Oh bollocks . . . .

Discussion in 'UK Motorcycles' started by Buzby, May 22, 2005.

  1. Buzby

    Ben Blaney Guest

    Exactly as I remember it.
    Ditto.

    I was annoyed that it was too risky for them to let me take my (new)
    gear off [0], but that it was fine, two minutes later, for the doctor
    to roll me onto my side and finger my arse, the fucking pervert.[1]



    [0}
    Nurse: okay, we're going to cut your leathers off
    Ben: no, no, don't do that - I just bought them - I'll take them off.
    N: No, you can't move; you might have broken your back
    B: I'm pretty sure I haven't broken my back
    N: Let me be the judge of that. Stay where you are, ****.


    [1]
    <fx: finger up arse>
    Ben: Ugh. I thought I wasn't allowed to move
    Nurse: He's a Doctor.
     
    Ben Blaney, May 23, 2005
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  2. Buzby

    Ben Blaney Guest

    They also happen between 1am and 6am, I believe.
     
    Ben Blaney, May 23, 2005
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  3. <fx: Fires up Google>
     
    The Older Gentleman, May 23, 2005

  4. LOL. Perfect logic, mind.
     
    The Older Gentleman, May 23, 2005
  5. I know eff-all about administering first aid and <holds up hand> am not
    afraid to admit it.

    Working on the well-tried basis that if you do start spouting bollocks
    on ukrm, SWK will appear mega-quickly, I kept schtum on that.
     
    The Older Gentleman, May 23, 2005
  6. Buzby

    porl Guest

    Please explain. At first reading it sounds like the most nonsensical thing I
    think I've ever read.
     
    porl, May 23, 2005
  7. Buzby

    Ace Guest

    Well of course, the more the merrier, but there _is_ an awful lot that
    a trained first-aider can do. Many people die at accident scenes from
    very simple things like choking on their own tongue, or vomit, which
    are very much avoidable. In fact Airways are the very first thing you
    check with an unconscious casualty, followed by Breathing and
    Circulation. It's known as the ABC of first-aid.
    I didn't know you were in the USA. The situation you describe is most
    definitely not true of the UK.

    --
    _______
    ..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
    \`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3
    `\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2
    `\|/`
    `
     
    Ace, May 23, 2005
  8. Buzby

    Ace Guest

    Well I gave two examples of Airway restrictions above, but there are
    many more, like constriction due to clothing or equipment, false
    teeth, other foreign objects etc. Following the ABCs, breathing and
    Circulation are next - if they're not breathing or their heart's
    stopped, and you wait 15 minutes for help, they're dead. If you can
    breath/pump blood for them until help arrives, you've just saved a
    life.

    Massive bleeding is not so likely something you can help, but if it's
    in an exposed site and you can apply pressure, there's still a
    significant chance that you might save a life.
    That's a given, but you need to keep them alive until the pros arrive.

    --
    _______
    ..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
    \`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3
    `\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2
    `\|/`
    `
     
    Ace, May 23, 2005
  9. Buzby

    Ace Guest

    Dunno who's been training her, but that's _right_ out. Chances of
    restoring a normal heart rhythm that way=0%, chances of breaking
    ribcage~=80%.

    What you should do is render CPR as per latest guidelines until help
    arrives. If you can't call for help (no mobile phone, miles from
    anywhare, nobody else around) you should leave them and go fetch said
    help. Harsh, it seems, but it's the best way.

    --
    _______
    ..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
    \`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3
    `\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2
    `\|/`
    `
     
    Ace, May 23, 2005
  10. Buzby

    Martin Guest

    Now that made me laugh!

    --
    Martin:
    "For a minute there, you bored me to death."
    VTR1000 Firestorm
    TDR250 http://ukrm.net/BIKES/Yamaha/tdr250.html
    martin dot smith nine zero three at ntlworld dot com
     
    Martin, May 23, 2005
  11. Buzby

    Eddie Guest

    You try ripping a Baglux tank bag off using your nuts, and see how much
    sense you make.
     
    Eddie, May 23, 2005
  12. Buzby

    Cab Guest

    You still had it attached to your nuts when you posted?
     
    Cab, May 23, 2005
  13. Buzby

    Eddie Guest

    You have to be dedicated to be one of the Bagluxisti.
     
    Eddie, May 23, 2005
  14. Buzby

    darsyx Guest

    Baglux? Luxury. I ripped a mirror off my Bandit using my nuts.
     
    darsyx, May 23, 2005
  15. Buzby

    Alan Guest

    So if he's unconscious what good will it do to suck his knob?
     
    Alan, May 23, 2005
  16. Buzby

    Eddie Guest

    Hmmm... given the choice between a Baglux tank bag packed with a laptop
    and a sturdy pair of shoes and attached to a tank cover at four points,
    or a standard-issue Bandit mirror, I think I'd aim for the mirror.
     
    Eddie, May 23, 2005
  17. Cab wrote
    I think I would rather be left there to die.
     
    steve auvache, May 23, 2005
  18. Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, steve auvache
    Noted.

    That a "DNR" on Auvache, everybody.

    --
    Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
    and Ducati Race Engineer.

    WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
    ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
    Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
     
    Wicked Uncle Nigel, May 23, 2005
  19. Buzby

    Cab Guest

    And on Blue Peter today we're going to show you how to deal with a
    collapsed lung using just this bit of sticky tape, washing up liquid
    bottle and a paper clip...
     
    Cab, May 23, 2005
  20. Buzby

    zymurgy Guest

    I took off my own lid ISRT. I had perfect clarity as I crimped my leg
    between the car and the bike, thinking ooh, that's gonna bruise.

    Well, it would have done, had I been wearing my effing boots [1] rather
    than my work shoes ..

    Stupid, stupid, stupid.
    Heh, I got them to take off my leather jeans over the busted leg. Only
    for them to be handed in to Heinz Gherkin in their (now defunct)
    'kitcare' scheme.

    [Arse fingering]

    Nice!

    Cheers

    Paul.

    [1] MX, admittedly, it was quite a punt
     
    zymurgy, May 23, 2005
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