<Nick turns up two hours early for work by mistake> <Nick goes to the smoking room to have a fag> <Nick goes outside to have another fag> <Nick turns on computer and deletes a few emails> <Nick goes up to the 1st floor to have another fag> <Nick goes over the road and has another fag + tea> <Nick walks back to desk, puts on assorted motorcycle gear, hops on bike and bimbles up to old riding school> Me: Hello there, I did my A2 licence with you in March and I'm looking for prices for an Accelerated Access course. Them: Oh hello luvvie, sit down 'ere and 'av a nice cuppa and some of our luverley bickies.[1] <walk outside to bike with wise gentleman from riding school to look at bike and have another fag> You've got four options: You were trained with us, so you know your shit[2] and the fact that you've done nearly 8,000 miles in all weathers and conditions and have even joined the club with your first proper crash (oh, haven't you gaffer-taped her well!) and still continue to enjoy bikes and wish to learn more shows that you have what it takes to do this biker stuff properly. Option 1: Total cost £70. Book your own test (£55) buy a couple of hard L-Plates and save the rest for beer money. Stick L-Plates on front and rear of your ER-5. Turn up at DSA office and go through the motions. The DSA don't know that the bike is restricted and don't care that it's restricted. Most riding school CB500s and ER-5s are so clogged up with shit and take so much abuse that they give out a lot less than the required BHP for the test anyway. Your well looked after 33bhp bike will therefore produce about the same amount of power as one of our unrestricted bikes. When the DSA ask "How did you get the bike here today?" answer in one of the following two ways: "I rode it here myself." - Your test ends here. "My mate rode here and I went pillion." - At which time you point out said mate (try to make sure that he has a helmet and is suitably dirty) you then go through the test, arrive back at centre half an hour or so later and post of your licence off to be exchanged. Pay off mate with beer money. Option 2: Total cost £155. Book your own test (£55), or we'll do it for you, then book a full day 'road rider/refresher' course through us. We provide the bike (probably an ER-5 as that's what you're used to) insurance and the like. For that you get a full day on the road to play with our instructor who will accompany you to the test centre in the usual way then you pass the same test you have already passed, again. Option 3: Total cost £165. As above, but use your own bike and provide your own L-Plates and petrol. Option 4: Do none of the above and wait another year and-a-half for your licence to upgrade. I'm glad I turned up for work early this morning! [1] Lie. [2] Their blind faith in my abilities was astounding.
