London Courier Work

Morning!

The sun is shining, we're starting to get some decent hours of
daylight, the prospect of snow and ice is many months away and I'm
flirting with doing some courier work in London.

Just fishing for words of wisdom from the (er vast) experience on UKRM
basically, as courier work isn't something I've any experience of.

Who's good to work for, who isn't, are the hours going to crucify me,
will I end up sad single lonely and crying into my guinness after three
weeks nursing broken bones and hurt pride? Damn that male ego.

What are the prospects for earning the filmstar salary that I'm so
convinced I deserve that'll enable me to retire to the bahamas with
Izzy from Hollyoaks on a 60ft yacht.

Basically I'd welcome any advice going including a bit of expectation
management.

Many thanks
Tim

 

In

From what I've gathered when this topic has come up in the past:

It's shit work, the wages are crap, and you'll probably die.

HTH.

 

Hahahaha... hahahahaha

Who said 'New Romance' was dead...

"Don't", basically.

HTH

 

er to coin a phrase ... Bugger.

So its not much of a career option then...

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, OurTim amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

Morning to you too. I always enjoy replying to these ;o)

The sun is shining for now. If you like dicing with death, colliding
with other vehicles, road furniture, pedestrians and believe you're
invincible, then read on...

It won't take long. You'll either love it or hate it. Personally Ihate
it but have done it for years. It's always good as something to fall
back on as well. You don't need any of the normal interview skills, you
don't need a CV, ID, or even be able to speak English! You can also go
to work 2 minutes after rolling out of bed, look like you've slept in a
skip all night and noone will notice )

You do need a driving licence however and if you're using your own bike
you must show a current MOT and insurance (which isn't the same as your
SDP insurance but three times the price courier insurance).

Courier companies are like governments. They all promise the earth when
they think you might vote (work) for them and yes, the hours will
crucify you but since you're new you'll think it's a great laugh. Don't
expect any sympathy when you crash your bike or end up in hospital.
"Have you delivered that job" will probably be the first thing they ask
when you say your legs are hanging off by a tendon and you can't stop
now because one of your eyeballs is rolling away and you need to catch
it.

Do it if it's what you want to do. There are literally hundreds of
courier companies in London. Phone them up, tell them you want to start
and go and see them. Most won't even be worried you've never done it
before, you'll just get the shit jobs that noone else wants )

Have fun!

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, prawn amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

Crap just about sums it up. He might be alright for a while because he's
keen but that translates to stupid in the eyes of the firms I've worked
for and when you complain about going to Wakefield at 5pm on a Friday
night, you get to earn £150 the next week.

Shysters, the lot of 'em.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, JackH amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

*CHORTLE*

 

OK so my romantic vision of strolling through offices staffed by
stunning smartly dressed ladies in their 20's and 30's fancying a bit
of rough with the leather clad biker before a sunkissed afternoon
cruise on the bike, while being handsomely paid for both bike riding
and flirting outrageously, can essentially be summed up as total
b*llocks then?


So would it be wrong to ask who is generally leaping into this work all
keen and pleased to be there when the concensus here can be summed up
in one word - Crap.

 

Its a wonderful life and a quick way to become truly rich.

Ignore all the nay sayers on here. They are all millionanire courier riders
who don't want you taking a slice of their lucrative pies.

 

Pizza delivery. Better hours, better bike, better pay. All your
customers'll be fat bastards, though.

Tiff

 

Over in Brighton they either tend to be in cars, or on clapped out
plastic bodied scooters. The good pizza delivery jobs are out in Sweden.
[1]

[1]Large Moto X type bikes with studded tyres in the winter.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, OurTim amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

For the most part, this is true. Stunning would be a word to describe
most of them, especially in the city.

What they fantasise about is a matter for them. Leatherclad you may be
but after riding round in the smog for over 10 hours a day (even if it's
dry) will leave you smelly and filthy.

Don't mind what they say in here. There's really only one way you're
going to find out.

 

Definitely one of the highlights of courier work is gawping at the
office totty. I used to do occasional drops for Vogue Magazine, and
the women there were unbelievable.

Mind you, they looked at me like I crawled up the plug hole.

<considers personal sartorial standards at age 19>

Actually, they probably had a point.

 

Well blimey I thank you all for taking care of my delusions on courier
work.

I'll just cancel that yacht order and put my carribbean retirement on
hold then. Arse.

 

As everyone else said, don't. It's not worth the grief, for all the
reasons, as already stated.

If you really want to give it a try, don't go for Courier Systems. WC
will tell you the half decent ones. There are no good ones and there
never have been. Even companies like DHL farm their bike courier work
out to courier companies.

Expect to work long hours, for crap wages and polluted lungs. This
applies to all courier companies.

If you're not after the dosh, you could try and land a contract (i.e.
work as a rider for one company). Mind you, this isn't easy to do and
the wages are even more shite. At least the work is less stressful, the
wages constant and the hours fixed. You'll probably have to go through
an established courier company though (as the most of the time, the
work is sub-contracted) and the chances of them giving you a position
like this, are pretty much zero. Generally, you'll need to work for
them for years before they even consider you.

Your best bet is to invent a teleport machine and do deliveries that
way. If you do, I want 50% of your profits, as I suggested it to you
first.

 

We have the internet for that these days... or are you thinking that the
allure of a sweaty, scruffy courier on a manky old bike is enough to tempt
them out for a quick visit to the Benjy's and quickie over the seat?

Guess not.

 

Career? Heh. <G>

Mind you, there are some old timers out there, but even they would tell
you that they're only doing it for a few more months. The fact that
they told you the same story 10 years ago, is by-the-by.

 

not quite the same experience.

I'm just back from Costa Coffee @ St.Pauls, and I walked through
Paternoster Square - the "gorgeous office totty in not quite enough
clothes for the actual temperature" factor is bloody huge today.

I do like some aspects of working in The City.

 

Well, I did it over 20 years ago, when the fax machine was in its
infancy and the interwebthingy didn't exist......

I don't think much has changed except that the traffic has got heavier
and the payment rates probably haven't kept pace with inflation.

First thing is you'll need more than one bike. At some point your bike
is going to be off the road for one reason or another and you need a
back-up.

Secondly, you need to strike the right balance between something
that'll get the job done quickly, easily and cheaply and something that
doesn't cost a fortune to run. If your company does all its work in
town, or within the M25, there's little point in having anything much
bigger than a basic four-stroke 250 like a Honda CB or Suzuki GN.

If it does a lot of out-of-town work, then you're going to need a cheap
& cheerful shaftie. XJ900 Diversion, GT550 Kawa, ShiteOldBMW even.

What you don't want to do is despatch on a Jap plastic sports bike.
That's insanity. If you're going 1000 miles a week on a 40mpg bike,
that's a fuel bill of a ton weekly, an oil change every three weeks, a
new rear tyre every six weeks... well, you can do the maths.

Insurance - others have mentioned it. Remember that in summer the work
dries up a bit, because people are on holiday and the students are
doing the job as a summer thing. Winter is much more lucrative, but the
pitfalls are obvious.

The good big companies tend not to take beginners. The cheapo cowboys
will take anyone, but whatever you're told you'll earn, halve it.
You'll get given the shite jobs at first, until you've proved your
reliability.

It is possible to earn a reasonable living, but the guys who do have
got the job down to a fine art. They know exactly what bikes to use,
they know every short cut and back double in London, and they never
seem to be riding fast yet somehow they're always at the front of the
queue when the lights change.

As a summer job, if you're canny, yeah, OK. As a stop-gap, possibly.
Very few people regard it as a long-term thing.

Oddly, I look bike on my DR days with some fondness. I stayed shiny
side up for a couple of years, managed to make a living of sorts
(enough to buy a big bike and go skiing every year), and had some
wonderful mates.

When it was good, on a nice summer's day, with the radio net full of
jobs, it was great. Especially during the postal strike - every DR
cleaned up.

When it was bad, like at the end of a shitty week with two punctures,
the rain pissing down, the traffic snarled up, and a Friday 6pm call to
go out to Heathrow, it was horrible.

Give it a try and find out for yourself.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, OurTim amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

Don't let that put you off. There are some firms that let you have
company bikes[1] so you can try the work out without ruining one of your
own.

[1] <snigger>