Probably knows the Queen too

Lozzo Knows Everybody
  Lozzo was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of
his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Lozzo how about Tom
Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and
his boss fly to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure
enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Lozzo! Great to see you! You and your
friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Lozzo's
boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Lozzo
that he thinks Lozzo's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Lozzo says. "President Obama," his boss
quickly retorts. "Yes," Lozzo says, "I know him, let's fly out to
Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Lozzo on
the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Lozzo, what a
surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend
come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the
boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they
leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Lozzo, who
again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Lozzo.
"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off
they fly to Rome. Lozzo and his boss are assembled with the masses in
Vatican Square when Lozzo says, "This will never work. I can't catch the
Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards
so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the
Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough,
half an hour later Lozzo emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by
the time Lozzo returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Lozzo asks him, "What happened?" His
boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came
out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the
balcony with Lozzo?"

 

Correction, my folks are Maltese. I don't personally know the Pope, but
my mum's cousin Arthur was a priest working in the Vatican until he
died three years ago... this is fact.

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer, CBR600F-W racebike in the making, TS250C, RD400F
(somewhere)
BMW E46 318iSE (it's a car, not one of those 2-wheeled pieces of shite
they churn out)

 

but the rest of it's correct, yeah?

 

Not really, It was Clinton.

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer, CBR600F-W racebike in the making, TS250C, RD400F
(somewhere)
BMW E46 318iSE (it's a car, not one of those 2-wheeled pieces of shite
they churn out)

 

Who's the stalker?

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 GTV TS GT 3.2 V6
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

Judging by the name and posting time, some cerebrally challenged septic
who can only recycle old shit jokes

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer, CBR600F-W racebike in the making, TS250C, RD400F
(somewhere)
BMW E46 318iSE (it's a car, not one of those 2-wheeled pieces of shite
they churn out)

 

heh - of course.

 

The Pope's Polish? I thought he was German.

Nice to see such an old joke recycled though.

 

And who didn't notice that current Pope is a Kraut, not a Pole.

 

On 01/08/2010 03:30, Mid-Night Rider wrote:

Anal creampie.

 

Mmm, lipsmackingly felchworthy.

 

Not me, probably because I don't give a **** about religion.

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer, CBR600F-W racebike in the making, TS250C, RD400F
(somewhere)
BMW E46 318iSE (it's a car, not one of those 2-wheeled pieces of shite
they churn out)

 

But you know God, innit?

 

The guy with a neon sign above his head, sitting on the right of Lozzo?

 

Why don't you just **** off, Webfoot?