Skeg

I is booked in to the Autumn do at Butlitz from the 8th to the 11th of
October. Will Mr Toseland be champ by the time he bashes those ivories?
Be bloody good if he is.

--
Clive
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Is it only a dream that there'll be no more turning away?

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Fotoman

Sorry, old chap. This is an English speaking newsgroup.

ENGLISH! YES? UNDERSTAND? NO?

*waves hands*

ENGLISH?

 

If you'll bear with me a moment Mr Eaton, I believe I can provide a
rough translation from the Ned [1][1a] dialect to an approximation of
the mother tongue.

I is booked in to - I have made a reservation for

the Autumn do - an assignation arranged for the forthcoming season.

at Butlitz - I believe this may refer to the chain of holiday camps
founded by a Mr Butlin [2] with a slight change to emphasis a
perceived similarity between said holiday camps and Colditz.

From the 8th to the 11th of October - is surprisingly legible.

Will Mr Toseland be champ - This could refer to the dish of mash and
veg, though I fail to see why Mr Toseland would be likened to a food
product. As to Mr Toseland being champ - perhaps he plans to steal his
identity and claim ownership of his various possessions thus depriving
UKRMers of the spoils.

by the time he bashes those ivories - although this could be
euphemistic I think in this case the OP is referring to piano playing.
This further information then leads us to reexamine Mr Toseland
'being' champ. It suggests he is a musician, perhaps champ is some
musical term - I'm afraid my knowledge in this area doesn't allow me
to state with any certainty that this was the intended meaning.

Be bloody good if he is - It would be spiffing if this was indeed the
case.

Perhaps the OP would care to clarify?

[1] I never realised that was an acronym until this weekend - non
educated delinquent apparently.
[1a] A much more acceptable word than chav imo.
[2] As an aside, said Mr Butlin was an acquaintance of my mother in
law's family.