OT Singing from a Different Hymn Sheet.

So this afternoon I had De Bro on the phone and after far too long
sorting out what it was he wanted I found he was in fact really and
truly singing from a different hymn sheet as he was using the 2003
catalogue. That minor communication problem solved we concluded our
business and I set about sending him a new one. He is hard enough work
anyway without making it any harder so this is really a My Time saving
move on my part. I does battle with Jayne's filing system for a few
minutes and eventually found her stash of Catalogues onna CD and spent
about twice as long again swearing at the franking machine for non
compliance and eventually ended up with an envelope in the out tray with
a CD with me business card stapled to it inside and a 2nd class stamp on
the outside and a bit of sellotape holding the self sticky flap thing
better than it holds itself. Two minutes later I was sitting there
honing me nose to a fine point and McDuff turns up "Aye ahoo the noo ye
couldnich be dwin detin wit detin the noo ahiy hpoo the noo ye
kenockeye" He grunted. "Why not?" says I, "ahay ahoo the noo the
postienoo gang sever trouble yeken on acoontoyay dwin detin wi detin
afore taymarra ahoo the noo ye kenockayee" "Really?" says I "that is
just stupid that is, what does it matter which day I put the stamp on
it, is going 2nd class as long as it arrives who gives a shit when it
arrives?"

Apparently Royal Mail do and I can get somebody badly scored by when I
decide to put a stamp on a letter. Next time I see our postie I must
remind him that I drink single malt.

 

Are you /sure/ that was a good idea?


--
Krusty
www.MuddyStuff.co.uk
Off-Road Classifieds

'02 MV Senna '03 Tigtona 955i '96 Tiger '79 Fantic Hiro 250

 

Fucking right it was. They have spelt me name right and I want the
world to know that it can be done if you care to try.

 

As often as I can between now and christmas I suppose.

 

But won't your Bro need another catalogue now?

 

He is De Bro not my Bro and he needs..., well it is hard to say what his
needs are really but if it involves anything approaching education then
he needs it. Others despair of him but I consider him my client now and
that means an end to him being a pain in the arse who won't take notice
of what he is told and thus potentially more profitable which in turn
helps offset the fact that I am a non chargeable resource and I am going
to make him a shining example of the finest needlepoint required to turn
out silk purses from sows ears. He may not be gods gift to cable pulling
but judging by the amount of kit he buys he is quite the salesman and
given that he is selling into a market where our slightly waspish reps
dare not venture an asset worth fostering.

 

<snip> Drivel.

I tell you what this job is a fucking culture shock for me and no
mistake. I am loving every minute of it mind but man is it different.
Today for example. I have got this trip to the seaside coming up and it
turns out that we have to book our own travel and stuff. I are not used
to this. I are used to having departmental admin assistants that do
this sort of stuff.

Then the adventure begins. Types "Billericay Balenthia Travel Rail"
into google and after a bit of clicking here and there was rewarded with
a 23hr[1] trip in pullman for what appeared to be about 200 quid.
Sounds cool. 3 times what they say they pay to go Steerage wiv Stavros
but I shall be reminding them that mine don't include a fifty quid taxi
and tip at beginning and end and I don't have to fly[2]. No I don't
object to flying it scares the shits out of me but not all the time, I
just don't want to do it and part of my argument is that I do not wish
to lend support to the airlines and if it costs me a fucking day in
pullman I can live with it. I get an hour off somewhere in somewhere
where I can do a bit of shopping and take a photo of the local church.
Turns out it is out Monday and back Friday is what they do and the
training is only three days? "Beg pardon," says I. Three days is not
quite what I was expecting from "A Week in Balenthia." It is not
technically difficult but it is sound and has a useful tool set. In
many respects it is like C, approach it right and you can do all sorts
of shit. FFS I have got three days worth of bloody questions.
Especially as it is going to include half a day of shaking hands with
what were hitherto email addys.



[1] Actually I think it works out to 24/22 out/back.

[2] I might need a bit of help with this please ukrm, can any of you
experts get it down to about <150 and still have me resting me head on a
doily and being fed breakfast by flunkies in white cotton jackets?