Snow

DYTIUTA?

Hmm, Nutella

 

Err, no. I imagine the crusty flakes would cause injury, not to mention
the width of the thing.

 

Hey, you leave Bear's mum out of this!

 

What's the matter with you? There's people up there ^^ fucking contact
lenses, which must be doing wonders for their Jap's eyes...

Anyway, all this food-fucking[1] is a bit unnecessary. All you really need
is a rolled-up newspaper, bar of soap, splash of warm water...

[1] cue "Ah'm fuckin' dis custahd" joke

 

See, this man knows. If you use a plastic bag inside, you can shag it
for longer and the A4 envelope is better than a newspaper because it's
more flexible

 

The whole point is that the newspaper goes a bit mushy and sloppy. If you
do it over a basin of warm water, you can scoop water in the other end of
the paper to make it feel hot inside. Anyway, I can't last as long as even
a cheap newspaper.

I wonder what bubble-wrap would be like.

Not that I ever do anything like this, oh no.

Looking at a quality broadsheet does get me a bit, err, unnecessary...

Right, that's it. I'm off for a wank.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/
http://www.sportinglife.com/
http://news.ft.com/home/uk
http://english.pravda.ru/

<tremble>

 

platypus wrote:
[snip]

Surely this would be better?
http://www.jazzwise.com/magazine/060/

 

Yeah, just the idea of doing it with a newspaper gets me over excited as
well. Mind you, having said that, I'd be like that with just about
anything atm.

Mmm, with the bubbles on the inside I imagine it would be rather good.
You'd need a lot of soap[1] to prevent friction burns, mind.

Too big. Use something that's just larger that the insertion object so
you get a sump effect.

Put the newspaper, or whatever is the focus of your desire between the
cushions on your sofa and then **** it doggie style )

[1] Or shampoo, or what I used last time, Vasaline intensive care.

 

"Nice."

 

I don't get it.

 

"Too big"? Err...

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/louis_balfour.shtml

 

*sigh*

<mode=obvious>
It's a Jazz Mag.
</mode>

 

Yeah, yeah, I got that but I thought the content had something to do
with it but there were just a load of ugly old blokes in there.

"Nice"[1]

[1] Cheers, Platy.

 

I used to have a subscription to that.

 

Ben Blaney wrote:
[Jazzwise magazine]

Heh. That did cross my mind but I couldn't
come up with anything particularly amusing
about you and a Jazz mag.