OT Rant: QA/ISO9000 internal audit. (Whoopee).

It might just have well been a fucking full-on thorough body cavity search,
as an internal QA audit today. It would appear that my technical department
have "a recurring lack of adherence to company quality procedures".
Apparently we have mortally sinned (again) and have " a cavalier attitude to
our well established ISO9000 plan for..." yadda yadda....
*Fucking* stroll on!
Our jobsworth QA guy looks just like Wallace, wears sleeveless pullovers in
35degC ambient, still lives at home with mum at age ~55 and probably has
never even *heard* of a 'hairy clam', but *Jesus* has he made my life hell
for the next few weeks. I have to now file many "Corrective Action Reports"
on each and every transgression; Copy all and fucking sundry on my "new and
improved action plan" to remedy the situation and atone for my deparment's
heinous crime.
ISO9000 sucks dead dog's dicks. (often).

JB

<rant over>

<sounds of Stella 'Grande' being opened>

 

You've seen *nothing* until you found by mistake that a certain
company was illegally selling certain elements of an insurance policy
and the FSA find out while it's being corrected.

 

LOL. Welcome to my world.

I had audit scourging me anyway, then

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarbanes-Oxley

happened.

P.

 

I take it you work for Merkins? I don't know which is worse. I very nearly
worked for GE but I got out before the takeover thank Christ.
The poor bastards who 'remained behind' are now tied up in sooooooo much red
tape, they can't take a dump without a "Project Action Plan".
JB

 

I was an IT trainee when I found out that certain Spanish bank did not
account properly some 40 million quid. "Impossible young fellah, they
(the Bank of Spain or central authority) would cut or balls if we did
so..." "ok, could we have a look at the accounting application, sir?"

The experience of driving into panic people who earn 15 times as much
as you is priceless...

 

"The job's not finished till the paperwork's done."

IYSWIM.


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You only need work for a company listed on the NYSE to fall under the
remit of SOX. It's a fucking pain.

It's also taken increasingly serious with the NatWest 3.

 

@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com>,
() says...

I've been EKS through the same agency for about 14 months now.

A couple of weeks ago, out of the blue arrived two emails from
the agency ordering me to provide proof of my id, and contact
details of two professional referees.

When I rang up and queried what was going on, they blamed
Sarbanes-Oxley. When I queried some more, they admitted they'd
had proof of my id but had lost it. Agencies, dontchajustluvvem.

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Wellllllllll

these aren't the only problems with getting the accreditation. I'm
coordinating my division's attempt at passing the audit, and to be
honest the major obstacle is that senior management aren't properly
taking part in it. It's seen as a form-filling exercise, something that
can just happen invisibly, and magically the company will become
accredited without any real change in working practices.

Guess who's leaving their job soon

 

Having worked for the company as a temp for the last eight years (1)
Dave was called to the agency office to be told that if he didn't provide
proof of identity
then he would not be working on Monday.(2)

Agencies - ijustluvvem

(1) One of them Oxymorons innit
(2) One of them regular morons.

This from an agency just 'slapped' for employing forty six illegal
immigrants in a local factory.

 

Someone Here
() says...

Indeed. Discussing it at work, we concluded the sudden need for
passport photocopies was probably due to fear of immigration
status crackdowns. "We need this photocopy to cover our arses."

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Would it make you feel any better if I said I don't even know what ISO9000
means?


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

Well, you know what iso-octane is; ISO9000 is *just* a bit longer...

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