Paging Andrew R - is your desk tidy?

I read this and thought of you

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/6230629.stm

"Black tape has been put on civil servants' desks to show them where to
put their pens.
The pilot exercise at National Insurance offices in Longbenton, North
Tyneside, is part of a UK-drive to encourage staff to tidy their desks."

IIRC you do or have worked at the Longbenton complex. Is this the
system you have invented that only you understand? ;-)

I particularly liked this :-

"But a PCS spokesman said: "The tape idea illustrates the madness of the
Lean project.

"The scheme is demoralising and demeaning. Staff know how to order their
desks themselves.

"We had a situation in some offices in Scotland where staff were asked
'Is that banana on your desk active or inactive?', meaning were they
going to eat it?

"If not, it had to be cleared away."

I shall have to keep going to the kitchen tomorrow to ensure my coffee
cup remains in an active state all morning.

 

Paul Corfield wrote:

How do you manage to restrain yourself when anyone asks you a question
that stupid ?

Thinking about it, if you just didn't try to restrain yourself, and
they got punched hard everytime they asked someone something so
amazingly inane they might learn.

Is that an active banana ?

Yeah, well.. it would be.. but you appear to have one stuffed up either
nostril already... hang on.. I know.. turn around for a minute...

 

How the **** does this shit get financial backing? Unbelievable, yet
strangely believable.

 

At a british gas site I visited there was a sign on the entrace to the loo
saying that there was a hazard.
The sign went on to explain that the hazard was that someone might stand in
front of the door to read the warning sign and be hit when the door is
opened........

They also had a thirty point checklist to ensure that your desk was
ergonomically and environmentally correct and you were supposed to review
this every hour......

--
Alex

"I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away"

www.drzoidberg.co.uk www.ebayfaq.co.uk

 

"It's transitional."
"Huh?"
"It's in an intermediate state, moving from constrained-passive to
dynamic-local-complete."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're making the basic error of looking at it as simply a banana in common
time, rather than considering how it exists within a structured and
progressive continuum."
"What?"
"When the temporal variable gives a resultant of fulfilled from a
pre-existing potential condition, then the occupied locus you have labelled
'banana' becomes prime, and I eat it for my lunch. Why do you want to
know?"

Then he punches me, hard.

 

You'd have to imagine that somewhere there's a consultant laughing his
ass off while he counts his cash. It's the only thing I can think of
that makes any sense.

Two consultants go out on the lash, get into a stupid game of
one-up-manship and three weeks later everyone has a memo saying that
only front-to-back wiping is acceptable in the company bogs.

The one that made me first boggle at work was a 'How to walk up the
stairs safely' poster. Half-way up the bloody stairs.
No idea where to start with that one.

Latest one, "Women - you don't have to put up with domestic violence -
you are not alone" - fair enough you might think, but it's on the
inside of a gents toilet cubicle door.

Semi-amusingly, however, our new workplace bogs have a sign on the door
that read 'Switch off when leaving'.

 

I'm in St. James' hospital in Leeds right now, and they have those signs
inside the gents.

 

I'm waiting for our Health & Safety Loony to start doing this.

I mean, my desk has already been officially certified by her as a
Hazardous Area. This is the next step.

 

Please wipe your laptop after posting.

 

Heh.

 

We had some daft ones appear in the same place at a place I used to
work, so I replaced them all with ones saying things like "Remember to
wipe" and "Please check for worms". They only lasted until a director
went for a shit.

 

What happened to the petrol can?

 

She never actually found it, which disappointed me slightly. So I
removed it before Christmas. At some point I might put it back, in a
slightly more obvious place. Like on top of my desk.

 

Yeah, and? In large parts of Asia that's still condidered a normal way
to use these new-fangled water-closet type toilets.

--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3 (slightly broken, currently missing)
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2, IBB#10
`\|/`
`

 

Yes, I know. Probably why they have the sign. They're trying to
westernize them.

 

Fucking cultural imperialists.

 

Wrong bit of Longbenton for me, I hang out with a different agency.

However, it does seem reasonable to expect only one person to understand
that system.

 

HTF do they think they can actually impose that?

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
Alfa 116 Giulietta 3.0l (Really) Sprint 1.7 75 TS 156 TS S2
Triumph Speed Triple: Black with extra black bits
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

They'll just jackboot the door in


--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
Alfa 116 Giulietta 3.0l (Really) Sprint 1.7 75 TS 156 TS S2
Triumph Speed Triple: Black with extra black bits
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

A place I once worked at had the gents toilet next to the MDs office.

If you stood on the toilet, lifted a tile of the suspended ceiling and
put your head into the roof void you could hear some of the discussion
in the MDs office.