Royal Enfield motorbike - why would anyone buy one?

Hi

I wonder if any of you can help.

I am in charge of getting the copy a Royal Enfield motorbike (a Bullet
Electra-X to be precise)
that our website is about to auction off.

Obviously I can't mention *which* auction site or anything (for fear of
being flamed! - and don't worry it's not e-Bay) but I just need a
little help with selling the Royal Enfield brand.

Now, So far our copy writer has written some rather unconvincing stuff
about it being an "ultimate modern classic... ...that you';ll want to
go out and just ride" .


Can any of you tell me what a Royal Enfield is REALLY all about?

What are the 5 BEST things about them?
- Low purchase cost
- Reliability (??)
- Economy ?
- Style statement?
- The sound they make...
...or what?!

And what are the 5 *worst *come to that?!

If you can throw in some, I dunno Enfield jargon(??) or whatever, that
would be great.

To be honest I don't even fully understand the *history* of the brand
but I gather that they are
and old British motorbike brand (that years ago went bust in the UK ??)
and is still
being built in India and that now they are being reassembled in the UK.

- What is their reputation??

Do they resonate more with Harley Davidson - (a cool brand for with a
die-hard
group of fans) or are they a bid of a joke and resonating more with
Skoda
(a cheap slow import that falls to pieces - [alledgedly!!] ) ...or
what??

I feel we still don't REALLY understand our product. Can anyone help?

With thanks


Ship
Shiperton Henethe

 

You'll get more bids if you list it on ebay.

 

<snip semi-literate, clueless bollocks>

I hope your "copywriter" is a little more literate than you.

However, if there's anything worse than your writing, it is the Indian
Enfield Bullet - even worse than a Hardly Ableson. Don't bother.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Pip

Oi!

<thinks>

No, no, fair comment.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Podium Placed Ducati Race Engineer As featured in
Performance Bikes

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha Vmax Honda ST1100 wiv trailer

 

Oi! I'll have you know that I have an Indian Enfield Bullet and... and
err.......... yeah fair enough.

David

 

ship wrote

To quote you -

"still"

 

Crikey what's all this literacy grief for - what did I do?!

Like I confessed up-front, I don't *happen* to know much about
motorbikes.
Sure. But does that make you a superior human being just because
you know about little else?

In any case I thought you guys drove motorbikes in all yer spare time,
rather
than sit around composing fine poetry & egotistical snotty prose.

Could be... you're the expert.
But can you site any empirical evidence to back up this opinion?

Toodle-pip, Pip!


Ship
Shiperton Henethe

 

Well - exactly what *is* wrong with it, then?
And how come I dont believe you?!


Ship
Shiperton Henethe

 

Misty-eyed nostalgia bought by cunts who weren't old enough to have
ridden them when they were new and have a funny notion of how great
OldBritishBikes were.

They were shite and I'm heartened to see that Enfield India have managed
to encapsulate that indefinable feel and impart it to the product.

 

Ah... I just re-read my original post. Like er I do see what you mean
about my
mangled grammar...! Sorry about that - I do confess I hit send by
mistake
before it was ready to go. Must be that 6PM end of day low blood sugar
kicking in... [Mouth chock full of humble pie]


Ship
Shiperton Henethe

 

You chose to swan in here, using a text-based medium to convey your
request. I refer you to your line above, where you use a query and a
bang together. Fuckwit.

I know many things, little man. For example, I know you're an
incompetent, semi-literate fool. But don't let that stop you, you'll
find many of them on usenet.

Nobody "drives" a bike, they /ride/ them. Your formatting sucks, too.

"cite"

There are many reviews available, some very good ones. Should you
choose to consult them, you will find that the overall assessment of
the Indian Enfield is that it doesn't go very well, doesn't stop very
well and only corners marginally faster than a full-dress Harley: and
that only because it wouldn't slow down enough for the corner in the
first place, due to the pathetically weedy brakes.

Not only that, but the Enfield is notoriously unreliable and bits fall
off with monotonous regularity due to the excessive vibration.

As to definitive empirical evidence, listen to Uncle Nigel and his
crankpin.

Like I've never heard that before.

 

"a query and a bang together" = ?
Sorry old man you've lost me on that one...

You size-ist, you.
xx

Same dog, different lamp post.

Oh no - not the formatting too... !
Pray God not the FORMATTING.
No, no... I am unworthy, truly unworthy...

Any URLs?

Is that a sentence?
Me thinks, proud rider of motor-bicycle, that per chance thou needest
lessons
in the art of grammar.

Pip-pip


S

 

You're not making any friends, y'know.

 

Okay so that's why Brits buy them. Because they are cunts.
(Or is that just have cunts?)
And who can't recognise superior Japanese and/or US engineering.
That costs twice as much and drinks twice as much petrol.
Okay that settle that.

But what about all them Indians in *India*. Why do *they* buy them?
(1,027 Million Indian "cunts" ?)


Ship
Shiperton Henethe

 

I suggest you have a good read through this
<http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0091906814/026-3144851-2147646?v=glance&n=266239>
before you ask for help in future.

 

Old/Wise/Young/Stupid

 

What's the exchange rate?

 

Pip you're right. I confess I'd kindof given up trying to make
friends in this bar after this kindof abuse:
"incompetent",
"semi-literate fool"
"Fuckwit"
"little man"

Hey ho.


Ship

 

Pip, pip. Wow. Such a short post, and yet, you still managed to
forget to insert the obligatory "imho" while shouting out your own
peculiar brand bigotry.

 

but fair play, he's playing along. don't be too harsh.