Paging the Lahore fans

Does she take your unopened pay packet?

Anyway 135% means nothing, you were missing a vital ingredient!

 

You've never fished, have you.

 

When he does it is with all the grace of an elephant and just as
unsuccessful.

 

<fondles dynamite>

 

Talk is we've had a "good" year this year.. but talk is alos of bonusses
no better than last year, and well under the 10% we're supposed to have
available for hitting targets... oh yes, that's right they seem to have
spent the profits on share buybacks again...

Odd how the share price always goes up artificially just before our
glorious leaders get their millions in free shares.

 

Champ secured a place in history by writing:

1% NI continues ad-infinitum...

 

*lawks*. What did it taste like, though?

 

Oh, I don't know - might catch the odd crocodile.

 

Why?

It's a private company and my bonus is derived from
the profit the company makes, to which I contribute.
When we don't make any profit, we don't get a bonus.
Our profit is solely derived from performance fees,
so again if we don't do a good job we get jack shit.

Admittedly for the last few years the bonus has been
53%, 96%, 128% and 135% this year, but there have been
times when it has been nothing at all, including no
payrises.

Besides, someone has to pay into the pot to pay to
prop up Railtrack when they pay the fine for doing
such a shit job...

 

Point of order: Railtrack was a plc, closed down by the gubmint to
save money.

You mean Network Rail.

 

Lush, especially the tandoori lamb chops.

 

What is this "bonus" of which you all speak?

 

It's like a more heavily taxed version of dividends.

 

Are you under the misapprehension that I am EKS?

 

Have you seen Champ's nose? I think a crocodile has already been
involved.

 

It appears that I am.

 

I stopped all that malarky in June 2006. I am a fully paid up (but
bonus-less!) corporate whore now.

 

I think you'll find it isn't, old chap.

 

The bit I work for is ;-)

 

clearly you mean something different by "private" than I do - unless
I'm very much mistaken shares in the californian fruitcake division
are publicly traded.