Paging the fat short blokes

Why do clothing manufacturers assume that because I have a pechant for
the pies that I must be 7'11"?

Popped into HG on the way home having got soaked too many times this
week and tried their "King" (fat bastard) suit and it was rather lovely
except for the knee armour was halfway down my shin.

Ah, why not try the "Crafty" trousers which are available in standard or
short. Brilliant, the right length, but didn't go round the gut. No
problem, they do them in larger sizes sir... except they don't do the
larger (ok largest) waist size in the short length, only the standard.

At the moment I'm edging towards the King and binning the ankle armour,
but am open to suggestions

 

http://triponic.com/guidestutorials/life/exercises-for-the-knees-to-grow-taller/
??

 

I wear a pair of Swift winter trousers. Legs not too long and they go
around my gut in XXL. Baggy enough to fit over work trousers. I do have a
32" inside leg, mind. Bought ages ago from Busters, reduced in their sale
to £25.

My problem is jackets. Short neck & short arms means it takes ages to find
a jacket that fits. The HG Cruise is okay but a little tight around my
throat and too constricting with the padded collar.

 

Next time I see you, I'm going to sit on you.

 

My problem is my 27-28" inside leg. You fat lanky bastards have got it easy!

Agreed

 

Well said Brother Si. When we get a thin bloke to catch him, what end do
you want to sit on?

 

You seemed so normal....

 

Finally, you got something right.

 

The "Cruise" with a constricting collar. Yes... "The David Carradine
Special"

--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

Mungo "Two Sheds" Toadfoot posted:

I will vote for you.

 

I've known people to knock them in the past, but I've been very happy with
the stuff I bought from JTS. They do all sorts of odd sizes for those of us
with non skeleton proportions.

http://www.jtsbikerclothing.com/html/home.shtml

 

Someone had opened an XL rainsuit in Lidl today so I had a look. German XL
blokes must be of a slighter build than British XL because it was too small
for me with only a tee shirt and jeans on and I don't think I'm particularly
huge [1]

1. Not slim, somewhat porky, but not huge.

--
Malc

Rusted and ropy.
Dog-eared old copy.
Vintage and classic,
or just plain Jurassic:
all words to describe me.

 

12XL! Blimey.

In the end, having discovered that the ankle armour was relocatable to
nearer my knees, I went for the HG suit. I decided that if I didn't just
buy the one I quite liked, I could easily spend the next 2 years
looking, and the weather forecast for next week isn't good.