LAUNDRY REQUIREMENT

DEAR GENTLES AND LADYMEN OF UKRM,

IT IS WITH A HEART FULL OF HOPE THAT I WRITE, SOLICITING FOR YOUR
STRICTCONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS
BEING CONFIDENTIAL AND TOP SECRET. YOU HAVE BEEN INTRODUCED BY A FRIEND IN
FOREIGN OFFICE OF IRISH CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRIES, WHO ASSURED ME
OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITIY TO EXECUTE A TRANSACTION OF GREAT
MAGNITUDE.

I AM A LAWYER WITH SUE, GRABBIT & RUNNE, SOLICITORS TO THE LATE MR. SHEAMUS
O'FLAHERTY, BASED IN BELFAST, NORTHERN IRELAND. MR. O'FLAHERTY WAS RECENTLY
INVOLVED IN THE ROBBERY OF A PROMINENT BANK IN BELFAST BUT DIED ACCIDENTALLY
AT THE HANDS OF HIS ASSOCIATES AT THE GIGANTIC PISS-UP AFTER THE SUCCESSFUL
COMPLETION OF THE REMOVAL OF £22 MILLION IN BANKNOTES.

SO, BY VIRTUE OF MY POSITION AS THE LAWYER OF THE DECEASED COMPANY, I HAVE
IN MY POSSESSION DOCUMENTS CONTAINING INFORMATION ABOUT THE LOCATION OF THE
MONEY WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN BELFAST. THE COMPANY DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE
SECURITY BOXES CONTAIN.

I HAVE PUT IN AN APPLICATION WITH THE SECURITY COMPANY TO TRANSFER THESE
BOXES TO THEIR CORRESPONDENCE OFFICE IN AMERICA OR EUROPE WHICH THEY HAVE
OBLIGED. AND BEING THAT THIS DEAL WAS BEEN CARRIED OUT BY FOREIGN FIRM, I
NEED A TRUSTWORTHY FOREIGNER LIKE YOU THAT WILL ASSIST ME TO A LOGICAL
CONCLUSION OF THIS PENDING BUSINESS WHICH BOTH OF US WILL BOUND TO BENEFIT
EARNESTLY. ALL I NEED FROM YOU IS TO STAND BEFORE THE SECURITY COMPANY AND
SIGN AS ONE OF EXPATRIATES TO ENABLE YOU cLAIM THE MONEY AND PAY IT INTO
YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

PLEASE, NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK-FREE, FOR EVERY MACHINERIES
HAS BEEN PUT IN PLACE FOR SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSION. REMEMBER, THAT I HAVE WITH
ME ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS THAT WILL PROVE THAT THE MONEY IS FOR US. I
EXPECT YOU TO BE TRUSTWORTHY AND KIND ENOUGH TO KEEP MY OWN SHARE, WHEN THE
MONEY HIT YOUR ACCOUNT.

I HEREBY AGREE TO COMPENSATE YOUR SINCERE AND CANDID EFFORT IN THIS REGARD
WITH 25% OF THE FUND AFTER THE TRANSFER AND 5% (PERCENT) WILL BE SET ASIDE
FOR ANY EXPENSES BOTH LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL TRANSPORTATION, TELEPHONE
BILLS ETC. WILL BE SETTLED FROM THIS PERCENTAGE, WHILE 70% WILL BE FOR ME
AND TWO OF MY COLLEAGUES. THIS DEAL WILL BE CONCLUDED WITHIN SEVEN (7)
WORKING DAYS.

I WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, AND SOLICIT YOUR
CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSACTION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS
PROPOSAL.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

PADDY O'DONOVAN.

NB: Please include your Tel & Fax NO. in your reply e-mail.

 

Bejeasus Paddy!

Oi can tell yer a honest man and in that respect oi can see a way of me an
yous earning a bob or two out of dis caper.
Email me yous phone number and oirl give you a ring while yous is doing the
ironing of the notes after the laundry.
Make sure you lets go of the iron before you answer the phone tho.
If you want to ring me try 049-8547002
my email address is

Cheers mate

 

GARDA, IS IT? OI DOAN TINK AS HOW OI'VE HEERD O DAT ISP. OR IS IT AFTER
BEIN' YER COMPANY AT ALL, AT ALL. WHAT KIND OF LINE OF WORK WOULD YOU BE
AFTER DOIN', AT ALL (AT ALL)? OI HOPES IT'S A SECURE KIND OF
EMPLOYMIFICATION, SO TO SPEAK. AHA, BUT OI SEE FROM YER ADDRESS DAT DAT
WOULD BE AFTER BEIN' OVER DE BORDER NOW, WOULDN'T IT, KINDA LIKE SORTA TING,
EH. SO DIS NOW WOULD BE AFTER INCLUDIN' AN ADDITIONAL COMPLEXIFYING ELEMENT
TO DE TRANSACTIONALS NOW, 'COS WE'D HAVE TO INK OUT ALL DEM LITTLE SQUIRGGLY
STERLING SIGNS ON ALL O' DEM NOTES AND TURN 'EM ALL INTO EURO SIGNS. NOW
I'M NOT MUCH OF A COUNTIN' MAN MESELF, BUT WOULDN'T DAT ALSO ENTAIL AN
INSTANT DEVALUATION, BEIN' AS SEEIN' AS HOW DE EURO IS WORT LESS DAN DE
POUND. SUDDENLY YER OFFER OF ASSISTANCE BEGINS TO START BECOMIN' RATHER
LESS ATTRACTIVE. TANKS ALL DE SAME.

PADDY