Recycled twisting - another tale of BW's Mexican Adventures

April 2001
Four weary riders rolled along the mean streets into the city of
Queretaro this unseasonably warm spring night... the belltower clock
in the Catholic church struck the hour of eight... the straight
exhaust pipes of the grizzled riders' sub-liter cruisers growled
magnicently, the riders' leather chaps fluttered in the soft evening
breeze... do-rags smartly knotted about their heads gave notice to one
and all that these were truly warriors astride their iron steeds...
flashes from passing automobile headlights struck the dusty
chrome-encrusted accoutrements clustered on the rider's machines,
flashing like lightning against their tattooed arms... Small children
stood along the side of the street, their mouths agape in wonderment.

Suddenly a teriffic crash split the evening air.... The riders rounded
the corner in time to see the dust rise from the just-collapsed
section of the ancient stone aqueduct. So sudden was the event that a
3-ton truck swerved to miss the debris - right into my lane. Being the
extremely lucky biker I am... I expertly laid my cruiser down... just
as I was taught long ago by a grizzled veteran of the Hell's Angels in
California...but that is another story, for another time... as I
commenced to up-right my Harley-lookalike Japanese cruiser, I noticed
my luck was holding... she had only suffered a tiny scratch on one
turn signal... my relief was short lived as my companions and I
noticed the tail lights of a black Lincoln limousine protruding from
the pile of rubble... as we approached the wreckage I noticed the
car's government official license plate - and faintly from the
rockpile we heard the cries of a woman trapped inside the car...
meanwhile a gathering crowd had grown around the crash scene. Several
federal and local police officers approached, with shotguns and
assault rifles pointed menacingly in our direction... unperturbed I
cooly assessed the situation and held my hands, clad in fingerless
biker gloves, at my side... I explained to the police officers in
fluent Spanish that we were lovable, trustworthy, loyal, helpful,
friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean,
and reverent... the commanding officer's eyes softened and grew moist
as he commenced to percieve my utter goodness and sincerity... these
tough, grizzled men then laid their weapons down and we all commenced
to group-hug.

"Vamos, my compadres!" I barked in my command voice... recognizing my
experience and situational mastery, they looked to me as their
leader... "people are trapped inside that car - we must rescue them".
With my outlaw-biker vest fluttering, I directed these men to fetch
shovels from a nearby site where a 4-star restaurant and shoe boutique
was under construction... with my construction experience I was able
to position these men most effectively as they commenced to dig the
car out of the rubble... after a while the badly crumpled car's
sunroof emerged... unbroken due to its design of bulletproof glass...
thinking quickly I detached the chrome-plated Poseiden's trident
sissybar from behind the pillion seat of my Vulcan and deftly pried
the sunroof window open... inside the car I spied a young woman,
wearing a strapless white evening gown. She appeard dazed, with a
nasty-looking gash on her forehead... leaning into the car I commenced
to gently lifter her from the floor, and out of the car. "Get the
driver out of there, vamos!!" I shouted... The smell of raw gasoline
was overpowering as I cradled her in my arms... spurred on by my
command authority, the policemen quickly complied... as the
unconscious driver was carried away from the vehicle the car suddenly
erupted in flames...

Afterwards I learned that the young woman I rescued was the daughter
of the Governor of Queretaro... her grateful father offered my
companions and myself gold and precious jewels as we dined that
evening at his mansion. We refused his offers of riches, and told him
we did what we had to do - would he do no less for us? Tears misted
his eyes as he offered us the keys to the city, and an open invitation
to return soon... next morning we were escorted out of town by
worshipful, grateful city officials...

Once again, this proves...beyond a shadow of a doubt... that Mexico is
a land of kind, wonderful, friendly, saintly gentle people... any
stories to the contrary are nothing but damned lies spread by Usenet
Pussies... who, should they dare to set foot south of the
Texas-Mexican border will surely suffer the agonies of the damned...

(to be continued)

 

<snip>

Swing and a miss, as I see it.

You might want to rethink that. <snerk>

 

Snip

ROTFLMAO, you hit the nail on the head.... phrasing, timing, pomposity
level, self aggrandizement, total lack of any sense of IRONY. Perfect!

You hit a fucking home run, dude.

Oh, please, just let my sore ribs heal up first!

 

What are you, his fluffer? Don't need to lie to the man.

 

LMAO... What's a "fluffer" That's a new one for me.. Don't some of these
guys just crack you up ?

Bill Walker
Irving

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fluffer&f=1

I have no personal experience, just heard the term somewhere.

 

LOL

 

thats funny, sounds like the original.


j

 

You must have left that keen sense of humor of yours in Mexico,
Wakko...
<grin> ... Don't know who the OP is, but there's no denying he hit the
bull's eye with his parody of BW... Why, even BW himself should be
able to see that.... they say imitation is the sincerest form of
flattery.... only a sour, humourless, self-aggrandizing individual
would fail to see the implicit appreciation in that long and detailed
piece of fiction.... Meantime.. see if you can "find" that sense of
humor, again.. before you make your next response to this thread..
Regards

 

Ouch, man. You nailed me.

I concede that it's a decent parody and good likeness.

I just think it's kinda pale next to the stories that *could* come
pouring out.
Like the one about "Blind as a Bat" Buddy that took a wrong turn after
a thoroughly
awful stretch of traffic coming back from Tequila one night. That one
would include the threat I made to hire a Mexican kid to walk behind
him waving a flag, just for safety ya know.

I kept expecting him (and Bill as well at times) to run off into a
ditch.
I'm truely amazed that everyone got back alive.

 

wakko said in response to the Meh'ee'co Ride, of 2001: ''I kept
expecting him (and Bill as well at times) to run off into a ditch.
I'm truely amazed that everyone got back alive.


Unnnnhuh, even tha' more reason to git' back down there, on them
motorsickels, ya hear'a? (<g>) bj