OT and yo-ho-ho: canal boats

If someone dangles a rope invitingly from a bridge, do not be tempted to
think "I know, I'll climb up the rope, cross the bridge and drop back
onto my boat; what a jolly jape"...

.... as you will find yourself sliding down the rope, burning your hands,
as the boat disappears leaving only the cold, filthy, water beneath.

DAMHIKIJK, OK

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, M J Carley

Because you are very, very stupid.

HTH.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "He's hopeless, but he's honest"

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Avoid? I thought the whole point was to actively court them.

 

With flowers and chocolates?

 

Winding handle for what???

 

LOL.

You know, I'm slightly surprised at the number and variety of responses
to the OP. This must be one of those activities that appeals to the
collecive ukrm soul.

 

The lock gates.

 

Ah! I always thought the handles were part of the lock mechanism. Didn't
know you had to bring your own.

 

The local yoof would have every single lock open within hours if the handles
were left in place.

 

Don't lose the winding handle in a winding hole.

 

http://www.supermagnete.de/eng/magnets.php?group=blocks_big

A bit cheaper and you can stick small children to fridges with them.

 

snip>

It's a wonderful opportunity to sit in the sun and get pissed all day.

If you arrive at a lock and give the appearance of being absolutely
smashed then other boat owners will rush to get you through the lock
and out of their way before you can do any damage to their pride and
joy. This usually means they'll do all the winding and rope management
giving you the opportunity to have another beer and raise their fear
factor even higher.

 

Ah yes. Indeed.

 

As TOG (TVMOG?(1)) said: Activities that appeals to the collective ukrm
soul.

(1) As he is approaching Auvache in age: The Very Much Older Gentleman.

 

The chandler beside the bridge in Stratford sells such magnets.

The Avon is navigable and worth a go if the boat rental agreement allows.
The first pub is The Four Alls in Welford, which was very good
in antediluvian times (i.e. last June).

On the Stratford canal, the Fleur De Lys was excellent last time I went,
although that was a decade ago.

 

And a big magnet on a line, to dangle into the lock and collect all the
keys other people have dropped. Should produce enough scrap metal to pay
for the entire trip.

Doesn't work with these new-fangled ally ones, mind.

 

Have a shit in the pub [1].

Get up at 4 in the morning and piss on a very startled duck[2].

This worked for me.

HTH

--
Chris H,
FZS1000, two#55
He's predictable, but that's to be expected.
Please remove the numbers to reply

[1] ..in a toilet. Otherwise the Landlord will be upset and this may
reduce the availability of beer.
[2] Don't fall in because the duck will not keep you afloat. If you do
fall in, don't swallow as you're now swimming in your own piss.

 

"It's sterile and I like the taste"

 

It's not your own urine you need to worry about.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leptospirosis

 

http://www.waterscape.com/things-to-do/pubs-and-restaurants

IIRC the Stratford upon Avon postcode is CV37 .