She's discovered the plants..

The little woman got herself a good nights rest and recovered from her two
weeks in Mexico.. After I made the coffee and was enjoying my first cup, she
got out of bed.. took a leisurely shower and came into the living room to
watch the early news programs with me..

I watched carefully while she daintily sipped her first cup of coffee,
making small talk about our vacation.. Smiling and chatting, we enjoyed the
morning while she casually began to start her day..

A good breakfast finished and things were going so smoothly, I began to
relax .. Then .. horrors.. she walked out on the porch which overlooks the
patio.. Tension was all over the place as she glanced around HER domain..
Then .. much as I dreaded it, her eyes zeroed in on the beloved plants..
Sheesh.. that little woman transformed into a raving lunatic.. Rage was on
her face as she raced to the planters where her lovely flowers and plants
once glittered with beauty.. Those things were pitiful..

Thoughts ran through my mind endlessly.. All the advice and excuses played
back to me.. The moment had finally arrived.. Thank God.. the green Vulcan
was safely covered in a remote area.. The first words out of her mouth
were.. "What did you do ?" More of a scream .. than a question..

I casually leaned back against the porch railing, sipping that final cup of
coffee.. and replied.. "I told those guys that you wouldn't like for them to
be changing their oil, in your patio.... They just didn't listen".. "What
guys?" was the next scream.. I dodged a shriveled and dried piece of plant
that she threw.. "Well.. you see, Darling.. A couple of the guys came in
from out of town and spent the day with me, after you left"... I continued..
"They didn't have a place to do the work, and the oil had to be changed
before they could continue their trip.. What else could I do ?" She slowed
down a bit.. then.. "What guys ?"..

I calmly and softly responded with all due decorum.. "Well.. let's see..
There was Waco.. IceMan.. Jailcall.. and Superfly Silverman".. "You know..
they all live out of the area and had to perform their required maintenance
on the bikes"...

Now.. I know this sounds awfully cowardly on my part, but.. when it comes to
making peace with that mad little mexican lady.. I'd stoop to any depth..
Seems like the thoughtful thing to do... hmmm..

Well.. she calmed down just a bit, but she kept darting those "looks could
kill" glances in my direction as she continued to survey the damage to those
beloved flowers and plants.. I then walked over and pulled out my wallet..
I took out all the money and offered it to her, saying "The guys were so
sorry about the damage, they took up a collection and here is the money to
replace all those plants"... I helped as she cleaned out the planters and we
removed about two inches of topsoil..

Next stop was the "plant store" up on Shady Grove.. She bought plants and
soil and we have reconstructed the planters .. They should be in full bloom
again, within a month.. Maybe she'll forget a little when she sees the
gorgeous display... Here's hoping... Thanks for all the good advice and I
hope this will be a lesson to each and every one of us.. You see.. I didn't
try to hide the damage and I didn't run away from the problem.. Rather .. I
faced it squarely and honestly (except for the little lie)..

Now .. if I can distract her enough to make her forget this incident, my
friends will be safe.. when she sees them again... Meantime.. after the run
on the green Vulcan .. it is time for me to do another super lube and oil
change.. again....Damn.. this is getting complicated..

Your friend in Irving
Bill Walker

 

Your "understanding" is without "compare".. LOL.. I do appreciate it.. With
all the pampering and watering that has been going on for the past couple of
days, things are looking a little better..

She still isn't talking "real nice" to me.. Even after making the supreme
effort to shift the blame, she hasn't bought into the whole story..

Just yesterday, my long time and friendly neighbor dropped by and while we
were talking on the porch, he asked me what I'd done about the destruction
of the planters.. I immediately "shushed" him and tried to make sure the
little woman was preoccupied with something else.. Whew.. evidently she
never heard the question.. Seems the neighbor had seen all the commotion
when the big foot was stuck in the oil pan and oil flew all over the place..

Hopefully.. Waco, IceMan and Jailcall will be as understanding as you..

Your friend in Irving
Bill Walker

 

Senor.. y' Compadre

Muchos gracias por la respondes simpatico.. Pero.. necesario punta la senora
es demasiado trieste por las plantas.. Ella no queres otra cosas porque ella
tiene muchos amores por todos plantas.. Entonces.. no creas los rasones por
destruyo todos..

Cuando tu hace los reportes con el ladron, senor Jailcall, necesario usted
tener precautiones por este hombre.. Un desperate .. tu conocer..Tal vez
cuando propio tiempo pasar, ella estar mas tranquilo y passivo..Creo que..
demasiado serenio y calma es mas importe..

Otra vez... gracias mi amigo y compadre..
Su Amigo en Irving
Bill Walker

(English)

Many thanks for your nice response.. It is necessary for me to point that
the wife is very sad for the destruction of her plants.. LOL... She doesn't
care for other things as much as she has much love for her plants.. Then...
she doesn't believe the reasons for their destruction..

When you issue the report for the outlaw Jailcall, you should keep in mind
that he is of the desperate kind, as you wll know.. be careful..Perhaps as
the proper time passes, she will become more peaceful and passive about this
affair.. I believe that calm and serenity will prevail..

Again.. thank you, my friend and compadre..
(Rough translation)
Your friend in Irving
Bill Walker

* I don't know any German*

 

I understand.. Your efforts are greatly appreciated.. After carefully
analyzing the situation, this afternoon, I'm convinced that she is going to
get through all this trauma.. Residual effects will, of course be expected
for several years to come.. but progress is being made in that direction..

There was even a point when I suspected that she was about to trade the
Cadillac for a Ford Pickup.. However.. I believe that crisis has been
averted.. I am relieved to report to you, that Jailcall has been reprieved
and shouldn't be unduly pursued as the desperate character which we both
recognize.. I'm sure Marie will be much relieved to know that we have
managed to suppress much of that chaos which would surely cause her
distress..

Regards to you all, and again.. many thanks for the assistance in this
urgent matter.. hmmm.. Now .. I gotta make plans to do the super lube, oil
change and tune-up on the green Vulcan...

Your friend in Irving
Bill Walker