The EOSM that was.....

My first real life UKRM experience:

Saturday:
Wake late. oh shit.
Run bath. seek tent.
find tent. hung up in shed from last time. oh shit.
fold tent up. stop bath overflowing.
pack bag. Leave
Bus to Train.
Train to Atherton. Where?
Exactly. Middle of nowhere.
FrJack arives in cage.
I help to balance out the suspension.
Drive to M6. Down M6.
Left off M6. Keep going straight.
See sign for M6 1 mile. Oh shit.
Tear in the time space continuum.
Turn round. Numpty in front.
Over take. Oh shit.
BMW cage does stoppy for us. cheers mate.
Arrive EOSM. Scary people. Lots.
Meet people, instantly forget names.
Pitch tent. Beer. Stunt show.
Beer. Beer. Beer. Beer. Names. Beer.
Food. Beer. Chat. Blaney [1]. Bed.

Sunday:
Awake.
Groggy people. names still forgotten.
Food. CIHAGM fest and stunt show.
Stay off other peoples bikes.[2]
Get offered a pillion to station. Goodbyes.
Saddle Up. Comedy of Comedy.
Find out a cage lift to Manc. Unsaddle.
Hello's again. Stunts. Soft drinks.
Find another lift *home* - goodbyes again.
chug home via other places.


points of order;

[1] Blaney abso-fucking-lutely wankered is seriously funny. He talks the
most entertaining bollocks.

[2] Desperate to take Baneys Blandit12 for a spin but resist.

[3] You're all fucking ace. Thanks for a blinder - especially to Loz and
the Pub people[5]

[4] Apparently I resemble a cross between Bear, Doc Gonzo and someone
called Simon. I am unaware how to feel about this.

[5] The barstaff at that gaff are darned cute!

[6] Did Ginge suffer nightmares of drowning on Blaneys Jizz?

[7] Did Christofire scupper Blaneys plan of Jizzing over his face by
beating him at his own game? Hence the in tent groundsheet Pizza?

And lastly, thanks to everyone there, especially those who made, or
tried or offered to make it possible for me, all at the last minute with
no wheels of my own, please don't be offended if I forget your names!

 

Bad form and all, but I forgot these were on my camera:

"y'shee tha furckhin bshh ovetheresh? well I wash aving a psh and
realished that me legs hurt like farck, so I looksh dahn and I'm stood
in the farchkin stingin nettles. cahnts. farhck.

http://www.darkwings.co.uk/Pics/blaney2.jpg
http://www.darkwings.co.uk/Pics/blaney1.jpg

at 2 am ish. shortly before the "wheresh my schleeping bag? ish it
schtill on my bike" vs "BLANEY! If you don't SHUTIT I'll come over there
and do you!" episode which was shortly before Christo left the tent to
sleep somewhere, anywhere, just somewhere without blaneyvomit.

 

Surely that was The Blane attempting to repossess the jizz he'd just
lobbed?

Only when you're not threatening to put his lights out, yes. He's a
top bloke and no mistake - but when he gets _that_damaged_ ...

 

I was blissfully unaware of that conversation, a fact that let me sleep
soundly for most of the night.

Out of interest, what was the reason I should recieve such a special
favour?

 

Location.

 

"christofire"

Was that me?
Come to think of it was that you?

 

<g>

 

Ben, FFS, if you keep on saying sorry in this annoying manner I'm going
to have to lamp you one. It's *well* out of order.

 

Yeah, shame really. Those WI lot might have been gagging for it.

 

'Sallright, mate. You did the jolly decent thing and shut the **** up
once the green fog round your brain had been penetrated. Fair play,
geezer. I went back to sleep the happy blissful kip of the
not-quite-arseholed - and you went ...

Seemed fair to me.

 

Bear fascinated us all by saying...

I was completely wankered on friday night after that spud-munching
Petrolcan **** made me the strongest pint of black russian I've ever had.
As it was my 4th pint in 2 hours, I didn't really notice that he'd used
the 50ml measure and done me double doubles AIW.

I spent all day Saturday alternating between being violently sick,
sleeping and standing around looking a very pale shade of grey until I
needed desperately to sit down. I didn't touch a drop of booze all day
and best of all, I didn't apologise to a fucking soul.

--
Lozzo
ZZR1100D, GPZ500S, CB250RS
BOTAFOT#57/70a, BOTAFOF#57, two#49, MIB#22, TCP#7, BONY#9,
ANORAK#9, DIAABTCOD#14, UKRMT5BB, IBW#013, MIRTTH#15a/16,
BotToS#8, GP#2, SBS#10, SH#3, DFV#14.
Url for ukrm newbies : http://www.ukrm.net/faq/ukrmscbt.html
www.mjkleathers.com

 

I think it may have been stronger than that

That is the understatement of the century

 

Oh. I heard it was due to him mixing you drinks, cos I know you can
normally cope with large BR's.

Does this mean that once I turn 40, it will all fall apart and I will be
reduced to Sherry or some other shite?

--
Lesley
ZXR400SP
"Not bad for a Scouser"
SBS#11[with oak-leaf cluster]
BOTAFOT#101A UKRMHRC#12
BONY#54P BOB#18

Un-cork me to reply

 

DangerScouse fascinated us all by saying...

My large BRs are normally a double vodka, double Kahlua[1] in a pint
glass topped up with Coke. I'll happily drink those all night. A
Petrolcan version uses *two* double measures each of vodka and Tia Maria
because he thought it was the singles measure, topped with Coke. That's
why I got so evilly ratarsed. He seems to think he may have been a bit
over-generous with the double double measures too.

[1] Make note Mr Blaney

--
Lozzo
ZZR1100D, GPZ500S, CB250RS
BOTAFOT#57/70a, BOTAFOF#57, two#49, MIB#22, TCP#7, BONY#9,
ANORAK#9, DIAABTCOD#14, UKRMT5BB, IBW#013, MIRTTH#15a/16,
BotToS#8, GP#2, SBS#10, SH#3, DFV#14.
Url for ukrm newbies : http://www.ukrm.net/faq/ukrmscbt.html
www.mjkleathers.com

 

"Champ"

You still remember it? ;-)

 

Argh.

<battens hatches, prepares for verbose reviews of Emva Cream versus
Asda Jerry's Armadillo Superbo>

 

I suspect a Tonic Wine will be order of the day.

 

Not true - you apologised profusely when I bought you a pint of Black
Russian which you could not drink!

Still, I enjoyed it ;o)

 

One of the pubs round here speet on topping up with Coke
and top up with Guiness.

 

Sherry is nice enoguh when free[1], but port is *pos*[2]

[1] spot the jumper wearing attitude...
[2] esp. college ports. Hmmmm...