Paging: Our Man in France

Did you happend to stumble across that lappy hard drive? bit of a daft
question really... sounds like you have had a busy week, been following your
exploits

D

 

Des is not "Our man". If he's appointed himself "Our man," then he's an
even bigger twat than I thought.

HTH.
--
Cab :^) - almost as fast as G.i.n.g.e.
GSX 1400 - 'Tarts Handbag' (tm) Bike, dead 550/4 Rat
UKRMMA#10 (KoTL), IbW#015, Bob#4, POTM#3

email addy : cab_dot_ukrm_at_rosbif_dot_org

 

Not my words:

"UKRM's Man in France
Yamaha YZF-R1 | BMW K100-LT"

D

 

Is any part of that sig actually true?

 

Champ says...

I'm willing to bet he does actually own a BMW....and I can't help but
laugh about that. I don't like Des, but I do feel sorry for him in some
strange way now. No-one deserves a BMW as punishment for being a ****.

 

Ooh I've been there!

D

 

Bollocks. Cab and Ace live in France.

 

Oh, dear. Here we go.

AFAIC, Des is not *my* maninfrance and therefore cannot describe
hisself as he does - he is assuming an appointment for which he would
require a unanimous vote of all posters to this newsgroup, past and
present.

I have no doubt that he will petulantly disagree.

 

If someone lives and works in a country and owns property there I
don't think that makes them a tourist.

If you do, you undermine your self-appointed "intelligent" status.

 

says...

Shame about the helmet, I try hard not to leave bike kit anywhere where
it can be stolen or damaged.

As for the BMW...

<opens new little black book>

 

says...

Check kill switch.

If that's OK then open the throttle wide, if it has one leave the choke
off as if the engine is already warmed up, press starter button for a
few seconds. If it doesn't catch then leave the throttle open and try
again for a few seconds. Repeat.

If the engine still won't fire after 4 attempts then get a man in.

 

I think the kill switch kills everything.

It's an injection bike so the choke is a fast idle.

I'd:
1. Check all fuses, it could well be that the injection control or the
igniter doesn't have a feed. Fuses are under the LHS panel- blade
types. There's a row of about 8 of them running vertically under a
plastic cover.

2. When the starter is churned listen for the fuel pump running (it's
inside the tank)- this makes a 'whine' constantly.

3. Remove a spark plug, place it on the head and turn it over, look for
a spark. If there is one smell for petrol, it should be a *strong*
smell.


Spark plugs are on the LHS of the engine, behind the black panel marked
'BMW' on the head (secured by 3 allen bolts).

If there isn't a spark I'd check the connections around the coils
(behind a black plastic cover secured by four allen-bolts) on the LHS of
the engine (same side as the spark plugs).

If there isn't a smell of fuel, I'd firstly check the fuel pump is
running (open the tank when you churn it over, that will let you hear it
more clearly).

If the fuel pump's running I'd remove the LHS side panel and remove the
connection to the 'black box' on top of the battery; this is the
'motronic' fuel injection control. I'd then simply reconnect it.

I'd put my bet on a fuel related fault.

 

Heh. It's not as if we care what he thinks, though. And I think he's a
second-class, non-property owning immigrant, so we can both look down
on him. From so many different levels

 

You and I can raise a glass to him, sitting around your pool, in
France in about ten days. Am looking forward to it.

 

Ben Blaney bored us all completely to death with wittery prose along
the lines of:

26th Aug. Bollox. I'm off to Jordan just after that.

--
Cab :^) - almost as fast as G.i.n.g.e.
GSX 1400 - 'Tarts Handbag' (tm) Bike, dead 550/4 Rat
UKRMMA#10 (KoTL), IbW#015, Bob#4, POTM#3

email addy : cab_dot_ukrm_at_rosbif_dot_org

 

I'll be at Ace's gaff on the 28th; my maths was out.

 

Jolly good. Spent half of yesterday tinkering with the Honda - I'll
miss that, you know, even though I hardly ever ride it. Have to find
something else I can disappear into the garage to do ;-)

Realised that although I'd got a new oil filter about a year ago I'd
never fitted it, so did an oil change and cleaned it up while I was
about it. Even got round to lubing the rev counter cable so it doesn't
jump around any more.

For your interest, since I've had it it's had:

New Koni shocks
Braided front brake lines &
Overhauled front caliper, new pads etc.
New points
New plugs
Oil and Air filters
Lots of TLC

Overall it's a much better bike than when I got it, which is probably
a first for me.

 

Get some porn.

That's excellent - thanks.

Fucking ace, Ace.

 

Ben Blaney bored us all completely to death with wittery prose along
the lines of:

Even worse.

--
Cab :^) - almost as fast as G.i.n.g.e.
GSX 1400 - 'Tarts Handbag' (tm) Bike, dead 550/4 Rat
UKRMMA#10 (KoTL), IbW#015, Bob#4, POTM#3

email addy : cab_dot_ukrm_at_rosbif_dot_org

 

Out of interest Ben, once you've bought the Honda, what are you going to do
with it (I assume you are not taking it back to the middle east, or maybe
you are).