Ogden paging

A quick request for assistance and/or ideas

On Sunday myself and a Mr Blaney of this parish are shipping an
unhealthy Bandit 12 to Essex and, as expected, the comedy of
errors has begun before the bike has moved so much as an inch.

The van we were going to use has broken down and won't be
available. I can get use of another one if it comes to it, but
we're a bit stuck for a way of getting something as effin'
heavy as a b12 a couple of feet up into the back of the van,
lacking a ramp, a winch, a crane or some kind of trebuchet.

Can anyone help? We're a bit stuck thus far.

Thanks in advance.

 

You want a nice scaffolders plank, you do.

 

*ding*

--
cane [at] ukrm.org ¦ fireblade, r30
botafo t#50 f#03 YTC #15 bbb #6 apostle [kotl]
New? http://www.ukrm.net/faq/ukrmscbt.html
Rideout? http://www.horrible.demon.co.uk/botafof/
"Brace yourselves ladies, I'm coming in dry"

 

I missed this. How unhealthy is it?

This is a moderately serious suggestion. Get a
rope. tie it to the headstock of the B12, and the
other end to some point, preferably a tow-bar, of
the van. Put Blaney on the B12, yourself in the van,
and off you jolly well toddle.

(When I crashed my CX500Euro, this was how it was
collected by the buyers. But the front brake had
seized and the forks were bent. Oh, and instead of
a van, they used another bike.)

Or, nick a piece of wood to use as a ramp.

 

One wheelie, one stoppie. What is it with you lot? :-D

 

Oh, should note, we may also be lacking straps to keep the bike still
while in the back of the van, so an alternative to using the van at
all may be better...

 

I said a nice one... not one littered with nasty shards of Kawasaki and
scraps of our token Geordie.

Don't want to soil / puncture the tyres, after all.

 

It's like the blind leading the blind.

U all drive safely, now ;-)

 

take the front end off, rear wheel and seat unit off, and put it in
the back of an estate car?

 

Fair point.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, ogden said:

Don't you have any neighbours? Make a lot of noise and then ask for some
help when they come to investigate.

 

Remembering to drain the petrol tank first.

 

fucking spoil sport!

 

Why not lift the fucking thing in?

Weggy and I managed to get a CBR1000 into the back of a Transit with
no ramp, in about a minute and a half.

--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C/exTS185C
_/_____\_ ..57146../..13615.../..3157./.19406/.fecked.
|_\_____/_| IMC#4 TPPFATUICG#7 YTC#4 DIAABTCOD#9 PM#5
(>|_|_|<) BOTAFOT #70 two#11 Ignoramus #0001
|__|_|__| BOTAFOF #09 IbW#0 & KotIbW# OSOS#07
\ |^| / WG* BotTOS #6 GP#4 ANORAK#17
\|^|/ 2003 RBR landmarks:81 points:1740 miles:6835
'^'

 

Use some adrenaline. Got us a R1100GS into the van, hoiks the front up
with two man, drop it on the floor, then the back wheel. Get a third
person to hold it steady at the opposite end where you are lifting.
Surprisingly easy and explains why you should always lock your bike to a
solid object. If the rear wheel is siezed, bring a skateboard.

Cheers,

 

A few possibilities...

1. Steal/beg/borrow/buy a plank of wood.

2. Put a good size stick through each wheel and use them to carry the bike
(one chap at each end). Hard work but you should be able to lift it a couple
of feet if you're reasonably fit.

3. Search your house for a team of weight-lifting pixies and ask them to do
it. Be nice though, the last time somebody tried this they got turned into
John Prescott. :-(

 

That is the most sensible suggestion, involving the minimum labour and
outlay. That is, if either of you pair of cunts could G enough of AF
to take out some cover in the first place.

Failing that - shove the Bandit up a plank into the van. Push the
bike as far as it will go into the front left corner - front wheel
against the end, like. Stop it in gear (so it cannot roll back) and
put the sidestand down, leaning the left bar hard against the side of
the van. Then lash a bit of rope from the side of the van to the
frame, pulling leftwards and down (Blaney's yer man for straining rope
and tying knots, Shirley). It can't go anywhere then. This is how I
moved three, or was it four of Loz's bikes from Worksop to Dover using
only one strap - they never shifted. Double insurance, cabletie the
front brake lever back to lock the front wheel.

Failing all that, rent a van with a tail lift. Or ask me nicely and
I'll come down with my trailer, but you'll have to cover my petrol
'cos I'm skint as usual.

Good luck ;-)

 

yes, but this case the people weigh less than the bike.

 

Ah, yes. Good point.

--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C/exTS185C
_/_____\_ ..57146../..13615.../..3157./.19406/.fecked.
|_\_____/_| IMC#4 TPPFATUICG#7 YTC#4 DIAABTCOD#9 PM#5
(>|_|_|<) BOTAFOT #70 two#11 Ignoramus #0001
|__|_|__| BOTAFOF #09 IbW#0 & KotIbW# OSOS#07
\ |^| / WG* BotTOS #6 GP#4 ANORAK#17
\|^|/ 2003 RBR landmarks:81 points:1740 miles:6835
'^'

 

It's a non-runner.