did he say he use to own a dealership, maybe that would explain, having
owned that many bikes.

I've only owned one old Harley, my first, and 3 Yamahas, 7 Hondas, in
my life, and I'm a monkeys uncle..

Again, I enjoyed your Bike Tale, looking forward to reading about some
of the other 45 bike stories. (heh, hehe)

'Ya'll take care'' --BJAY--

 

Ask around, you will learn that I am a phony, a wannabe, and a very convincing
liar. I can make up motorcycle stories until the cows come home. None of them
are true. In fact, I don't even own a motorcycle. I just hang out in
motorcycle newsgroups pretending to be a big bad burly biker dude.

All of my motorcycle stories are for Moto (and Bill Walker) since they are the
ones who "outted" me to the group(s) as a phony wannabe pussy twat (to use their
words).

I will do my best to keep future lies more, erm, succinct!

That is one of the great mysteries of life, and a subject that Moto is having a
grand old time teasing me with.

Perhaps that is the answer! Only Moto hisownself knows fershure.

That's a lot of bikes by any measure.

Well, thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed my little fabrication, even if it was
dedicated to others!

Regards,

Tim (not my real name) Morrow (not my real name, either)

 

Bjay wrote earlier about Tims fabricated, most interesting, mad up, bike
tale.
~~~~~Tim, that was very interesting about you and your Wifes ride, that
almost truned in to a diaster. I know it wasnt aimed @ me and wasnt
meant to be taken as true.
But, gawl'dern it, I don't think a feller cood come up with a Bike tale
like that, and it not be nothin, but the truth.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<>Tim Somebody says~~~~
Ask around, you will learn that I am a phony, a wannabe, and a very
convincing liar. I can make up motorcycle stories until the cows come
home. None of them are true. In fact, I don't even own a motorcycle. I
just hang out in motorcycle newsgroups pretending to be a big bad burly
biker dude.

~~~~~~~~~~bjay, responds~~~~~
~~~~~~I hate to admit it, but gosh dern, you've completely ''horn
swaggled me''
(Tim, that's an old Texas sayin') ~~~~~jayb.

'Ya'll take care'' --BJAY--

 

Tim, I'll be damn, I keep forgetting to type in rec.motorcycles, when I
respond to most of what's been posted, here lately, even though I am in
TxMoto.

My Question? If I don't crosspost, then you will not see my post?

Do you, a renown, and most talented PC
Persona, have to type in ''txmoto'' for it to be seen over here?

I have just lately, ever done this crossposting stuff. but I feel, like
you guys barely see me anyway, so I'd better CP.

'Ya'll take care'' --BJAY--

 

BJay: I don't read tx.moto. I see tx.moto posts that are crossposted into
reeky. When I respond to crossposted posts, I do NOT remove the other groups
unless I KNOW that the sender and other posters listed in the response thread
are ONLY in Reeky.

So, you could say that I take the "default." I read rec.motorcycles, and I
*get* rec.motorcycles plus whatever other newsgroups other posters have included
along with reeky.

I don't think I've ever originated an new thread post to any newsgroups except
rec.motorcycles and rec.motorcycles.harley. Perhaps a very rare post to
rec.motorcycles.tech or alt.motorcycles.sportbike or even tx.motorcycles, but
mainly the only way my stuff gets into other ngs is via quoted crossposts.

And BJay? I am not reknowned or talented when it comes to PCs. I am a ordinary
user, no less and certainly no more.

Tim

P.S. I don't think I answered your question. I *DO* have to type in txmoto for
it to be seen in tx.motorcycles, unless I'm responding to a post that already
has tx.moptorcycles in the group list, in which case my eresponse automatically
goes to tx.motorcycles.