If you had just one answer...

Let's say you are pulled by PC Plod, Esq. for speeding at (eek!) mph and
you are bang to rights, guv'nor.

And he or she asks the immortal question, "Ahem, ahem, ahem, why were
you doing this speed, sir?"

What answer would you give if you wanted to avoid giving them the
opportunity to give you "the lecture?" Does such an answer exist? ;-)

Tris.

 

I would go for "Because the bike can't go any faster"

or

"The plastic film on my pinlock had misted up and obscured my view of the
speedo".

or

Try the old rolling up the trouser leg funny handshake bit.

 

Hang on, umm, that wasn't me, that was him, over there ----->

Tris.

 

"Sorry officer, I have no excuse and I'm not going to bullshit you with
something you've heard a million times."

Personally, I'd welcome a lecture, as they usually precede a letting off
and a "don't do it again".

 

"Sorry officer I was concentrating on the road rather than looking at my
speedo. As it was so empty I didn't realise just how much my speed
crept up over the limit, which was stupid of me."

Is what I said when I got stopped having done an average 93.7 over about
5 miles, hitting 110+ at one point.

It got me 3 points and a £40 fixed penalty notice.

 

Bad form I know... but in hindsight, I'd be tempted to say

"go on then, do me, do me for it you pig, you think you'll ever get
anyone to believe that a cruiser is capable of doing eek mph with a
lardy bastard like me on it? You're more likely to let me off than win a
case like that in court. <fx: hopes>"

 

"because I'm in a fucking hurry, you stupid ****" is probably the
wrong answer.

Try: "You're the expert, you tell me".

That might work.

 

Class.

 

I was just doing what it says at the bottom of my license officer. Look,
here where it says on the change of address bit:


---------------------------------------------
tear along the dotted line [1]


[1] This only works if you still have an old green license.[2]
[2] And the cop has a sense of humour.

 

"Because I'm touching cloth"

 

"The crocodile told me to do it guv'nor"

 

simonk stopped licking the window and dribbled

*slutter*

--
cane [at] ukrm.org ¦ fireblade, r30
botafo t#50 f#03 YTC #15 bbb #6 apostle [kotl] flo#12[with bar]
New? http://www.ukrm.net/faq/ukrmscbt.html
Rideout? http://www.horrible.demon.co.uk/botafof/
"Brace yourselves ladies, I'm coming in dry"

 

"I'm getting low on fuel and I'm trying to get to the petrol station
before it runs out."

"Show me the video."

"There was this crocodile, see ..."

"That's an awfully nice black suit, Officer. It fits sooo well,
especially around the seat - do you mind if I feel the cloth?"

 

"My waters broken"

Paul

 

[snip]

"...which has just been beset by a plague of crocodiles...."

 

Nothing personal, but I'm seriously thinking about starting an aggressive
"anyone who mentions that reptile gets killfiled" policy ...

 

Just because you don't understand it.

 

I'm thinking of going one stage further and killfiling anyone with a
posting name that's an animal.

I mean, now that Bear's gone, who'd be lose of any note?

 

Andrewr At Work

I ee e oe a ou, ou u

 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

ahem.