New European Security Levels

<cba to check google first...>

The British have reacted to the recent terrorism alerts by raising
their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security
levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea
supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last the time British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also,
the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France
are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent
fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing
the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand,
are all on holiday, as is customary, and the only threat they are
worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

 

ogden wrote

Excellent. Where did you steal that from?

 

Passed my way by boss's boss's boss earlier.

 

Some?

 

Simon Gates wrote

last week, the month before, three years ago, half a generation prior to
that

Only those that pay attention to it.

 

It was a poll commissioned by the BBC, so it comes as no surprise that
the questions followed government policies. 'Lack of Respect' came
third in the list of concerns, not surprising since the government had
only recently invented it as a 'concern'.

Only if they believe the BBC slant on things.