Paranoid

Well, the first line of the song has new meaning for me. I can't even
get pissed 'cos I'm on anti-depressant medication. Whoop de fucking
doo.

 

DR said...

You'll have to post the lyrics, I can't understand a word the drugged up
Brummie twat's saying when he talks, let alone when he 'sings'.

 

<from memory>
"Finished with my woman because I can't get it up"

 

Congrats/commis as appropriate. There's a lot of it about.

"finished with my woman cos she could not help me with my mind"

 

DR wrote

As per the subject line:-

Clearing out the weeds behind the back of the shed I came across a brand
spanking new fire extinguisher that somebody had kindly lobbed over the
fence.

There has been some issues with the local kids lately and I know the
building site round the corner has enjoyed their attentions so I phoned
plod and told then it was there and asked if they wanted it as evidence
or summat.

10 minutes ago I get a phone call from my local bobby who has just come
on duty and "can he come round now?"

Well you can't really say no can you? So I have just had a frantic 5
minutes opening all the doors and windows and an empty of all the ash
trays and, for good measure, I put some bacon on to fry.

A nice young man he was and he even called me Sir and I get to eat a
bacon sandwich and I didn't get nicked for possession so my pot is half
full, at least. I don't suppose for a moment he was fooled.

 

Not their business is it?

A few months ago the Met called and asked if they could use my house to
mount a surveillence camera. As a good citizen, I naturally agreed. So
they identified the ideal window - my lodger's room. I went up to warn
him, knocked on his door, went in and - the smell. 2 plods just behind me.
They could not have possibly failed to notice. They appeared not to.

If they're not on that (pointless, and they know it) mission, they don't
care.

Regards, Ian

 

Join the club. Give it a couple of weeks & you can start to revel in
the sleepless nights too! That's when the real power of UKRM reveals
itself - something to do at 4am.


--
Krusty.

http://www.muddystuff.co.uk
http://www.muddystuff.us
Off-road classifieds

'02 MV Senna '03 Tiger (FOYRNB) '96 Tiger '79 Fantic 250

 

An ex of mine had some plods come round to ask if they could check the
suitability of her rear garden[1] for a surveillance point. As you say,
you can't really say no, so without thinking about it she dutifully
invited them in & took them through the house, then the conservatory -
which is where she did her cultivating. Nothing was said, but lots of
plants were destroyed the minute they left.

[1] No that isn't a euphamism.

--
Krusty.

http://www.muddystuff.co.uk
http://www.muddystuff.us
Off-road classifieds

'02 MV Senna '03 Tiger (FOYRNB) '96 Tiger '79 Fantic 250

 

Thought the last word was 'life' but I'm not sure that either makes more
sense than the other.

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
Alfa 116 Giulietta 3.0l (Really) Sprint 1.7 75 TS 156 TS S2
Triumph Speed Triple: Black with extra black bits
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

http://www.dabreakupsong.com/ [ws]

Break up with someone by song. Type a name and pick two reasons why you
are giving them the dump, then Lady Raptastic will make a song you can
listen to right away and/or send to them.

 

Krusty wrote

Many years ago a friend of mine moved to Hippy Mountain in The Republic.
A year or so after moving in and establishing themselves in the
community they were having a quiet beer in the pub and were joined by
the local copper. Chat ensued and the copper eventually got up to leave
and get on with his rounds. His parting shot apparently was on the
lines of, "Oh yes and you will note that it is common practice around
here to paint the inside of your greenhouse with white paint, if you
don't I will be forced to take notice of what you are growing in
there...." Which I thought was a very grown up attitude.

 

One could almost be unforgiven for thinking anything else at the mo.

 

Cool.

 

She didn't say what sort of porn. Quite a few women get off on gay
porn, for example.

--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2, IBB#10
`\|/`
`

 

*ding*

 

You're dinging for WiP? How do you know?

 

No, no, no, I would guess www.farmfun.com is more Nina's thing.

 

How annoying. The drop-down boxes don't populate after I select a name.
Great idea though.

 

Something similar happened at my school - some of the 6th form were
growing weed in the school greenhouse. One day a local copper came to
do one of their official 'serious talk to pupils about not breaking the
law' sessions and walked past the greenhouse on his way to the assembly
hall.
Apparently he made a fairly terse comment to the headmaster about
checking out the contents of the greenhouse and that he might like to
indulge in a little weed-control..

By the end of the day that greenhouse was totally empty. And drenched
in weedkiller.

Phil.

 

you should know better by now.