It's more a question of winning battles rather than the overall war, and not letting minor "victories" become big issues between us. On the whole we get along very well, although I am aware how easily this could become fucked up. However, as she's female the rules change regularly and without notice. Letting go is a strange one. When my lad got his moped I was both really pleased and scared shitless at the same time. This soon wore off as he became very handy on a bike. When he passed his car test I had the same feelings about him being out in the car, but that has worn off. Then, on Friday he rode the bike for the fisrt time in ages to the garage, and was late back. Again, mixed feelings, I am sad, yet relieved that he's selling the bike. Bloody odd. Letting go of my daughter is not going to be easy at all. Done this, she is basically a sensible girl so I am not massively concerned, but like to keep a watchful eye over things where possible. Peer pressure can be a difficult obstacle to overcome. Luckily she isn't too deeply into "girly" stuff, like "hanging out" as she's very involved with her horses, a good, wholesome activity IMHO. Heh, tell me about it. -- Dan L (Oldbloke) My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going) Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament) BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)
It does, sort of, although communicating it here is not so straightforward. I guess what I am trying (unsuccessfully) to convey is letting her do her own thing, but keeping an eye on what her "thing" is and how she's doing it. This is very true, although she seems to have no problem at all about speaking her mind to her mates (which doesn't always go down too well). I think she's inherited this trait from her mum. Absolutely 100% correct. It's also about letting them make their own mistakes. The trick is to enable them to be able to spot when they are about to make one. Heh, horses rock. -- Dan L (Oldbloke) My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going) Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament) BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)
I've done a bit. I don't really like it. It's a moral question, that's why. Can you not just ask them? That's what my parents did. I told them. Sometimes they didn't like it. And they had a choice between telling me *not* to get up to those things with those people (and I'd have done it anyway, being a teenage), or telling me *why* they didn't want me doing those things with those people. They chose the latter, and I made an informed decision whether to do what I wanted, or what they *recommended*. And trust.
Same as me, on the whole, but my formative years were complicated by being at boarding school from age 11 to 16. 'Peer policing' is effective in both allowing freedom to do stupid stuff and reigning /really/ stupid stuff.
I don't think that's the case. I would consider it bad parenting to not know what she's up to most of the time(obviously there are times when I have no idea what she's up to). Again, I disagree. She is pretty much free to do whatever she likes. I just like knowing (as far as one can) what that is. I agree that it is good to lesrn from one's mistakes, but surely trying to impart a little forward thinking can't be a bad thing. Heh, if it weren't for horses I prolly wouldn't have got a bike. A few years before doing the test etc I raised the issue with SWMBO, whose response was the standard "they're dangerous" stuff, so I let it go. My daughter has been riding horses for years, so SWMBO decided she might like to learn, but consulted me first to get my feelings on the dangerous bit. My attitude was (and still is) if you really want to do it then do it, just make sure you get decent training and get good gear. So she went ahead, learned, and binned it big time resulting in a broken collarbone which needed to be plated. When I raised the bike issue again, no arguments were raised. -- Dan L (Oldbloke) My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going) Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament) BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)
Heh, I'd prefer she hung out with horses than scrotey teenage boys. -- Dan L (Oldbloke) My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going) Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament) BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)
Who's paranoid? Certainly not me. -- Dan L (Oldbloke) My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going) Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament) BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)
Bear wrote: I wasn't arguing. Many thanks for your views, some interesting stuff there. -- Dan L (Oldbloke) My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going) Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament) BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)
Yeah -- Dan L (Oldbloke) My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going) Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament) BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)
