Minor workshop miracle

This morning I went out to my little wood workshop, all full of good
intentions, to finish a workpiece that has been sitting in the chuck of
my lathe for a few days while I was doing other stuff. It is the fifth
of six turned spindles which will fit between the curved back of a
wooden chair and the seat, undertaken as a restoration job, to replace
broken spindles.

The turning is pretty straightforward, but getting the right colour and
finish is fairly critical, as it has to match the existing spindles
reasonably closely. To this end, the spindle has to be sanded smooth,
then have a coat of mahogany (dark reddish-brown) stain applied, wait
20 hours for it to dry and lightly sand it again, then it needs a coat
of walnut (very dark brown) stain applied over the top. Give it 36
hours minimum to dry hard, then using a couple of grades of Scotchbrite
pads rub most of the walnut stain away to reveal most of the mahogany
beneath, whilst maintaining a darker colour than mahogany overall, with
dark grain and crevices, so it looks old. Then a high-speed run over
with hard wax and a final buffing.

Due to the complexity, it has taken me quite a while to get through the
number I undertook to do, as I really CBA, you know? Not to mention
the time and number of attempts it took to come up with the colouring
process. It is a PITA, as the piece has to sit in the chuck through
the whole process, as removing it will inevitably throw it out of true,
no matter how carefully I mark it and replace it in exactly the same
relationship to the chuck. This will affect the final finish, leaving
duller areas - and it is so much easier to apply the stain with a cloth
while revolving the chuck by hand.

So ... out I went to commence the first stain application. Wafting the
dust of several weeks away from the stain repository, I found the very
jar - but it had slipped off the top of the other jars in its box and
come to rest at an angle. Not only that, but being on the top shelf in
the recent heat must have caused sufficient expansion to force some of
the liquid stain through the jar seal and through the screw thread, as
there was a dribble down the outside of the jar and a small dried-out
puddle in the bottom of the box. Bugger.

I had a twist at the lid, but it was stuck fast. I put a pair of latex
workshop gloves on for better grip and gave it an energetic twist ...
until I could see little flashing lights, but to no avail. Double
bugger.

Now this is a tiny glass jar of about 100ml capacity and by the time
I'd got my thumb around it the two fingers that would fit around the
other side overlapped. Not only that, but the hard and brittle plastic
lid is only 7mm deep, so getting purchase is difficult. At great
hazard to finger retention, I took a Stanley knife to the neck of the
jar and cut around the joint of lid and jar, hoping to break the seal.
Lots of tiny chips of hardened stain and a few of rapidly-moving glass
and brittle plastic, but no subsequent lid movement.

I knocked off for a coffee, a fag and a think.

Obviously jamming the lid in a door wouldn't work, even though
everybody's Dad used to get it to work (I had to give it a go anyway,
for the sake of good form. I'll repair the door and frame later). I
couldn't clamp it in a vice as either the glass or the lid would
shatter. Smashing the lid off wasn't an option, as I'd want the
remaining stain to finish the last spindle and if I transferred it to
another container it would be dust by the time I needed it, no matter
how much cling film I stuck over it.

I undertook a foraging trip to the garage for engineering bodger's
tools and cleared a space on the workshop floor. A baby boa
constrictor:
http://www.diy.com/diy/jsp/bq/nav.jsp?action=detail&fh_secondid=9271734&
ecamp=trf-005&CAWELAID=266881247
around the jar, then a plumber's screw-adjustable pair of mighty grips
around the lid. With a foot on the constrictor (hey, it takes oil
filters off) I adjusted the sharp-toothed jaws of the grips to /just/
bite into the plastic of the lid.

Half a circuit of the jar to get some tension on the Boa's rubber and
get optimal adjustment on the grip jaws, four working circuits of the
lid and nothing had happened apart from covering my specs with
miniscule, highly static-charged fragments of lid plastic and much
fraying of nerves and knuckles.

Having run out of bottle, swears and nicotine I retired for a coffee
and a fag.

Resigned to the inevitable breaking of the lid, I returned to the
bloody jar twenty minutes later. "Just one more go". I can never
resist, you know. One annahalf fingerwidths on the jar, half a finger
on the lid and twist - pop. Well, I'm buggered.

How did that happen, then? OK, it had been sitting in the sun for 20
minutes, but I'm certain it hadn't moved during the tool-assisted
rotations - and I gave it a twist after I'd put the tools away, just
for the sake of it. I don't really care how TBH, just that it did.

The penultimate spindle is drying in the lathe now, looking very
mahogany. Another three days and I can start on the last one. I'll
grease the jar thread though, just to be sure.

 

Corona Cola? Are you sure it wasn't Dandelion and Burdock?

 

<snip>

In my experience of stuck-lids-on-jars-an'-bockles, it was the sun
that did it. I've always found that soaking the jar and lid in really
hot water does the trick.

 

The hot water trick did occur during the fag/coffee/think, but as the
jar contained my last 15cc of water-based mahogany-coloured wood dye, I
was unwilling to risk contamination and thus, dilution.

Thing is, the leverage I had on the thing with the boa/wrench was huge.
The boa was holding the base firm, preventing the glass jar turning,
while I was shaving plastic off the lid with the wrench - and it was
taking a fair bit of push to turn the wrench. And I kept screwing the
jaws a bit tighter every revolution, as tight as I dared. Yet the lid
never moved - not a fraction, not one bleedin' iota. 20 minutes later
it unscrewed by hand as easily as if it had never been stuck.

Plastic, even hard and brittle plastic, expands a great deal more than
glass, I suppose.

 

Perzackly. Coefficient of Thermal Expansion 'n all that.
Manufacturing plants often have freezers and ovens to make assembling
parts easier when there are tight fits. Heating a sticky bolt will
often help get it off.

 

NAHAY?


--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 GTV TS GT 3.2 V6
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

Another year older, another year closer to undoing. Leave it for a
couple of seasons and give it a go in Spring, innit.

 

If this is the broken pub stool that you told us about over 6 months
ago, then I would venture that the 'few days' is a dirty great lie,
you cad and bounder.

Paul.

 

Pip said" so it looks old."

Do you do wall paintings?

J/K

 

Why, has SIRPip expounded on sticky bolts before?

 

(TOG@Toil)
<snip>
In my experience of stuck-lids-on-jars-an'-bockles, it was the sun that
did it. I've always found that soaking the jar and lid in really hot
water does the trick.

Sounds right--As I've had to heat many bearings to get them on shafts or
shrink
the shaft using Co2 if bearing was to big to heat.

 

Standard UKRM answer, just after 'angle grinder'

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 GTV TS GT 3.2 V6
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

I should coco. I've done all the pub stools and several chairs now. I
tell you, I'm getting good at furniture restoration: once you've
summoned up the bottle to break the thing apart properly so you can get
at it, you're a good way there.

No, these are spindles for a "Captain's Chair" for our dear landlord.
One of those things with a semi-circular back/arms that seem to come
all the way around: green leather, set on castors. Much more delicate
than the pub furniture.

 

Do you do breathing through your mouth?

 

Once or twice. Are your nuts sticky?

 

Gixxer Thou.

 

I like them. Very difficult to fall out of. Although, never seen one with
castors. Seems counterintuitive for a chair to be used on the deck of a
ship or by a pisshead in a bar.

 

Home office type seating accommodation.

They've been putting castors on 'em for a while, it seems:

http://www.sellingantiques.co.uk/antiquedetail.asp?autonumber=42834

And still do:

http://www.designersofas4u.co.uk/images/pictures/product-images/chesterf
ield-range/chesterfield-captains-chair.jpg

http://www.chesterfieldsdirect.co.uk/captains.html

 

etc etc

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 GTV TS GT 3.2 V6
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

Modern c20 shit

that looks horrible but the description includes "this chair can also be
supplied as a traditional stand chair" which is probably what I have in
mind e.g. http://www.barstoolbill.com/product/HBS-CaptainsChair