Of pillions...

Today, I had two different pillion experiences.

1) Pillion A along the Military Road was rubbish.

2) Pillion B going the reverse way was excellent.

I gave both pillions the same instructions and both were 'virgins' IYSWIM.

So, when confronted with a 'virgin' pillion, what do *you* do, eh?

 

Depends which way I am taking her.

 

Tell them to do nothing, but just hang on tight.

HTH

HANE

 

I had a pillion the other day accuse me of doing "pussy wheelies."

What the **** is that? I'll show you a goddamn pussy wheelie.

 

I want hooters!

Oooh! Now you've made me horny!

 

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I'm all in pink today. I'm having a baby. And I'm calling her Barbie.

 

I also advise to squeeze me if they are getting bored and want me to go
faster.

"Oh, that was a stop squeeze, I thought it was a faster squeeze..?
Sorry"

 

I had a previous GF of Dick Dastardly's on the back of El Comfo on one of
the Caudebec weekends. No screams or slow-downs, just two big warm
go-faster spots in the middle of my back...

 

You'll haved to explain a bit more. Was the pillion left standing or
sitting in the road? What happened?

My funniest incident was when my pillion completely left the bike on that
bump in the road between Kate's Cottage and Creg-Ny-Bar.

 

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Depends if I'm fucking them or not.

 

Personally I've found it's best to go really steady until they've
built up some confidence. Make 'em nervous and they're a pain.

Being a big bloke and a tank hugger I try to avoid taking anyone
pillion coz I'm forced into "sit up an' beg". That extra space is
for my arse not theirs. But generally I find male passengers are
better. They're less inclined to strangle your guts and will obey
the instructions outlined above by BGN.

Don't like traveling pillion myself. It's a control-thing. The
worst time was 25 years ago when I was buying a Kwaka Z1000. The
seller really put it through it's paces and I absolutely shat
myself. Bought it though!

riccip

 

Here's my pillion instructions (oft posted before I know):

Ten Top Tips for new pillions:

1. Wear proper gear - if leathers, boots and gloves are necessary for
the rider, then they are for you too. If borrowing a helmet, make sure
it fits tightly; if it doesn't, don't go.
2. Don't get on or off the bike without first getting the nod from the
rider.
3. Keep your feet on the footpegs at all times.
4. Hold on to the rider's waist - grabrails are fine when you're at
ease.
5. Sit centrally on the seat to keep the balance of the bike right and
then pretend you are an immobile sack of spuds.
6. Get comfy before riding off.
7. Related to 6 - don't wriggle about when on the move or, if you
must, wait until you are going along in a straight line at speed, or
stopped. Never move on the bike on a bend, corner, or during a slow
manoeuvre. And if you can tell the rider, do, as in "I need to move my
feet, OK?"
8. Related to 7 - it's OK to look around but don't shift your body
weight when you do, just move your head.
9. When the bike goes around a bend or a roundabout, neither help nor
hinder the lean - the bike will move you just right if you let it (see
5).
10. Anticipate sudden moves/stops and keep your helmet back out of the
way or you'll bang into each other.

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Tell them to not to 'glue' their helmet to yours.

 

My wife's the worst. She'll wriggle around trying to retrieve her
drawers from up the crack of her arse just as I'm leaning into a
corner, or she'll look around to see what's going on irrespective of
what the bike's doing or where it's going, or she'll just start dozing
off on the back.

At least she don't try to lean the bike though, I hate those the most.

Joe

 

Generic instructions:
Sit on bike like a sack of spuds - don't lean for or against just stay
neutral. Relax.
Don't put your feet down or get off unless I say so.
Don't fidget or move about when we're approaching or in a corner.
If I tap your knee hold on.
Relax.

Then either:

Blokes:
Hang on to me. It's not gay, it's better than falling off the back.
If we go fast duck down a bit.

Interesting girls:
Hold on to me, and when we go fast it's better if you're closer to me
and hold on a bit tighter.

 

Christofire wrote

someone else's

 

I'm not into girls, but I did find carrying the PERFECT pillion quite
an interesting experience. We were riding around and instead of her
being scared or moved or needing to think about what she thought
(virgin pillion) she kept saying "Wow!!!! GO FASTER! GO AROUND A BEND
FAST!" so I did. She loved every second of it.

Random thought: She kept clasping my hips with her legs and holding me
tightly, it was very... pleasant. It felt right somehow, how it
should be. You know?

 

BGN says...

Is her nickname Snowy?