OT not poisoning them in the park

http://www.surreycomet.co.uk/news/l...ksman_called_in_to_kill_kingstons_pigeons.php

Standard we're going to shoot pigeons story - until you get to the
comments, enjoy.

 

I did. Though I do wonder whether it's for real.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Work in progress

By God, there are some days I'm proud to be British.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Podium Placed Ducati Race Engineer as featured in
Performance Bikes and Fast Bikes

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha Vmax Honda ST1100 wiv trailer

 

Mad. Barking, covered in excrement, howling at the moon, mad.

For those that have not read it, a sample;

"What a lot of fuss over nothing. Everyone knows pigeons cant be killed,
they are immortal and immune to bullets. Where I come from we worship
the pigeon deity and never look them in the eye as this can turn a man
to stone."

Although "Kill them with axes" had a sort of genteel brevity about it.

 

I think either Platy or WUN have been posting

" I took hold of her and brought her home, hungry and a little
thinner, but safe and sound. I gave her a werthers original and a ride
on my stairlift."

Or the "gas them like badgers"

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Work in progress belched forth and ejected the
following:

Brilliant!

 

A colleague told me a good pigeon control story from xxxxxx District
Council. They were assured that a bit of falconry in the town square
would scare them off. No need to actually kill anything as just one look
at a bird of prey would be enough. Press and photo opportunity arranged
and civic dignitaries gathered. Falconer reveals bird (can't remember
exactly what raptor) and a lot of pigeons fly off but many remain
unimpressed. Bird duly released supposedly to just flap about a bit in a
suitably threatening manner and return to base[1] Hawk goes straight for
the nearest flying rat and takes it out in an explosion of feathers
right in front of the Lady Mayoress and the cameras. End of project.

[1] No doubt a falconer will tell me this is bollocks, but that was what
was claimed allegedly.

--

+-------------------------------------------------------------+
| Pete Fisher at Home: |
| Voxan Roadster Gilera Nordwest Yamaha WR250Z |
| Gilera GFR Moto Morini 2C/375 |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

 

"Would it not be possible for Mrs Dallinger's rigidly endowed husband
to humanely kill these flying rats by clubbing them to death with his
viagra gorged tally-wacker?"

LMFAO

 

I was at the Bird of Prey place near Andover a couple of years ago and
during the display with a peregrine falcon, it flew off towards a clump
of trees and shortly afterwards, a flurry of grey feathers was spotted
as it did exactly what falcons do!

 

That's the one that made me chuckle.

 

I think this is the best one:-

Dear Margaret.

As you can see I've finally mastered this email thing!

Sue and John came to visit today, which was nice, and it was Sue who taught
me how to use the email.

I shall be writing to you often now that I have figured it out.

Please send my love to Helen and the boys.

See you soon

Love

Mum
xxx

 

Same here at the wildlife park in Suffolk [1]. They were
doing the falcon display and had let the falcon go and
do it's "high up bombing run" thing when a pidgeon flew
across the display area. The woman said "uh-oh" into
her mic just as the falcon swooped and the pidgeon
exploded into a ball of feathers.

It got a round of applause from the crowd.

[1] it has animals, not the people of Suffolk in it.

 

Point of clarification. I thought perhaps they idea that a falconer
might be able to prevent his bird going in to attack mode might be
bollocks. From what you and CT have said I guess it is.

 

I saw a pair of rooks harrying a hawk of some sort last year. It was
impressive as the trio ascended to some height; then the hawk got a bit
pissed off and struck at one of the pursuing pair. Down it came in a
spin, just like a shot down fighter. Oddly enough, the remaining rook
was stupid enough to carry on the pursuit, but I lost sight of them.

 

"The Surrey Comet would like to thank all of our visitors who left
comments on this story. Many comments were obviously heartfelt and
others humorous and the issue has clearly sparked a lot of interest -
but the debate has now been closed."

Boo, hiss. Rotten spoilsports.

 

Eh? I can still see them. Posts, not pidgeons that is.

 

They've put some of them back now. But not the best ones. Archive.org
is your friend.

 

True. I went to Google cache for the rest.