Road Traffic Act 2005

Road Traffic Act 2005 - ""An it harm none, do what thou wilt shall be
the whole of the Law."

I. All existing regulations shall be repealed.

II. Fixed speed limits shall be replaced by a new offence of "Driving
Like A Dick". This shall cover both inappropriate low and high speed.

IIa. All speed cameras shall be destroyed, to be replaced with TrafPol,
who will be required to pass "Good Coppering" and "Common Sense" exams.
Retesting shall be at 6 month intervals.

III. Passing on either side on motorways will be offically sanctioned.

IV. A new offence of "rubber-necking" shall be created. Punishment shall
be by administration of an immediate neck-shot. The body shall be
displayed at the roadside for 7 (seven) days. It is anticipated that
this may result in quite large piles of rotting corpses in the
short-term.

V. "Lane 2A Blocking" shall be punished by being beaten about the head
with the remains of the offender's door mirrors.

VI. The Road Fund Licence shall be abolished, to be replaced with an
equivalent tax on fuel.

VIa. Whining transport firms shall have "Whinging Fucker" emblazoned on
their vehicles, obliterating company logos.

VII. Bandit 12s shall be available on the NHS.

VIII. Uninsured drivers shall be rendered down.

IX. Those driving on permanent full-beam, or failing to turn off their
fog lights when visibility exceeds 100 metres shall be made to stare
into a 2000 Watt arc lamp for ten minutes. They will then be required to
negotiate a maze equipped with punji pits. In the dark.

X. Little old dears, and those fitted with Trilbies shall surrender
their licences on demand.



I think that covers it.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "Oh Bollocks" said Pooh, having forgotten his lines.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Wicked Uncle Nigel says...

Hurrah for Comrade WUN. You get my vote.

--
Lozzo
Track pixie
GSX-R1000 K1
I haven't lost my mind, it's
backed up to a floppy disc
that's around here somewhere.

 

Can't we delete the first clause?

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Eiron

No.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "Oh Bollocks" said Pooh, having forgotten his lines.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

If only Ken Clarke had proposed it...
--
Gyp BOTAFOT#99, BotToS#4, UKRMT5BB, DIAABTCOD#28, HYPO#4
'81 R65RS - SORN but not forgotten
'89 R80RT - intercontinental ballistic tourer
'97 XLH1200 - weapon of muff disruption
Take out the chemical loo to reply

 

Nearly...

Generally good but can we add somewhere:

Scooterists should be barred from buying fuel and left to rot where they
stall.

?

 

<hon member for festering-in-the-marsh rises, scratching his arse>

I move an amendment to Section VI, to direct that an increase accruing
from a judiciously applied harmonisation[1] calculation shall be
employed to construct a minimum 200 miles per annum of nicely sweeping
Shell-gripped A roads.

[1] coff

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Champ

It is. Wholly different. So I think you're OK.

Mostly.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "Oh Bollocks" said Pooh, having forgotten his lines.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Crowley did.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Lady Nina

And what the **** did *he* know about modern road conditions?

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "Oh Bollocks" said Pooh, having forgotten his lines.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Can I have an amendment for people who are allergic to using a
handbrake at traffic lights?

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Christofire

Only for those with manual gearboxes. Otherwise I'd be guilty, and
that's obviously ridiculous.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "Oh Bollocks" said Pooh, having forgotten his lines.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Well, to be exact, didn't he claim someone else told him to delete it?

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Wicked Uncle Nigel amazed us all with this pearl
of wisdom:

"Driving like a dick" makes a ticket much easier to err.. swallow...

 

**** orf, just abolish Road tax altogether, especially as the old excuse "if
you have road tax you have insurance" is no longer relevant as plod had
access to insurance data base.

 

I think we need to make driving more expensive - get the riff raff
onto the buses and trains so there's less congestion for me.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Boots Blakeley amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

The riff raff already use the buses and what about the poor cunts that
live in the sticks?

 

Well I live in the sticks but I don't care about poor cunts and not
enough of the riff raff are using the buses yet or the roads would be
emptier.

 

I think he'd been drinking.

http://www.southernwines.com/images/products/thelema-cabernet-sauvignon-2002.jpg

 

You should include the IOM offence of "furious" driving/riding. I
think this would cover champ's worries.