Is anyone watching ITV1?

http://www.parkour.com/

 

"Some people are different to the rest of us. And so are the rest of
us."

 

I haven't read any Maslow. Psychology isn't very high up on any of my
reading lists. I had a look at the link you posted - all seems eminently
sensible to me in terms of the triangle of needs and the way things get
changed according to circumstances. Not sure I followed the critique
and then subsequent challenge but then I didn't expend a lot of time on
it.

Some of the more positive aspects that were listed for self actualisers
I can recognise elements of in me or else an aspiration to get there.
Equally I recognise that are road blocks in levels 2,3 and 4!

You'll be pleased to know that you've taken my level of complexity
forwards to an even more complex place than I can achieve! If I change
my view on something it will be for a reason I understand and can
explain. I wouldn't call my previous view a lie - it's simply a case of
my information, knowledge or experience that's provided the basis for a
different view now. I'd understand how I got from to the other and could
explain it. The first view may well be valid for other people, it could
even have validity for me in part if I had changed my view to something
else - horses for courses.

I can't say I spend a lot of time with that sort of thinking but then
I'm not as rushed off my feet with the basics as you seem to be.

To some extent you were living a lie in that you were not being honest
with yourself. In my case I rarely let my real thoughts emerge so I
didn't really know what I was suppressing. Now I may be kidding myself
here but I can't be certain one way or the other. What I realised just
before I came out was that my internal battle and frustration was
finding its way out through all sorts of fairly poor behaviour.

When I did come out I was on cloud nine for about 2 months. Whole areas
of my life came under control - I ate properly, I lost weight, I was
happy all the time. People remarked on what had changed as I was so
different. I think that two month period was an illustration of how we
are supposed to live - not weighed down.

You need a bit of self control and discipline.

You don't say )

I might feel like that but I'm just a coward about getting stabbed with
highly powered needles.

More a "buy the Corfield and Nina Book of Successful Living" sort of
thing. You could be as rich as Oprah Winfrey!

You might well grin - quite stylish that. You save the old religion and
charity reference right to the end. You couldn't resist could you?

 

"Some people are different to the rest of us. And so are the rest of
us."[/QUOTE]

Remember you're unique, just like everybody else.

 

Paul Corfield says...

I found UKRM after I binned my bike, back in 2000. It wasn't until
sometime later that I made it to a meet, and even then I sat in the
corner saying little. Going to the BOSM was an effort of will, I
very nearly didn't go. I have, on several occasions, plucked up
enough courage to go somewhere, only to change my mind on the way
and turn round and come back.

I had put my tent on the bike and was ready to go, it took a good
five - ten minutes before I actually set off. This was several hours
later than I was intending to go. I knew that there would be some
people there that I liked, who I felt comfortable around. I was also
expecting there to be some cunts, but I knew that the Black Horse
was big enough for me to hide when I felt the need. Also, because I
hardly drink, I knew I could leave at any time.

Quite how I managed to end up with Lady Nina, I'm not sure, I'm
extremely glad about it, though.

Yeah. I'm going with a bit at time and trying not to be too hard on
myself. Small changes are easier to sustain, and with time become
self sustaining. A radical change in lifestyle and persona are, for
me, more difficult and less likely to succeed, you also need to know
what you are trying to change into.

<nods lots> Yes I know that one, quite well as it goes. I doesn't
matter how often someone tells you something, praises your
qualities, if you can't see it then it makes no difference. It's
very easy to dismiss their opinion because they are only judging
what you allow them to see. Of course, people tend to see a bit more
than that, but until you are able to accept the good as well as the
bad about yourself, it is difficult to credit their opinion with any
weight. There is also a suspicion as to their motives, is it because
they want something from you, or because they are setting you up in
some way? It's very easy to become overwhelmed by the negative
aspects about yourself and very difficult to see the positive. It
can be done, I'm doing it a bit a time. I still struggle with it
though.

That does make it more difficult, sure. One thing that I used to do
occasionally was to take my team out to lunch as a group. Or to have
a kind of general meeting in the bar, knock off 30 mins early and
take them for a drink. It's certainly difficult if people around you
are also reluctant as you can end up supporting each others
isolation.

One idea is to find someone who feels similarly to you and go to
places where you feel comfortable, get used to being out in public.
Find someone you know who is interested in something that you are
interested in and would like to give it a try. More easy to say, I
know.

Yeah, there are a few people that I would like to still be in
contact with. The reason that I'm not is down to me, when they
contacted me, they received little or nothing by way of reply. I'm
making a concerted effort not to let that happen this time. There
are three people from my old work place who I definitely do not wish
to lose touch with and I'm had contact with all of them in the last
week. But it is an effort, and it can be can be hard work. I think
it's worth it though.

And the family thing, well, that's on the back burner, as it were.

If you do meet up with her, FFS don't let her have coffee...

 

platypus says...

Well, anything that involves the production of adrenaline is good.
But I think there is far too much physical exertion involved in that
one.

 

snip maslow

snip viewpoints

Surely that gives you more time to think? Anyway, they'll leave home.
Then I can think in peace. My batty academic with cats fate will
unfurl.

But unless you go into a closed order or something life will always
get in the way I suppose.

My friend had old tattoos completely covered with a full back dragon
with tail curling onto her thigh - it took loads of sessions, cost a
small fortune and apparently hurt like hell - that level of body art
is definitely not for me.

And what would I do with it all? There's no physical thing I want or
need. I'd travel and look at the things I want to I suppose, but I
intend to do that anyway once kids are gone.

It's on my mind somewhat - formal interview for going back and doing a
PhD in this area is in a fortnight. So I suppose it is time to
rediscover the self control and discipline.

 

Steph says...

Possibly. It's more of an issume for some than it is for others,
though.

I was told that I'm intimdating because I hold eye contact. <shrug>

 

Doesn't everyone feel this way? If people are complimentary about my
work/achievements etc. I either suspect they are being sarcastic, or I
reply with some snide/trite comment and change the subject as I don't
take praise easily - it always makes me feel uncomfortable.

Lack of confidence shows in so many different ways though. Some people
are over loud, some never stop talking up as they hate long pauses(that's
one of my weaknesses as some of you already know)

My biggest problem is looking people straight in the eye when I talk to
them. I tend to look at the scenery, or the lampshade behind their left
ear, anywhere but not at their face. Almost as with pack animals the
weakest/lower members of the pack always break eye contact first.

I have been trying to overcome this because I feel people may consider me
rude - although I find it excruciatingly embarassing. Since trying to
use eye contact I have noticed that some of my friends look away too, but
when chatting to some of my more confident friends it almost turns into a
staring competition and I completely lose track of what I'm talking
about. Then I look completely stupid and break eye contact again while
turning a rather vivid shade of pink.

 

Hmm. I suspect I'm doing better at the top of the pyramid than the
bottom...

 

Okay, well if it helps, we all hate you.

 

I recognise this one.

I can't comment on this.

Well your last remark is true. A tactic in negotiation is to look people
in the eye and see whether they are telling the truth or not. People who
constantly avert their gaze can be lying but may also, as in your case,
be uncomfortable with maintaining eye contact. It's simply something
you determine as you get used to someone. I always know when one of my
opposite numbers is not being truthful or is not presenting all the
facts. He looks away if I maintain non scary eye contact. If he's
telling the truth then I get a "joined up" response between his verbal
and non verbal communication.

As I am a crap liar he looks at me even if my colleague is talking to
see if I will look him in the eye if we are having to "spin a line" in
negotiation. I am very aware that he uses me this way to see if my
colleague is in spin mode or not.

As I have very obvious and very powerful body language I can play all
sorts of games in a negotiation to push the tone of the discussion in
all sorts of directions. It's all good fun.

I think the trick here is how you look at the person, what the rest of
your face / voice is saying and how long you maintain a look. I can do
"death stare" mode which can get people shaking in their seats if
necessary but most of the time you should use your eyes to add
expression to what you are saying or else to acknowledge what is being
said to you. It isn't easy but as said in other threads take it in
small steps.

 

I heard it said as:
"Some people are from a smaller part of the herd. But still part of the
herd."

 

Tell me something I don't already know.

(You're not this beastly when we're toasting crumpets in front of the
fire together)...

 

That's because you distract me.

 

It was somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the

Remember you're a Womble.

--

Dave

GS 850 x2 / SE 6a
SbS#6 DIAABTCOD#16 APOSTLE#6 FUB#3
FUB KotL OSOS#12? UKRMMA#19 COSOC#10

 

That's the one.

I just downloaded Abba Gold off BT before suprnova went TU.

 

<stupid smirk>

 

http://www.ibogleif.dk/uk/Thetest-uk.html

 

<VBG>