That'll make it rain

I've just wasted an hour with a highlighting pen and the OS Explorer
maps covering the surrounding area marking all the BOATs. I reckon I can
easily spend 5 or 6 hours riding around off road upsetting the dog
walkers and horse riders so rain tomorrow is inevitable.

Place bets now as to whether I end up walking away from the bike after
it becomes terminally stuck in mud or plod arrest me for some 100 year
old law I've never heard of.

 

Just be aware that most BOATs on the map will now be restricted
byways, possibly with physical barriers. Horse riders are usually ok.
Walkers with sticks & maps hanging around their necks otoh are the
biggest bunch of cunts on the planet & likely to hurl abuse &
deliberately try to block you. Oh, & avoid mud unless you like walking.

 

It's just started pissing down so actually riding on those BOATs might
end in tears but I think I'll still go and check them out to see how
many have had restrictions put on them. An hour or two with the maps,
satnav and a note book will stand me in good stead when it's dried out
again.

Given that everything around here has been shut for 6 months and it's
been really dry the lanes shouldn't have those nasty deep ruts filled
with liquid mud so temptation could overcome me. I'll phone so you can
laugh if I get totally stuck.

 

I should have mentioned that I've also got up to date digital maps
(issued by the councils) for everything near me so I can check the
legality of riding on any track before I rip it to pieces.

 

"Henceforth, pursuant to the Publick Highways Act, shall no Person use
upon this Way any Contraption or Contrivance, bee it propelled by
Fires of Hell within a Barrel, whether it Farts the Stench of Hades
after Two or Four Strokes of the Devils' Plunger, on Payne of a Fine
not less than one shilling thruppence-ha'penny and removal of said
Contrivance to a Place of Safe Keeping."

Ok, perhaps phrased in the style of rather more than 100 years ago.

 

Well I didn't get nicker or stuck in deep mud.

I did about 80 miles of which somewhere around 30 were off road. I had
great fun and the only bad bits were where the grass betwen the ruts was
wet and if you tried to ride along between the ruts it was like riding
on a very greasy tightrope.

I'd have still been out there riding around but I took a monster of a
fall going down a heavily rutted slope and the bastard Tenere landed
right on my leg leaving me winded and pinned down. I got out from under
the bike after removing my helmet and having a calming smoke then had to
remove most of my bike kit before I could lift the bike up because i was
sweating so badly. It took me several goes to get it upright because the
wheels were higher than the rest of the bike and even when it was just
about upright I couldn't get on to roll it down the slope.

The bike escaped fairly lightly with a broken brush guard and a slightly
bent rear brake lever. Nothing plastic broken, bars straight and the
brush guard probably saved me from having a broken brake lever. I
suppose it was inevitable really after getting away with so much in
Norway and the only personal damage is a decent bruise already appearing
on my right thigh.

Quite an entertaining day really.

 

How do you get these?

 

So the Tenere's styling's not just for show, then.

Where was this? Beds?

 

I was quite pleased with the way it stood up to being banged about all
day then slammed hard on its side. It was getting really hot at times so
I kept stopping to let it cool down before carrying on but more speed
might have helped there.

I did the grand tour starting off in Beds, moved into Cambs, back into
Beds then into Northants before going back into Beds. I reckon you
could spend a good 6 hours out there only riding on byways or back roads
and not repeat any sections if you chose your route carefully.

I hardly saw anyone off the main roads and made sure I behaved when
others were about so only had one person waving his arms about but that
was probably because he was showing off to his wife and kids. I was
already on the opposite side of the lane to him but he still felt
obliged to jump about pretending he was a human wall protecting his
flock and it was really tempting to give him a quick kick as I rode
past.

 

Ask for them.

 

I had some bint ranting at me today when I squeezed past in the car on
a narrow track, rather than waiting for her to drag her spawn up onto
the verge. She shut up when I pointed out it was a private track
leading to my house & not a fucking footpath.

 

You're right.
In Wales they don't have a digitised version of the 'Definitive map'.
It's kept in the Highways office and you can go there and ask for a
copy.