Our survey says BMWs are unreliable

I was collecting my RS this evening and having sorted out the paper work, I
was getting kitted up out the front of reception when a guy came out and
started getting ready to leave on his GS, which he was collecting.

He stopped for a moment and wondered over to me. The conversation went
something like:

Him: "How are you getting on with that?"

Me: "It's an unreliable heap of junk."

Him: "Yeah. So's mine. I've had three major problems. If I have another
I'm going to dump it outside the shop and stop the payments."

Me: "Yep. Mine's been off the road three times too and I've only just done
6000 miles."

Him: "I'm sick of it. Whenever it rains it just stops. Water in the
electrics. Look at it, it's supposed to be an off road bike and I can't
even get it wet."

We stood there and bitched about our bikes for a while and cursed the German
bastards for building such enticing garbage.

Swearing a return to the Jap fold, we went on our merry way.

 

Nice words, bad move though, finance companies are cunts!

I did say something when you 1st indicated an intention. BMW bikes
post 1990ish are rather shite IMHO. The BMW cars lost their shining
reliability around 94.

'Hog

 

Justification for keeping my K-RS a bit longer just made

Although I really do want an R1100S

--
Steve Parry
K100RS SE & F650
and a 520i SE Touring for comfort


(not forgetting the SK90PY)

http://www.gwynfryn.co.uk

 

Him: "Yeah. So's mine. I've had three major problems. If I have another

You say that, I bought a reasonably expensive [1] kitchen from Moben. It
starting falling off the wall [2]. Moben [3] really dragged their heals but
a quick note to the finance company saying I wasn't paying anything more
until it was fixed properly produced a satisfactory outcome pretty quickly.

[1] for me
[2] whole cabinet fell off the wall where my year old nephew had been
sitting two minutes previously.
[3] I'll never buy anything from them again

 

My first new Merc, an M reg., was a pile of poo too.
What happened in 1994? The invasion of the accountants?

 

The real financial impact of reunification set in?

--
Steve Parry
K100RS SE & F650
and a 520i SE Touring for comfort


(not forgetting the SK90PY)

http://www.gwynfryn.co.uk

 

I don't think BMW have made a truly reliable flat twin since the days
of the old airhead boxers. The modern ones have been plagued with
problems.

This is rather good tactics. You are entitled to take action against
the finance house if you want. when I bought a load of computer kit
from Mac Warehouse, and some of it was duff, and their customer service
people didn't want to know (to put it mildly), I informed the finance
people, as I'd boughti t on 0% finance, that I was witholding payment
until they sorted it.

Which they did. Amazingly quickly.

 

Did you ****! I never expressed an interest here before parting with my
cash.

 

I've just taken delivery of my R1200RT this afternoon, so I hope it
won't be blighted as you suggest (and if it is, you can read about it
here in ukrm). The 1150RT I just p/x'd gave 27k reliable miles, with a
circlip on the glove box the only think to break (fixed under
warranty).

 

Most of the non-tourer stuff is distinctively styled and pretty good looking
and the specs are good: shaft drive, electronic ignition, cruise control,
ABS, servo-assisted brakes, axle-less rear wheel.

It' a shame they're slow, heavy and disintegrate when you touch them.

 

I was in an office this week, the guy had a picture on his wall of him
riding a Pan, on the Honda Test Track in the UK. (He did tell me the
location, but I have forgot)
I asked him how come ? He explained that when the plods used BMW, They
had the latest model on Test, "giving it some" one day on the motorway,
the gearbox on the BM blew up...good style, the rear wheel locked, and
the guy that was riding it was lucky to survive. Mr German sent up a
vehicle to collect it, and take it away for examination. Our German
friend was not happy........"We have NEVER seen this done to one of our
machines, its because of all the equipment you put on it. Not our
engineering. "
Meanwhile the UK marketing manager for Honda gets wind of this, and
explains the problem to the jap, the jap goes away, thinks about it,
and ............designs the Pan European, specifically designed for use
by UK Police Forces, Apparently so I am told, a perfect bike when
kitted up, Heavy but with precise balance....So alls well and good.
BUT...this same UK marketing manager, is speaking to the London
Ambulance Service, and the female paramedics that ride that bikes
say.."Yeah..its a great bike, but its to big for us, we cant reach the
floor when sat on it..." So...What you using now..says Mr UK Marketing
Manager ? (I cant remember I was told) so....Mr UK, speaks to Mr Jap,
and the "Baby Pan" is born, Better Known as the Deuville (sp).
I spent a fascinating hour with the guy, and know what I am riding next
year, and it AINT BMW !

 

Moben are a bunch of cunts, also. However, they ain't German just
'cause they have an umlaut in their name. It's a (reasonably) clever
marketing ploy that suckers a lot of people.

Not so long ago I had a close encounter of the Moben kind. Guy turns up
at agreed time, measures up a bit and then proceeds to discuss the
various choices and options, etc.

All fine and dandy until he starts with the "This deal is only good for
today" shit followed by 'phone calls to his "manager" to see if a
special deal could be done. Yeah, right.

Long story short, it took us an hour just to get the **** out the flat
and only then after signing over a deposit cheque (cancelled almost
immediately after he left).

Bit of Googling revealed just what a shower of shit they truly are.
Narrow escape, that.

 

Wik emerged from their own little world to say

I find flirting with them gets rid of 90% fairly rapidly.

The other 10% is a bonus.

 

Beav scribbled on the back of a napkin:

That's not exactly news, they've been on the somewhat clunky side since
they went from four speeders to five speeders. In the mid seventies,
that was.

That is complete and utter bollox, that is. My GSA has servo brakes
(because I couldn't get ABS without them any more) and the main
difference is that with the servo on, braking becomes a single-finger
operation. But somehow I expect that people said exactly the same when
they started putting servos on cars...

Granted, the finish ain't that good.

You got this wrong, the Rockster looks really 'orrible

 

LOL!!!!!

 

It was ever thus. It's a design feature.
My R100/7 threw away top gear twice separated by about 40k. It's a great
feeling 0230, deserted(ish) autobahn, unearthly howl just south of bollocks.
Change down, motor on to friendly local BMW dienst who smilingly remove
contents of (my) wallet.

 

Truly brilliant.

 

Beav, Beav.... get your eyes tested, ffs.

 

Made me grin a bit, as well......

 

I can't imagine a situation where that would arise. Had I had enough I'd
politely insist he left, should he refuse I'd phone the police and get
him removed from the house.