Ow.

One of the great unwritten rules of the workshop is:

"Thou shalt not play with swarf".

But it's so *shiny*. It *wants* to be played with, the minx.

Anyway, I managed to cut my finger whilst clearing a (stationary) drill.
So I toddled off into the kitchen, cleaned my mitts, and got the first
aid kit out. Got a roll of plaster and the scissors and...

...then I cut myself with the scissors.

Bugger. I think I shall suspend operations for the day before I
accidentally decapitate myself.

 

Indeed. but of course you did. didn't you?

knew it.

Good move.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Nigel Eaton said:

A mate of mine at school managed to **** his fingers by pulling swarf
out of a lathe while the chuck was going full guns.

<wince>

 

DIAABTCOD?

 

I don't really find that sexy, but I suppose some people must do.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Ben Blaney said:

I saw the aftermath. His fingers never were straight again and he used
to scare girls with them at parties.

 

Previously on usenet, Whinging Courier said...

Mine do that, but not for the same reasons

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Lozzo said:

Before or after you've taken the grease off?

I once stuck my hand in a girl's knickers after just oiling my chain

 

I don't really find that sexy, but I suppose some people must do. [0]



[0] I wonder if I can use only this reply in this thread? And I wonder
if my "joke" will go *whoooosh* every time, like it did with WC.

 

Saw a girl lose a finger[1] trying that with a high speed auto lathe.
The job was to keep the lath bed clear of swarf whilst it was running
by using a rake[2]. For some reason she reached in with her hand, the
lathes turning at >1000rpm, the finger is disintegrated.

[1] well more accurately I saw her run about screaming with blood
spurting from her hand.
[2] 60cm handle with a triangle of metal on the end.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That's a euphemism right?

 

Not really daft enough.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Boots Blakeley said:

In a manner of speaking ;-)

I'd completed a mild service on my TS50x and had to travel a few miles
to Bolney; a village near my home town. I was met by the swarf guy at
her house afterwards funnily enough. Anyway, before he arrived we did
the "oiling my chain" bit (my girlfriend, not Simon) and he conveniently
arrived some moments after. Just as he came through the door, Christine
saw the muck (grease and oil) on my hands and screamed a delightful
scream. Me and Simon looked at each other and laughed our bloody heads
off.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Boots Blakeley said:

Yeah. this happened at school during a lesson. I remember the teacher
crying out "why me!" hehh ;-)

Anyway, I never really saw too much as he was rushed to hospital but the
result was a couple of fingers that were (are) more scar tissue than
skin and aren't straight. Poor bugger, he used to shoplift stuff in the
sling afterwards..

Well quite. I think Simon might have had a screw loose as he use to take
great joy in sticking a chuck key into the chuck and then turning the
lathe on! Fucking maniac.

Then there's the great mirth we used to have with knives...

 

Previously on usenet, Whinging Courier said...

I used to buy parts for my BMW 5 series' from Bolney Motors

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Lozzo said:

Bolney Motor Works?

You must've spoken to Tim and Jason then. How long ago?

 

Previously on usenet, Whinging Courier said...

Many many years ago. I sold the '85 E28 528i in 1991 after 3 years, and
I had the '81 E12 518 in 1987/8. I used them for parts for both cars,
cos they broke good decent cars and shelved all the parts.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Lozzo said:

I stopped going in there at around 1991-1992.

I used to do their next day mail order deliveries

 

Can you imagine the form filling necessary, especially now.

<NODS> Seen it done accidently twice, once stopped the lathe by
catching against the bed, the other flew across the room. A mate of
mine at the same place where the girl was injured used to use a
compressed air gun to spin a nut on a bit of rod. Once it reached max
speed he'd pull the rod away and let the spinning nut hit the ground.

 

# Why'd I have to and get myself decapitated?
# This really is a major incovenience
# Oh man I really hate it
# Such a drag now
# Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
# I can't belch or yodel any more

--

Dave

GS 850 x2 / SE 6a
SbS#6 DIAABTCOD#16 APOSTLE#6 FUB#3
FUB KotL OSOS#12? UKRMMA#19