Puncture

Whinging Courier wrote

You could reasonably expect me to be moderately successful with those as
I like both lots and have been doing them longer. Cakes I am fairly new
to and I am not that fond of fruit cake so I have no real idea of what
the target should be in terms of taste and texture. Although I do make
a wicked Christmas Pud so I might use the recipe for that as a basis.
Prepare to be experimented upon.

Now there is a nice number for playing shapes with.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, steve auvache amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

Well I was going to ask what goes in a fruit cake because all I've ever
done is let someone else worry about the ingredients while I got the
best bit of eating it.

Experiments are good and I don't mind taking part in an Auvache test
cake test.

Play away...

 

Whinging Courier wrote

One, some? You will be fucking happy with what you are given and if you
don't fucking like it hard fucking luck.

I am going out to get the bits later on, when has this got to be baked
for anyway?

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, steve auvache amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

Champ's jealous, who wouldn't be?

17th May. Get me some whores while you're out.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, steve auvache amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

Champ's jealous, who wouldn't be?

17th May. Get me some whores while you're out.

 

Whinging Courier wrote

I got some dates[1] if that is any use?



[1] Kin gobsmacking experience in Tescos that was. Amazing, the last
time I bought heavyweight cake stuff it was all three years old ,dried
and downright expensive. Wow you should see what is on the shelves
today. Shoppers paradise it is and sadly none of it available at my
local farm shop. Spanish Fruit and Dutch class B veg is all you get
there.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, steve auvache amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

Dates are good; pitted, of course

It's amazing what you find when you /actually/ go shopping isn't it? I
remember the last time I went shopping looking for something specific;
they had stuff in there I used to dream about!

That all sounds good, man. My guts are bubbling as we speak.

 

Things You Could Do Without Reading At This Time In The Morning, #83 in
a series of thousands.

 

Whinging Courier wrote

The operate word being the actually.

My regular trip round Tescos takes me past all the stuff I bought
yesterday and although I knew it was there I no idea about the
improvements in quality. I can now say for certain that stuff didn't
taste better in the good old days.

You are not going to like this much then. According to my gurus the
minimum assembly time for a Good fruit cake with home-made almond paste
glue and Royal Icing to cover is going to be a week and prolly more like
a tenday.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, steve auvache amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

I tend to buy the same stuff, too. It's only when I'm looking for
something specific I notice a lot of new stuff that I'd neglected
before.

Why am I not going to like that? It's more than ten days away...

How are you with sponges? They look good with one candle and don't take
nearly as long to put together. You don't also have to buy the third
world's amount of stuff to put in them.

 

Whinging Courier wrote

Look, you are getting a fucking Royal Icing decorated fucking fruit cake
and you will fucking like it ok. I have bought the bits, put a shilling
in the meter and cleaned out the cat's litter tray. I am Prepared.

I have abandoned early plans to make it bike shaped though, an
experiment too far and all that. Mind you, the fact I couldn't find a
piccie of your bike to base it on, which probably says more about my
google skills than anything else, didn't help the cause any.

No challenge though. Everybody kin raves about my Fairy Cakes.
Especially the ones with the "ginger" flavoured jam so what is the
point?

Doing me bit for world poverty ain't I? By buying all this fair trade
stuff produced by a lifetime of unrelenting sweat and toil under a
tropical sun by poor wog peasants I keep 17 3rd world poverty monitoring
organisations and 6 Panamanian registered charities in a job. It makes
me feel as though I have contributed something.

 

steve auvache says...

Lobbing the cake mixture at the wall would probably result in a fair
approximation of WCs bike.

 

mups wrote

Fair?? No we have already got the 36 candles for the realism side of
it, I am looking for something a bit, well a lot actually, more symbolic
to finish it off with.

 

A dead rat?

 

Krusty wrote

I did think of that as it goes but it doesn't really work for me.
Mainly because in some odd way that I really don't fully understand he
doesn't come across as yer archetypal rat biker type. Strange I know
but that is the way it is.

I was thinking more on the lines of a representational silhouette type
thing built from a few geometric shapes but the middle is quite complex
for a first try.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, steve auvache amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

You were the one going on about "you're not going to like it" or
whatever because it was going to take ten days. I have no problem with
fruit cake except if I eat to much it tends to make me shit[1]

To make a cake that looks like my bike would take dexterity indeed.

There's a couple of photos of it here. The best (left) side is
unphotographable because of the way it's parked (and I CBA to move it).
If you feel brave enough to try then fill yer boots[2]

www.whingingcourier.dsl.pipex.com/1front.jpg
www.whingingcourier.dsl.pipex.com/2cloacks&bars.jpg
www.whingingcourier.dsl.pipex.com/3bike.jpg
www.whingingcourier.dsl.pipex.com/4back.JPG

Indeed. You can also feel safe in the knowledge that it'll feed me for a
couple of days at least, too.

[1] And God knows I could do with a good clear out.
[2] Setting fire to the cake would probably yield good results.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, steve auvache amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

[mups said]

Heh.

[steve said]

When I worked at a dry cleaners and had my 18th birthday there, the
boyfriend of the manageress who was a chef, made me giant cock cake
complete with spunky icing.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, steve auvache amazed us all with this pearl of
wisdom:

You're bob on there, mate. My bike is more of an expression of riding
round London than the sort of person I am.

 

Did you swallow?

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, platypus amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

I'm afraid I did.