Note to self...

When living with three neurotic cats, do *not* use the Microsoft office
"links the Cat" as your assistant. Particularly not with a cat on your lap
and one at your feet. *Especially* not if you want your legs intact when the
sodding thing meows at you.

<Goes off to find some antiseptic...>

 

Anyone that leaves the microsoft office assistant enabled doesn't
deserve legs.

 

It turns itself on, the fucker!

http://www.anvari.org/fun/Computer/Office_Assistant_Suicide.html

 

Uninstall it.

With the installer.

It won't come back then.

 

Can I do that and still keep the help files? I'm trying a few things out in
Excel and it's handy to refer to syntax occasionally.

 

Yes.

I think it's under
"Shared components" "Office assistant"

Check the never install option for just that component and job's a good
un.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Dan White said:

Why not copy the help files to another location before you uninstall?

I know bugger all about spreadsheets it has to be said *and* I'm pissed
but copying the files is what I'd try first

 

Because knowing Microsoft, they'll probably be in 165 different locations,
buried 12 directory levels down.

 

This somehow seems appropriate:

http://tinyurl.com/2s868

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Dan White said:

Oh, so you can't be arsed to look for them then ;-)

Blimey, sometimes I get so piss bored that I deliberately **** something
up just because it takes hours, if not days to fix it

 

I wish I had that kind of spare time!

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Dan White said:

lol

 

^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^
but you don't - you have Office Assitant installed.