Team UKRM Newbie - Donington Report

Grab a drink, this is going to take a while...

I won't go into full detail about the days racing as I'm sure Champ
will be doing this so I'll just give you all my account of my first
endurance race.

I was pretty relaxed about the whole thing as I'd set myself one
"fairly" simple objective for the weekend, keep it upright for two
hours. If I managed this great, if I also managed to be competitive
that was a bonus.

It was decided that I'd get the free practice session to try and get
used to the bike. Unfortunately there was a problem with the fuel
line so this was fixed in quick time and I head out with about half
the session remaining. I get to the end of pit lane and the guy tells
me I haven't got my armband on so I should do one lap then in. I head
out onto the circuit and tip into Redgate and wonder what the **** is
wrong with the bike. The answer of course if nothing, it's just a
combination of a bike that steers completely differently to the gixxer
and the slicks which I've never raced on before.

Pootle around and in for the armband. Do they fit over my leathers?
Do they hell! After Champ had made his best effort to stop all the
circulation to my forearms I headed back out but the session had ended
so I waited at the end of pitlane for the timed practice to start.

Out I go then to try and get upto speed with the bike. I put in a
couple of seriously slow laps just to suss things out. In fairness it
isn't rocket science. "That's how it brakes, that's how it steers and
that's how it accelerates" Job done. Of course putting all of these
together and doing so for two hours was going to be interesting

I picked the pace up a bit and on my second "quick" lap I nearly lost
the front through the Old Hairpin. Bit weird I thought but carried on
towards Schwatz Curve. However on tipping into the left it was
obvious there was something wrong as despite my best efforts I was
heading straight for the grass. I backed it off and managed to keep
it on the back stuff. I continued around at a steady pace thinking
something's wrong here but there was this nagging doubt that I'd pull
into the pits and everone would declare the bike fine and me an utter
twat! I was however mightly relieved when Wik pointed to the
completely flat front tyre.

So I was going into the race having not yet completed a quick lap on
the bike but TBH this genuinely didn't worry me. I had two hours to
get used to it after all.

The plan was for Champ to do the first session, me second and Alex
third. I'd like to thank Alex and Champ at this point for basically
giving me the choice of session and TBH I think I got the best one for
me. I didn't have to think about doing a start, I got to see the sort
of pace Champ was running and I didn't get two hour old tyres like
Alex.

So with Champ doing the first session I got the job of holding the
bike on the start line. I think I was more worried about this than
racing the bloody thing! "So what do I do?" "And I wear full gear?"
"Does that include my gloves?" "Do I take the paddock stand?" "What do
I do with it when I'm holding the bike?" "Do I stay on the circuit
when they do the warm up laps?" "So how do I get back onto the
circuit?" You get the idea!

Champ sets off and I get changed into something more comfortable after
sweating my nads off standing on the gid. Alex then "kindly" reminds
me that I need to be kitted up in case Champ needs to come in
unexpectedly, fair point.

I have never known an hour pass by so quickly, before I knew it I was
up next. Again I wasn't feeling nervous which is always a bonus. The
pitstop was *seriously* slick and before I know it my arse is on the
seat and I'm heading down pitlane into an hour of the unknown.

After taking about five or six laps to settle in and repeat my "Keep
it upright" mantra I started to pick the pace up a bit. All the time
I was concious of overdoing it and ending the session way off the
pace. I concentrated on keeping it smooth and trying to find a pace
that I was happy with where I wasn't over exerting myself but I wasn't
too far off the pace. Once I'd settled into this rhythmn I was
pleased to see the times I was doing were between 1:20 and 1:22.
Every now and again I'd drop into the 23's or 24's. At this point
another mention *really* must be made of Suze's utterly sterling
efforts on the pit wall. You're an absolute star as I'm sure many
others have already told you!

Anyway, I got the board telling me I'd been out for 15 minutes [1] and
thought blimey this is going to be hard work. However, the next half
hour seemed to go really quickly. I missed the half hour board and
got to a point where I was thinking I *really* hope I've missed the
board and the next one is the 15 minutes. I'd settled into a nice
rhythmn and feeling fairly comfortable tried to maintain a 1:20 pace.
This worked quite well and I was pleased to see a 1:19 appear on the
board.

Towards the very end of the session it was obvious that I was getting
knackered as my concentration was going causing me to become ragged.
This all culminated in a visit to the gravel at Redgate. I basically
turned in too early and found myself rapidly running out of tarmac. I
decided to stand it up and take my chances with the gravel. "Keep off
the brakes, keep off the brakes". It worked, I'd come to a stop and I
was upright. "Right then, how the **** do I get out of here?" After
much wheel spinning and paddling I managed to get within two foot of
the track when the back kicked right out on me and the bike started
going over. Did I crash?...no! The fucker was still upright and my
underwear was still in one piece, just.

3,2,1 IN came and went on the board. I remembered to give Suze the
thumbs up to acknowledge that I'd seen the IN board and brought it
back in one piece.

Off the bike, into the garage and then it hit me that I could neither
walk nor talk. That latter being of distinct advantage to those
around me.

After taking on some food and fluids I didn't feel too bad but my
right calf was aching like hell but the wonderful services of our
garage companions masseur sorted me out. I'm lying on the massage
table thinking **** me this is a bit different to pitching up on your
own to race!

Once again Alex and Champs session fly by and I'm back out again.

Another slick pitstop but the bike won't start. I get a push down the
pitlane but no amount of bumping it will get it going. We wheel it
out to the paddock and after much button pressing and pulling of
hoses, another bump sees us back in business. During this time the
pace car has come out so we haven't lost as much time as we thought.

I'm sat behind the pace car whilst they clear the track at Schwantz.
Pace car in and we're off but after only two laps two guys go down at
the Chicane onto the start finish straight dumping a shitload of oil
across the corner. Out with the pace car again and at the sedate
speed it suddenly dawns on me that I'm *dying* for a piss! My balance
between drinking enough fluid to prevent dehydration and pissing
yourself obviously needs some work.

The pace car finally pulls off after what turned out to be half the
session. I settle into a rhythmn again but find myself in a lot of
traffic, both slow and fast. Even when the fast guys come past they
tend to knock you offline sometimes. I came up behind a guy on a
CBR600RR who I reckon was about 1/2 to 1 second slower than me but for
some reason I seemed to just knock it back and sit behind him at a
comfortable pace.

After about five or six laps I got my head together and started to
pick up the pace. Within about three laps I was past him and saw my
laptimes start dropping again but I then came up on some more traffic
which was slower so easier to pass but again I just found this knocks
your rhythmn [2] again.

With a clear track I was still putting in 20's and 21's but these were
interspersed with one too many 24's unfortunately.

Again the hour went quite quickly and I didn't feel as tired towards
the end due to the pace car. Out came the 3, 2, 1 IN and my first
endurance race was over.

After a quick team debrief. Yeah right, after I'd ran through the
garage at 100 mile an hour in search of the nearest toilet more like,
Wik told me that we'd lost a lap due to the problems starting the bike
but I'd managed to pull this lap back on Team Black Cat which was
nice.

Alex took the last session and had a much more enjoyable time than his
first bringing the bike back in a solid 5th in class after lapping
Team Black Cat again!

Overall I *really* enjoyed it. I set out with my simple objective of
not crashing and lasting my two hours and managed not only that but to
be competitive for those two hours which I'm really pleased about.

There's much talk on here about Team UKRM but without sounding a bit
naff I had no idea just how much of a Team effort it really is. The
sterling efforts put in by so many people made it possible for the
three of us to go out there on the bike and have some real fun and for
that I thank you all *enormously*!

If you've managed to read this far without being bored to tears I'm
quite frankly fucking amazed.

That's it, see you next year?!

[1] I honestly can't remember which way around we did it! Counting up
or down!

[2] I seem to keep waffling on about rhythmn /

 

She certainly is. We're all behind Suze

 

To use a cliche: they rock.

Well done, mate - glad you enjoyed it.

Well, having knocked out two kids, chief, it doesn't seem to be
working.

 

Don't be daft; good stuff.

If I honestly thought I could keep up with the pace car, I'd almost be
tempted to give it a go.
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..70230../..16368.../..3180./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17
'^' RBR-Visited:80 Pts:1730 Miles:6247

 

Daz secured a place in history by writing:

Nice account. Mortal, real, credible, not a single 'I rock'. Good stuff.

 

That brings back memories. After the first 20 minute you think, I've
had enough, I want a pee and my mouth is dry. Then before you know it
you see the 3-2-1 in.

They are brilliant, the riders have it easy by comparison.

Nice write up mate and well done.

 

Awe..I'm blushing!

Despite all the early problems with the bike, the race was excellent and
I'm so proud of you all.

--
Suze
CBR600F Sport & CBR400RR
BOTAFOT#77 two#23 BOB#13
email (for humans): suzel at blueyonder dot co dot uk
ukrm's endurance race team: www.team-ukrm.com

 

So glad you enjoyed the view. I do my best to keep you all entertained
;-)

Why do I get the feeling that you'll be asking for the minimum height of
pit walls to be increased so that I have to stand on a box for every
race!

--
Suze
CBR600F Sport & CBR400RR
BOTAFOT#77 two#23 BOB#13
email (for humans): suzel at blueyonder dot co dot uk
ukrm's endurance race team: www.team-ukrm.com

 

Am I really that shallow?

No, no need to answer that.

 

LOL! Given that you went for about 4 that Sunday we went out I was
expecting some comment like this. Maybe you should consited a catheter
for next year

Good stuff! Well done the whole team.

 

[ker-snip]

Quality write-up, dude.

Good effort by all involved made it a damned satisfying weekend all
round.

Thanks to all our supporters and well-wishers who made the effort to
come see us and spur us on when we had darker moments, also.

Special mention to Nigel Eaton for supplying us with lovingly hand-
crafted sculptures of metal for us to wreck; to Christofire for his
lovingly hand-crafted banana cakes to scoff; to Sorby and HooDooWitch
for taking some stonking photies; to Team Ixion for helping us to put it
all into perspective and finally, to Mr.Kawasaki for making a seemingly
unburstable motorcycle.


Wik.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Champ

<seconded>

Nice change from the other two fucking drama queens.

Me too. Can I come put to play with the team next year too mistah?
--
Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-104" range of rearsets

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL)
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Salad Dodger

Is there a 1500cc class?

If you enter on the Wing, I'll make the rearsets.
--
Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-104" range of rearsets

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL)
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

Wouldn't qualify - oversize motor.

Nah. Forward controls'd be the way to go.

Set the cruise to 90, feet up, kettle on.

--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..70230../..16368.../..3180./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17
'^' RBR-Visited:80 Pts:1730 Miles:6247

 

For the pace car?

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Nigel Eaton

<pulls bait up, inspects it>

Oh, hang on, I can see the problem.

Nice change from the current other two fucking drama queens.

<recasts>
--
Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-104" range of rearsets

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL)
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Daz

Nice write up. I'll add mine from a hanger-on perspective:

As already noted, free practice was a bit iffy. Fuel problems gave
them-wot-know worried looks, so I stood around trying to hand
appropriate spanners to likely looking candidates.

Champ also demonstrated his well-known disdain for lube...

*Anyway* it all seemed to get sorted out and Wik and I amused ourselves
for a while playing with the fuel rig. Lovely thing it is. It can dump
25 litres into a tank in five seconds. Or into the pit lane in a bit
less ("Make *fucking* sure that jubilee clip's tight, OK?"). We did
notice that the fire marshals tended to hover around our garage like
expectant fathers.

Then some blokes went out and did the racer thing. They seemed to be a
bit damp when they came back in. And smelly.

It's funny, even as a pit-monkey your pulse *definitely* goes up when
the "IN" board goes out. You *really* don't want to **** it up. And I
think it's fair to say we didn't. The three-hour change of both wheels
went pretty well. And I can confirm that the exhaust of a racing 750
gets quite hot. Gyp stayed commendably cool when the rear wheel resisted
a little.

The "Oh ****, it won't start!" thing on Daz's second stint was a little
concerning at the time. Especially when we hit the bottom of the pit
lane with no sound from the bike other than the CRACK! as Wik and I got
a little medieval on the bodywork during the pushing. We'd like to thank
the rider who binned it at this point and got the pace car out. Cheers
mate. Top marks to Matt for staying calm and sorting the problem
quickly. And for bringing Cathy along. You lucky fucker.

The finish was lovely. Hanging over the pit wall and cheering "our guys"
home left me with a big cheesy grin.

Thanks to Wik and Suze for the grub. Thanks to Suze for standing on the
pit wall taking times and hanging boards out for *six hours*. You're a
star. Thanks to Pip, Wik, Gyp and Matt for not shouting at me. And
thanks to Champ, Daz and Alex for not bringing too many broken bits
back. And thanks to whoever-it-is-I've-forgotten-because-I'm-a-****.

Top day. Let's do it again.
--
Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-104" range of rearsets

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL)
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

Daz wrote

Think about this^

As practice for this.



Well done. Not many newbie riders for Team UKRM get to go the whole
race.

 

Champ wrote

Bloody well done all of you for bringing it home.

Indeed.

 

From a spectator POV the whole garage looked very professional albeit
with the right friendly attitude. The change over between Champ and Daz
(first one) was well impressive.